Ask Emily: How Do I *Actually* Start Squirting?

woman in shower
Dear Emily,

I have a confession…I would looooove to start squirting. But, I’m not sure how? Am I peeing? I’ve heard it’s a different fluid, but how do I, like, make it come out? It all seems so mysterious, but I’d love some guidance.

 – Squirter in Training


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Dear Squirter In Training,

First of all, a big YES to your goal. What you want is absolutely possible, dear Squirter.

I recently interviewed Deborah Sundahl, author of Female Ejaculation and the G-Spot, and together we’ve got some great information for you. So let’s demystify squirting, and help you figure out what’s happening there. Here are four tips for a better, wetter future:

1. Know this: all vulva-owners can ejaculate.

The G-Spot (or G-Area, as I call it) is the prostate of vulva-owners. When you’re squirting, what comes out is prostatic fluid, and all vulva-owners have a prostate, just like penis-owners. But it’s internal, so how do you find it? That brings me to…

2. Locate your G-Spot (Or G-Area).

Anatomically speaking, this is Squirting HQ. Let’s go find it! 

Deborah recommends pointing a mirror at your vulva, using your fingers to part your labia, and bearing down with your pelvic floor muscles. See the flesh expanding into view, the one with ridges on it? That’s your prostate, aka, your G-Spot. 

So next time you see a skeptical headline that declares, “does the G-Spot even exist??” Yes, but it’s more like a “G-Area,” rather than a specific spot.  As you can see with your own eyes, this area is your prostate, tucked about two inches inside internally, surrounding your urethral canal. The G-Area isn’t vague; what’s vague is the medical industry, which is just now catching up to the anatomical intricacies of the vulva and its attendant tissue. 

3. Stimulate it.

Now that you have confidence that your G-Area exists, let’s talk about stimulating it: for both vaginal orgasm, and for squirting. 

Note: the vaginal orgasm is different from the clitoral orgasm. Why? Well, the clitoris and female prostate (aka G-Area) are connected. But they stimulate two different nerves: the clitoris primarily stimulates the pudendal nerve, while the G-Area stimulates the pelvic branch of the vagus nerve. I know I know, it’s a lot of science, but I share this with you so that you stimulate it properly, Squirter. Trust me, it’s worth it! Clitoral orgasms are delicious, but vaginal orgasm is a full-body, seeing stars kind of experience. It’s glorious.

G-Area stimulation requires: 

  • A slow, steady build, not pounding, fast penetration. That will just numb things out. The nerve you’re stimulating is deep and internal and requires patience.
  • Location: stimulate your G-Area with a finger, toy or penis, pointing towards your belly, applying pressure toward the frontal vaginal lining. 
  • The right position: Deborah recommends supporting your upper torso on a surface, like a bed or a table, and having a partner insert from behind, or using one of your hands/toys to stimulate from behind. 

So now you know that you can squirt, what part of your body is responsible, and how to access it! That brings me to my last tip:

4. Understand that orgasm and squirting are two different functions.

They can happen simultaneously, but you may find that you experience vaginal orgasm only.  If your goal is squirting, try this:

  • Slow down. You’re building up tension for an orgasmic release, and it takes time to engorge the erectile tissue of your G-Area.  
  • Feel for the “I have to pee” sensation. Squirting is not peeing, but when you’re first trying this, the tension might feel similar.
  • Let go, and let it flow. You’re rewiring your brain around what’s possible, and while ejaculate is made up of other fluids, there might be a little pee at first. Put down a towel roll with it. 
  • Take everything out. Most vulva-owners can’t ejaculate with something in their vagina. So when you feel something coming on…take out the toy, penis, or finger, so your G-Area can release prostatic fluid properly. 

Bonus Tip: Some folks find it easier to squirt after they’ve had a clitoral orgasm—this is because the G-Area swells and makes it easier to find. Give it a try next time you’re “sex-perimenting” with a toy that’s perfect for clitoral stimulation—I personally recommend the Magic Wand, as it’s one of the most iconic (and strongest) clitoral stimulation toys. Plus, who doesn’t love multiples?

And there you have it! Squirting is super hot, and it’s also accessible. You don’t need magic—you just need a prostate. Have fun!