Ask Emily: How Can My Partner and I Try Face-Sitting?

face sitting, couple in bed
Dear Dr. Emily,

How can I sit on my boyfriend’s face without breaking his jaw? When I’m into it, the pressure on his jaw hurts him and I need some tips!



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Dear Ashley,

Face-sitting, sometimes known as queening, is a fantastic oral position for not only the receiver but also the giver. Some people get off on the idea that they’re a person’s “throne,” and it can be incredibly empowering for the sitter. (AKA,  the queen.)

That said, many find that there can be a bit of an adjustment period when trying to find the right angles. To enjoy maximum face-sitting fun you’ll want to ensure the set-up is comfortable enough for both you and your partner to unleash your primal sides. Here are my favorite tips to make face-sitting as comfortable (and as erotic) as possible for the sitter and seated.

Kneel into it.

Rather than face-sitting, think of this position more like face-kneeling. Position yourself over your partner by straddling their chest with your knees and scoot forward until you’re in place.

You can have your partner lie closer to the headboard so you can put your hands on it for extra support. This way, you can distribute your weight with your legs, knees, and arms. Leaning into other parts of your body can also help you distribute some of your weight.

Remember: you’re in the driver’s seat.

One of my favorite things about face-sitting is the control you have over your pleasure when you’re doing the sitting. If you’re used to taking a more submissive role in sex, face-sitting also a great way to play with power dynamics and unleash your inner dom. Try restricting your partner’s arms or legs as they eat you out and dictate the length of the oral sex makeout—but do keep in mind that they need to take breaths throughout the session.

Your partner can also lie completely still while you do all the moving. You can grind as hard or soft as you want on your partner’s face and do the motions that feel the best for you. This way, you don’t have to worry about your partner straining their jaw. Just be sure to communicate and check in with your partner to ensure they are comfortable, too.

Another option is for you to stay completely still while your partner does all the work. This way, you’re really paying attention to how it feels and not adding extra pressure on your partner’s face. They can also touch themselves while they stimulate your vulva to enhance mutual pleasure.

Pillows are your best sex accessory.

To make face-sitting more comfortable, place pillows under your knees for extra support. Trust me—they’ll enhance sex in any position. You can also opt to have pillows above his head to rest your arms on them if they get tired.

Once you find your rhythm, hold onto it! With just a little practice, both you and your partner will become face-sitting royalty.