5 Ways to Be a Better Lover in 2024

two sexy women touching

New year, new sex life. Want to make your New Year’s resolutions sexy? You’ve come to the right place. 

This year, we’re putting the “DO disturb” sign on any old, unhelpful messaging about sex. We’re replacing it with curiosity and confidence, because this year, we’re learning new things! Mostly about how to be a hot lover. Ready?

Let your sexiest year begin…

1. Learn where the G-spot or P-spot is.

You can do this on yourself or a partner. When you know where the G-spot is, you can train squirting and G-spot orgasms. When you know where the P-spot is, you can train prostate orgasms, which are possible even when not erect. Both G-spot and P-spot orgasms feel incredibly intense, like full-body waves of pleasure that start from deep inside.

Pro tip: Use a toy. Eventually, you might be able to locate and stimulate the G-spot and/or P-spot with fingers alone. But for now, vibration makes it easier to pinpoint: your body will tell you when it’s feeling good. Find:

G-spot toys here 

P-spot toys here

A guide to finding the G-spot here 

A guide to finding the P-spot here 

2. Give an erotic massage.

This is such a generous act to do for a partner. Touch from someone we trust is soothing, and when it’s between lovers, massage can be super arousing. Make it a point in 2024 to give erotic massage, learn what type of touch feels good, and how to make the environment around you extra sexy.

Pro tip: Use a body safe massage candle. It creates a vibe, it smells amazing, and you can pour the warmed wax directly onto skin or your hands for sexy temperature play. This is one of my favorites

3. Ask more questions. 

Want to know a universally sexy quality? Curiosity. When a lover is genuinely curious about their partner’s desires, it’s so much easier to talk about sex. Even better, you can make intentional sex plans together! 

Pro tip: Use the Yes No Maybe list. It’s a downloadable sheet that will give you inspo for sex acts and desires, and can help get the conversation started. 

4. Get clear on your fantasies and turn-ons.

When we know what we like in bed, we relieve our partner’s from having to guess. Great lovers know what they want, and aren’t afraid to ask and get consent. So do your current and future partners an enormous courtesy, and spend more time with yourself fantasizing and having solo sex.

Pro tip: Try mindful masturbation. It’s a practice for slowing down and getting more out of self-pleasure, including useful information about the scenarios and emotions you find sexy. Want to have an amazing orgasm while you do it? Apply an arousal gel: it prompts blood flow to your genitals, for a stronger climax. 

5. Try a new kink.

Even if you don’t consider yourself kinky, it’s an awesome practice to try things that are sexually novel. Remember, “kink” is technically anything outside of the realm of conventional sex – whatever that looks like to you. So whether this is the year you try dirty talk, or the year you try blindfolds and restraints, choose a kink-lite activity that sounds appealing. Then do it! 

Pro tip: Get a kink kit. There are all kinds to choose from, but I love this one because it comes with a sex toy, blindfold and restraint, a body safe candle for temperature play, and a deck of sexy question cards. Everything you need for a hot night! 

How else do you want to be a better lover this year? Try these ideas, and watch your sex life get even more amazing. 

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