Hands up if you’ve ever been stressed out by your penis.

Your erections are unpredictable. You’re not sure when you’ll ejaculate. You’re hard, then you’re soft, or you’re not hard at all…even though you really wanna do it. 

Maybe you knuckle-grip through sex, so you don’t come too fast. Maybe you catch your partner stealing glances at the clock, because it’s been a really long time and you still haven’t finished yet.

Any of it sound familiar? 

If so – not to fear. I’ve got four sex positions and techniques, to address the four most common issues for penis owners. But first, a little science.

Why your erections are unpredictable

At the end of the day, it all comes down to blood flow, artery function, and vein function. 

You get an erection because the arteries inside of it swell with blood. That’s a function of your overall vascular health, and how well your blood is pumping. When your penis is swollen and stiff, the veins inside narrow, “trapping” the blood inside and keeping your penis hard. 

Losing your erection, or not being able to get one in the first place, is a form of ED (erectile dysfunction) with many causes. But whether it’s lifestyle choices that inhibit healthy blood flow, psychological issues (like anxiety) that block blood flow, hormone imbalances or medication – they pretty much come down to one thing. Say it with me: blood flow. 

You can learn more about ED in my article, right here. Certain sex positions can help in this department, but let’s talk about ejaculation next.

Why your ejaculatory response is unpredictable

If erections are mostly about blood, ejaculation is mostly about your nervous system.

Premature ejaculation is common for tons of penis owners, but especially those with super sensitive nerve cells in their penis. You can also have an overgrowth of nerve endings in your penis, making sensation even more explosive. 

Now, factor in learned behaviors and habits. Do you naturally masturbate and finish quickly? Maybe because that’s what you had to do in high school, before Mom walked in and caught you? Your body may have a learned association, that any kind of penis stimulation = come quickly! 

When it comes to delayed ejaculation, the causes are many: age, alcohol use, hypothyroidism, medications. But a huge factor is (again) the nervous system, because they aren’t firing enough to trigger orgasm. It’s a less common disorder for penis owners, but if that’s something you experience on the regular, visiting a urologist could be an enormous help.

Now that we’re clear on what’s happening in your body, let’s talk helpful sex positions, shall we?

Premature Ejaculation 

First: if this is your struggle, may I recommend a delay spray, to calm those nerve endings down? I can’t say enough good things about Promescent: a top-shelf delay spray that absorbs quickly, doesn’t transfer, and just gives you more control during penetrative sex.

Try this position:

Spooning

A great position for more shallow penetration, spooning can definitely help you last longer. Why? Because although most of your nerve endings are concentrated in the head of the penis, they also run down the shaft, the base, the perineum…and spooning largely avoids these areas, so you don’t get overstimulated. 

Losing Your Erection

An all too common problem with many causes, yet for many there’s a simple solution! The blue pill type meds put more blood in, but don’t keep it there. Most c-rings prevent blood from getting in, as well as flowing out. FirmTech makes a Performance Ring that I absolutely love, because it comfortably traps blood in, keeping you hard,  while not blocking more blood from getting in to sustain your erection.. And, because it has a unique feature: a latch and loop, it ez on and ez off and can be worn for hours! This is pretty unique in the penis ring world (most stretch around your penis and testicles, with no quick release), so for ease of use, this is a fantastic choice.

Try this position:

Cowgirl + Cowboy

More acrobatic sex moves require blood flow to your big muscle groups. But when you’re laying down and your partner’s on top, blood can more easily concentrate in the penis. Great news for all involved (especially your erection).

Not Getting An Erection

You feel turned on, you want to have sex – but whither your erection?  Tantra to the rescue.

Try this:

Genital Massage

Unlike your average hand job, a Tantric genital massage (or “lingham massage”) is designed to slowly build arousal, ease anxiety, and generate pleasure: no matter what the penis is doing.

Through mutual, deep breathing and nourishing touch, the goal is to use a variety of strokes and pressure to awaken nerves inside the inner thighs, the sensitive skin around testicles and penis, and the perineum. Whether you’re self-administering or working with a partner, know this: once erection does happen, see if you can edge. That will increase excitement, and lead to a more satisfying climax. You’ll also want a long-lasting lube, particularly a vasodilator if possible. Morgasm has an excellent one: it contains CBD, which promotes blood flow, arousal, and increases sensitivity to touch. 

Delayed Ejaculation 

Taking forever to finish? What you need is deep penetration, to stimulate all the nerve endings possible.

Try this: 

Doggy Style

Not only is this position visually hot, it creates the most friction possible on your penis. Ding ding ding! You’re getting head, shaft, base, and possibly even a little testicle stimulation, combined with hard thrusts and a sexy view. Ejaculation time bomb.

Sex positions aren’t just fun to play with: they’re strategic. When you run up against one of these issues in the future, take one of these ideas out for a spin – and put yourself back in the driver’s seat. 

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