How Do I Have Better Doggy-Style Sex?

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Dear Emily, 

Do you have any tips for making doggy-style sex more enjoyable? All of my friends tell me it’s one of their favorites, but I just don’t see what the big deal is. It’s not that I don’t like doing it, I just don’t love it and I really want to! Could I be doing it wrong? Is there anything I could be doing better? Please give me all of your doggy-style hacks!

Nadia  

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Dear Nadia,

I totally hear you. While doggy-style sex might not be your favorite, there are a few reasons why so many people love it. Doggy-style is a sex position in which the person penetrating kneels or stands behind the person receiving. This is great because it:

  • allows for deeper penetration
  • is typically physically comfortable for both parties
  • shows off the booty
  • dabbles in elements of power play

That said, doggy-style’s glowing reputation can be frustrating for people who don’t understand the hype. While doggy-style sex can certainly be fun, it doesn’t offer much room for clitoral stimulation for vulva-owners. It also has the potential to be less intimate than other positions, as you and your partner aren’t looking at one another. 

It’s totally fine that you don’t love it. But if you want to love it (and it sounds like you do), I’ve got some ideas. 

Play with levels.

There are lots of little “micro-positions” within doggy-style sex, so I’d encourage you to play with variety and see what you discover. If your partner is the one doing the penetration, start with them on their knees and behind your body, and maybe try out a few different levels with your arms. Maybe they’re straight, maybe you’re on your elbows, or maybe you’re lying totally flat. Playing with these different levels might help you discover something you like. 

You can also switch it up so that you (if you’re the receiver) are more in control. Have your partner sit back on their heels while lifting your knees and wrapping them around their body. It’s a bit of a challenge at first, but can be really fun once you get the hang of it!  

Use your hands.

One of the best ways to make doggy-style sex more fun to incorporate other parts of your body, especially your hands. The penetrator can physically connect to their partner by grabbing their hips and pulling them in and out for more thrusting power. While this can be intense, it really helps amp up the power play elements of doggy-style. This can be great if the receiver likes to feel dominated or controlled. 

Hands are also great for clitoral and nipple stimulation. Because doggy-style sex in its simplest form doesn’t do much for the clitoris, vulva-owners will likely enjoy the added pleasure from having other erogenous zones explored. And don’t forget about hair! Whether it’s stroking or pulling (this will depend on the receiver’s preference), many people find that hair-play can be extremely erotic. 

Switch up your location.

Doggy-style is a fairly easy position to incorporate into fun locations. Try it in the home office with the receiver’s hands using a chair or desk for support, or in the kitchen for a pre-dinner quickie. The flexibility of this position means it’s great for spontaneous sex. If the receiver is wearing a dress, they don’t even need to get fully naked! 

Check out your reflection.

One of the potential downsides of doggy-style is that it’s harder to see your partner’s face. You can remedy this by having sex in front of a mirror. It can be extremely hot to look over and see your partner giving it to you/taking you—especially in those moments where you make eye contact. (Oooh, baby!) 

Lube it up.

Dryness level is not always an indicator of whether or not you need lube. Even if you’re a naturally wet person, lube can make all sorts of sex positions feel 10x easier—and this includes doggy-style.  For some of my go-to lubes, check out System Jo’s lineup. 

Make space for intimacy.

While power play and more dominating positions like doggy-style sex can be incredibly hot, some folks might miss the intimacy that comes from other positions. Find small ways to connect with one another, like taking a break to make out. The penetrator also might consider whispering sweet or sexy things into the receiver’s ears—you’re in a great position for it!