With the rise in popularity of BDSM and all things kink, there are also a lot of misconceptions going around. Unfortunately, some of the recent movies about BDSM (not naming names *cough*) miss the mark on the cornerstone principles of BDSM for most kinksters.
What exactly is the allure of the sexy schoolgirl role? Maybe it’s the innocent impulsivity or the inherent nerdiness. Maybe it’s the idea of a “brat,” or an inner smarty pants that’s dying to make an appearance. Or maybe it’s simply the innate power dynamic between student and teacher. (BTW—don’t make this weird. We’re obviously talking about consenting adults role-playing here.)
Whatever the reason, many find it extremely hot to experiment with a schoolgirl/teacher dynamic. Below are our top ideas for those willing and ready to dive into this exciting role-play scenario.
Look the part
If you want to bring out your inner school girl, you need to be a “good girl” and don the uniform. Where would a sexy schoolgirl be without the classic plaid, pleated short skirt? It’s irresistible and puts you in the right headspace for some flirty fun.
Corrupt the rest of your outfit by putting on a white button-up shirt and tying the ends high around your waist. Try out a lacy bra or go without—either can be super sexy. Finish the look with some knee-high socks and Mary Jane shoes. And if you’ve got the heart for it, why not go for pigtails?
Practice your pout
Part of the sexy schoolgirl aesthetic is body language. Perfect your pout by laying on some thick clear lip gloss and pucker up! To get even more into it, open your eyes wide, lift your voice a tad higher, and cross your arms. (You might even consider sucking on a lollipop or blowing bubblegum.)
Cock your head to one side and give your Dom a sly smile. They won’t be able to resist.
Role-play with your partner
To really amp things up, have your sexual partner play a role of their own. You can have them be the “teacher.” Maybe they make you stand in the corner or send you to get punished by the “headmaster.” Respond by throwing a temper tantrum. Then demand something you want. Or better yet, be coy and beg.
If you’re into BDSM, consider role-playing with some dominance/submission (i.e., “power exchange”) with your partner being the dominant (they could be a “daddy” or a “sir” or “teacher” or anyone in authority). If you’re okay with it, include some impact play, like a spanking.
Another great way to role-play the sexy schoolgirl is to become a “brat.” Make some sassy comments to your partner and refuse to go along with anything they say. (Other tips for being a “brat”: be late, chew gum obnoxiously, roll your eyes and say “whatever”…)
In any case, bringing out your inner brat can amp up your sexy, rebellious side and may also help you get “punished” by your partner—in a great way.
Text like a teen.
If you want to role-play with your partner, a fun way to do that is to text NSFW pics to them in your uniform, especially at inappropriate times of the day. You can tease your partner with a pouty pic or beg for some sort of frivolous gift that a teen might ask for. If your partner texts you to do something, say “no.” Maybe you’ll get punished for it later.
Be a badass.
Sexy schoolgirls know what’s what. Even if you are doing some consensual age play in your dynamic, your inner schoolgirl is smart AF and knows herself. Embody your smartest (even nerdiest) self when you put on your uniform. Knowledge is power. You can even “school” your partner on feminist ideals as you flirt and pout your way to getting what you want (in the bedroom and out).
Remember, this is consensual role-play—your inner schoolgirl is a fun, playful side of you that is simultaneously powerful and intelligent.
Unleash your erotic, innocent self.
Sex is how adults “play,” and play in the bedroom can be a cornerstone to opening up your erotic self to your partner.
As Esther Perel puts it: “Eroticism isn’t sex; it’s sexuality transformed by the human imagination.” Use your imagination and let your inner innocence come out in the bedroom through simply being playful. That’s part of the schoolgirl charm. Touch and play with your body as if you are discovering it for the first time. Bring in some fun toys, like a ruler to be spanked with, or a vibrator to play with solo or with a partner to tease you with or to “show you the ropes.” It’s all in the spirit of unleashing your erotic innocence.
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Emily Anne is a bestselling author, sex coach, and educator, who specializes in helping people expand their sexual horizons through BDSM and kink. When she’s not obsessively talking about sex, she’s hiking through the Hollywood Hills. Get some sexy education on her Instagram feed.
If you think quarantine is difficult, imagine adding pregnancy to the equation. Are you thinking about conceiving or giving birth soon? This episode is for you. Emily talks to celebrity doula and maternity wellness expert Latham Thomas.
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Happy International Non-binary People’s Day! In this episode, Emily talks to the charming non-binary actor Vico Ortiz about how they keep dating interesting during COVID. Vico’s gone to great lengths to keep themselves busy and satisfied while stuck at home so if you’re missing human connection, this one’s for you. They also discuss the difference between gender and sexuality, what to do if you get someone’s pronouns wrong and healthy ways to make time for yourself.
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There are many different kinds of fetishes in the world. This fetish spotlight is on “Financial domination” (or “Findom” for short).
I find this fetish to be one of the most interesting – and often misunderstood. The sexual attraction in this fetish generally comes from the exchange of money. Financial domination “is a very real fetish involving a submissive being ‘forced’ to give money to the Dominant.”
So what’s the deal? How does this fetish play out, what’s the appeal, and how do you get into it? Let’s unpack this kinky arrangement.
It’s been 15 years of Sex With Emily and what better way to celebrate than to bring back Emily’s first podcast episode ever. In 15 years she’s covered everything from communication to masturbation, but in this very special episode we dive into uncharted territory – Sex With the host herself, Emily.
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For all the BDSM lovers out there, this ongoing quarantine may have put a wrench in your dynamic. On top of ordering face masks and keeping our hands clean, you might not have the ability to meet up as frequently as you’d like. Luckily, you don’t have to be in the same room to keep up with your Dom/sub lifestyle. You can keep your power dynamic at the tip of your fingers, through text.
Texting can be a great way to Dom someone. For one thing, your commands are right there in black and white – less room for misinterpretation.
Here are some ways you can Dom someone via text. As always, consent is key for any and all BDSM activity, including communicating via text.
When we think about great sex, a positive and pleasure-packed experience is what often comes to mind. However, for some out there, it’s something a little darker that does the trick! All thanks to two little words: humiliation and degradation.
You’ve probably heard it and seen it. Perhaps it was while watching porn. Perhaps it was while watching a blockbuster film of a certain shade of gray. But erotic humiliation is yet another powerful way to spice up your sex play.
From exploring power dynamics to testing emotional boundaries, it’s something that – albeit may sometimes feel extreme – can open up a whole new world of intimate possibilities with the right partner.
Interested? Thought so. Let’s do a deeper dive:
FIRST OFF, THE BASICS
In a nutshell, erotic humiliation/degradation refers to getting aroused from the cocktail of emotions that come with being teased, demeaned and degraded. Humiliation includes belittlement, commands, sexual stimulation, etc. Degradation includes insults, name calling, – the works.
On the mild side of the spectrum, it looks like someone calling you a “stupid little baby”. On the extreme side it looks like getting hogtied and orgasm-tortured while everyone at the sex party points and laughs. These acts under normal circumstances are the sorts of things that usually make people feel uncomfortable or shamed, but erotic humiliation completely flips the switch on those core emotions, plus so much more.
Although erotic humiliation is popular within the BDSM scene, it’s also worth clarifying the two have a few stark differences. Unlike some kinky interests, erotic humiliation is not about the humiliation-causing acts themselves, rather the emotions they elicit. Humiliation is a form of submission, but not all submission has to entail humiliation/degradation tactics.
WHERE’S THE PLEASURE?
One person’s pain can be another person’s pleasure. Sexiness is subjective. It’s hard to pinpoint from where the appeal 100% stems. Sure, it’s easy to associate humiliation with that one embarrassing day in sixth grade gym class. But for many it can be a supremely, surprisingly freeing and healing experience.
A huge element of sexual exploration is getting to dip your toes into things that are sometimes considered taboo. In the world of kink and fetish, there are endless types of power dynamic. Whether it’s a Dom/sub, DDlg, or furry play, carrying out something that safely and consensually pushes the boundaries of human experience can feel liberating without a doubt. This is especially true when doing it with a trusted partner that’s on the same page as you.
MAKE IT YOUR OWN
What sets this one apart from some other fetishes is the fact that it’s subjective AND doesn’t even have to be inherently sexual. Since the name of the sensuous game is feeling humiliation, everything from the dialogue and physicality, to level of overt sexuality depends on those involved.
Some people find receiving it hot, others enjoy dishing it out, and sometimes it’s a mix of both. The humiliation can happen in public at a sex party, or in the privacy of your own sex dungeon. Despite the fetish looking different from situation to situation, the one non-negotiable is both partners truly knowing each other – and what words, tones and actions will actually drive it all home.
SAFETY FIRST! (& HOW TO DO IT)
In addition to being on the same page with your partner, the other golden rule of erotic humiliation is that consent, as always, is absolutely everything.
Ahead of jumping into the hot and heavy action, having a candid conversation about what you how you want to engage in humiliation and degradation is the hands-down best way to kick things off. When playing with your emotions erotically, the experience can go in many different directions. It’s good to discuss and establish mutually agreed-upon boundaries, as well as have a safe word in your back pocket just in case.
After it all goes down, you additionally want to allow some time for aftercare and not be afraid to talk about the experience in general. Not only will reflecting upon the experience help you figure out how you felt about it, but a joint debrief can definitely reveal what worked as well as what didn’t for improving upon moving forward.
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When it comes to any fetish, you ultimately just have to do you. But knowing they are an insanely interesting way to explore some of the most basic building blocks to any healthy relationship…well, it just keeps things all the more interesting, right?
Alex Anderson is an LA-based lifestyle designer proactively raging against the cultural grain. By day she works in television production, and by night enjoys writing, sewing and seeking guidance from the stars. She also finally has an all black kitty named “Cher.” You can follow her alt-lifestyle blog MSFT Living and on Instagram!
Have you ever wanted to last longer in bed? Ever get into the groove and then prematurely get to your destination? Just looking for a more intense orgasm? Then edging might be for you.
Here are some tips and tricks to not only work on your stamina, but to practice the art of edging – keeping yourself at bay before the fireworks.
Remember those wholesome tickle fights you had at sleepovers? It all might sound like wholesome fun to some of us, but to others…it’s sexy as hell.
It’s well known that us horndogs can make ANYTHING into a fetish: feet, bees, falling down the stairs. You name it, and someone finds it sexy. Which leads me to our latest fetish spotlight: tickling.
