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self care

pelvic floor blog sex with emilyRecently, I was on a Zoom call for a class on vulnerability.  The facilitator asked us what we are doing during this pandemic to improve an area of our lives. I realized that my answer was unique: I have been working on strengthening my pelvic floor. 

You may not realize, but exercising your pelvic floor is something you can do for yourself during this stressful time. All genders benefit from strengthening this area, as it affects your health in a variety of ways.

A strong pelvic floor can help support female organs, as well as the bladder. It may help prevent UTIs – which can get in the way of pain-free sex. Even better, a strong pelvic floor may help support a better sex life, affording better orgasms and increased genital sensitivity.

If you have a penis, a stronger pelvic floor can help with better range of motion for thrusting, and allow you to ejaculate further and with more control! Woohoo!

Let’s get into two ways you can strengthen your pelvic floor.

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breaking up quarantine blog sex with emilyBreakups can be horribly painful even in the best circumstances. Breaking up during quarantine can cause even more emotional havoc, heretofore unseen in our lifetime. Splitting up has never been more complicated or just plain weird.

The rules of breakups have changed. There are all these memes saying “no matter how scared or lonely you are, don’t text your ex.” Well, that sounds good in theory, but in the middle of an adrenaline-pumping global crisis, it is easier said than done. Continue Reading

sexual trauma blog sex with emilyExperiencing and processing trauma is one of the hardest things we do as humans. Sexual trauma is an incredibly difficult thing to move past whether or not you’re in a relationship. Of course, having these conversations with sexual and romantic partners can be incredibly difficult.

Whether you’ve experienced it, or are dating someone who has, knowing how to navigate sexual trauma in relationships is an important way to make everyone feel safe and secure as you’re getting steamy. Continue Reading

day off blog sex with emilyWhen you’re in a long-term relationship it can feel like the world doesn’t exist without your partner. You are joined at the hip, walking lock-armed through life. You get so used to being with them all the time and talking to them about everything that is going on in your life.

This type of time investment is common and often desirable for many couples. But there might be times when it becomes too much. Sometimes you need to take some time for yourself and take a “day off” for yourself.

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depression blog sex with emilySometimes you don’t want to get out of bed in a sexy way. You and your boo woke up feeling frisky, you went from bed to the shower back to bed and five more minutes quickly turned into 35 more minutes. And three orgasms. A new record. 

Of course, sometimes you don’t want to get out of bed in a totally not sexy way. You don’t have any energy. You’re not enjoying things the way you used to. You feel tired and down all the time. Or worse, you don’t feel anything at all.

Whether you’ve dealt with depression for a while or you’re experiencing it for the first time — navigating your mental health can be totally overwhelming. And when sex is the last thing on your mind, it can be hard to know how to keep up the spark. Here are some tips on balancing sex and depression. 

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Valentine's Day blog sex with emilyValentine’s Day. Love it or hate it, here it comes! 

If you are single (as I have been most of my life), you might fall on the “hating it” side. You might see constant reminders everywhere of the “couplehood” you are not currently in. Or, if you just got out of a relationship, the holiday flurry of flower sales, chocolates wrapped in red cellophane, and hearts everywhere, might just put you in the worst mood ever. (Last year, I broke up with someone on Valentine’s Day – not recommended.)

I am here to tell you that you can have a fabulous Valentine’s Day without any romantic partner in sight. How? Let me show you the way.

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mental health blog sex with emilyMental health has become quite the buzzword in recent years. Its importance to every aspect of our lives is something that can’t be overstated. 

It’s how we act, how we feel, how we talk, how we think. When you’re not in the best place, it has a major way of wreaking havoc on your life. 

But the good news is, there are a lot of ways to help bolster our mental health! The first step is talking about it. Check out this mix of our favorite mental health-focused blogs and podcasts.  

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introvert blog sex with emilyDating can be a challenge for all personality types: introverts, extroverts, and whatever the hell Taylor Swift is. Just because you’re an introvert doesn’t mean you don’t want lasting love and connection!

You’d just rather do it on your own terms. Which is, most likely, at home in your PJ cuddled up with your cat. So, here’s some tips and tricks for dating people when you’re perfectly content being alone.

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sexual blog sex with emilyFor some peculiar reason, modern society raises us to view sexuality as something rigid and fixed, as if our sensuality could be set in stone. You’re gay or you’re straight, trans or cis, vanilla or kinky, and that’s that.

However through both my personal experience, and my years working as a sexuality doula, this doesn’t seem to be the case. At all.

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space blog sex with emilyThere’s no right time to hear that your partner “needs some space” from you and your relationship. It’s healthy to have your own lives, and good to talk about your boundaries. But sometimes it seems like “needing space” is a precursor for calling it quits. 

Of course, taking some time for yourself isn’t a bad thing. And your partner needing space doesn’t mean that you’re smothering them, or that your relationship is doomed. In fact, your partner saying they need space can be your inspiration to start living your own life too. 

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