Let’s talk about setting yourself up for sex-cess in the AM.
Over the years, I’ve learned that sexual pleasure doesn’t happen on accident. I’m far more likely to experience it if I’ve got the right habits in place: habits that make me feel clean and confident, sexy and sensual.
Some of these habits are sleep hygiene basics (get eight hours of sleep a night, wake up at the same time every day, charge my phone outside of the bedroom), but the real magic happens when I wake up.
So let’s help you feel yourself all day long, starting with a 10/10 morning routine.
Breathwork in Bed
If your mind is a mess, you can pretty much kiss sexy vibes goodbye. So first thing’s first:
- 3 to 20 minutes of breathwork, to soothe your nervous system and clear your mind.
- The full 20 minutes is ideal, but if there’s not enough time, I don’t want to make myself feel bad. I can always find 3 minutes.
- Since psychologists have found that a regular breathing practice is effective in fighting anxiety, depression, and stress, it’s one I try not to skip.
Meditate, Masturbate, Manifest
While you’re still in bed, it’s the perfect time for my favorite ritual of all.
- “Meditate masturbate manifest” is something you can try after breath work, to take advantage of your calm state.
- As you start your self-touch, be alive to each and every tiny sensation.
- Need a boost, vulva owners? I’m currently loving the Empress 2 by VUSH, which mimics the best oral sex of your entire life.
- It’s a fantastic toy on its own, but it’s also a part of VUSH’s I Come First Self-Connection Kit.**
- No matter what you use to reach orgasm, you can utilize all the nourishing chemicals you just gave yourself, like oxytocin.
- It’s what some scientists call “the love hormone.”
- What are you feeling gratitude for? And, what would you like to see more of? Use your post-O glow to manifest like you mean it.
After you’re done: keep the good vibes going and make your bed! A recent survey found that among people who made their bed each morning, 58 percent said they were productive the rest of the day. I like those odds.
Next: love on your body even more.
- Orals first (no, not that kind…yet). Brush teeth and use mouthwash with an all-day bad breath killer (SmartMouth is my current obsession: it uses zinc ions to eliminate bad breath for 24 hours with just two rinses a day). There’s nothing sexier than smelling good (all day long).
- Next, face time. My own skincare routine changes, but the one non-negotiable is Supergoop sunblock: I slather that stuff on.
- Onto the rest of your bod: most of us are lucky if we manage to get on lotion, but check it out. A recent study found that regular oil-based self-massage resulted in more relaxation, stress relief, and emotional equilibrium. Nice, right? I use OSEA Malibu products for this step.
You’ve breathed. You’ve cleansed. You’ve orgasmed! Time to get the blood flowing.
- You’ll reap the mental health benefits all day long, when you work out in the morning.
- My ideal scenario is yoga, but even if it’s a half-hour walk, I try to get up in time each day for at least a little activity.
- Don’t worry if it’s not a hardcore workout – just see what happens when you’re active each morning.
- It’s like giving yourself a shot of endorphins: feel-good chemicals that set the rest of your day up for pleasure.
Journal Your Intentions
This is a bit of extra credit, but if you can: put pen to paper, and write down your intentions for the day.
- Doing so will make you feel more in control of the day’s events, rather than your schedule controlling you.
- If your intention is sex, fabulous.
- But maybe, your intention is to get dressed in an outfit that makes you feel hot, to cook a meal that lights up your senses, or reach out to a friend on your lunch break. The world is your oyster!
- The key thing is to not do this journaling on your phone: use an actual analogue, old school journal. The mere act of writing has been shown to improve memory and information retention, and help you focus on what’s important.
When you’ve got a morning routine that makes you feel empowered and calm, it’s sooo much easier to feel sexy during the day. You’ve dosed yourself with positive hormones, you’ve generated blood flow all over, and you’ve prioritized your pleasure. Time completely well spent.
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**Right now, VUSH is holding a 14-day I Come First self-connection challenge, to see what happens when you devote 14 days to loving yourself. Along with the Empress 2, the I Come First Kit contains Connection Cues (50 limited edition cards consisting of affirmations, prompts and self reflection) and a Digital Challenge Calendar to guide you through the 14 days. Interested? Use code EMILYICF at checkout to receive an additional 10% off VUSH’s already half-price ‘Self Connection’ Kit’. That’s a total saving of 60% just for you!