How to Squirt (For Real)

Black anonymous woman's body; breast and chest in underwear

Call it the porn effect, but for the past 10 years or so, I get questions on the daily about squirting. Namely, how to do it. 

The desire is understandable (lots of us find it super hot), but so is the confusion. Sexual health is understudied in general, but when it comes to squirting, we have precious few data points from research studies. In fact, one of the most recent studies showed that about 10-54% of people with vaginas experience squirting, and that was conducted in 2013. Let’s update that one, science. 

What we can definitely say is that female ejaculation and squirting are real sexual phenomena – it’s not pee. So let’s talk about how to experience it for yourself.

Go it alone

My first tip for squirting is to try it during solo sex. You’ll feel so much less pressure than trying it for the first time with a partner (although if that accidentally happens, great!). Being alone allows you to pinpoint the exact right spots, and take all the time you need to build up sensation. 

Use a toy

To train your body for squirting, you need to stimulate your G-spot, located a couple inches inside your vagina. Less a specific “spot” than a general area, the G-spot is part of your internal clitoral network

That’s very relevant here, because what we often call “the clitoris” is just the tiny external nub that you can see. It’s connected to a much larger organ that reaches inside your body, and we’re going to stimulate different parts of it to help you squirt. 

Stimulate externally first

Squirting is dependent on a G-spot orgasm, but it’s much easier to attain when you’ve stimulated the clitoris first (or at the same time). You have two good options here for achieving that.

1. Masturbate on the outside first, then the inside.

Use your favorite sex toy on your external clitoris to orgasm there first. This will help engorge your genitals, which makes G-spot orgasm easier to come by. For my money, there’s no better sex toy for this step than a Magic Wand: it’s rumbly vibes are so powerful, they reach inside to stimulate your entire clitoral network. (Contrast that with a typical bullet vibe, whose stimulation is much more localized.)

There are various Magic Wand models out there, but personally, I love the models that come with a cord (the Original, the Mini and the Plus): you just can’t beat the power of a toy that plugs right into the wall. If you’ve only ever tried rechargeable toys before, you’re in for a real treat.

2. Masturbate using dual stimulation.

Another route to G-spot orgasm is to stimulate yourself inside and out simultaneously. This can lead to a blended orgasm, where you experience a clitoral and G-spot orgasm at once, and squirting. (Seriously, leave time for a recovery nap.) 

The most reliable toy I’ve found for this purpose is the Enigma Wave by LELO, which has a pretty innovative feature. The external stimulator actually uses sonic pulses on your clitoris, so it feels like you’re getting oral sex. Meanwhile, the larger vibrating arm goes inside your vagina, applying rumbles to your G-spot while it’s penetrating. (You just know someone had a hot fantasy about this and created a sex toy around it.) 

This is a good time to mention lube: you’re way more likely to orgasm with it. Apply generously to yourself and the toy, and for penetrative steps, make sure to insert mindfully. No need to rush this process.

Remember to relax

It’s highly likely that the first few times you try this, you’ll have an “internal” orgasm without squirting. That’s OK! Great times were had by all. Still, here are a few tips for relaxation and general squirt prep:

  • This type of ejaculate originates from the urethra, so it’s very common to feel like you’re having to pee. 
  • Take deep breaths as your pleasure builds, and give yourself permission to “let go.” 
  • Consciously relax your pelvic floor: lots of us tense up when we’re about to orgasm, so you can even try bearing down a little with these muscles. 
  • Pay attention to moisture after you orgasm. Squirting and female ejaculation look different on everyone: sometimes, it looks like more of a watery substance (and there’s more of it), other times, it’s thicker and “milkier” (and there’s less of it). So when it’s all said and done, take a moment to note how it feels.
  • This is how your brain starts associating this type of fluid release with pleasure and intention.

Positions to try it during sex

While I’m advising you to try squirting during solo sex, you can absolutely try it during partner play, too. Here are some great positions:

Doggy style: because you’re being penetrated from behind, there’s ample room to use a hand or a toy on your external clitoris, for that oh-so-glorious blended orgasm I mentioned.

Missionary: lots of people find they can squirt here, because the penis/strap-on is angled well for G-spot stimulation. Encourage deeper thrusts from your partner.

On top: This position allows you to be in complete control of positioning, depth and timing, so you can adjust until you feel the amazing sensations of G-spot stimulation.

And there you have it, a user’s guide to squirting. I’d love to hear how this process went for you, come find me on Instagram @sexwithemily and let’s talk! 

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