Since it’s spring, some of us might think about spring cleaning and reorganizing our lives to welcome the season. But, there might be one tweak to your home that you hadn’t thought of yet: Keeping your bedroom space sexy. Now, that doesn’t necessarily mean hanging all your toys for everyone (including your kids if you have them) to see. Keeping your bedroom space sexy can include different aspects of the meaning of “space.”
The following are some top tips for creating and maintaining a hot sexy space in your bedroom.
Create space for sexy.
Whether you have sex in the bedroom or some other part of the house, creating space for sexy starts inside your body and mind. It is an internal space you create–that part of you that is creative and fun and horny and hot and steamy! Being in the right headspace helps be open to intimacy, and your space can definitely affect your headspace.
During this time and age, lots of people including myself have been more stressed out than usual–even when we don’t realize it. That can lead to what feels like low libido or a lack of interest in sex. If that is what you are going through right now, the first step to deal with it is to realize you don’t even need to “deal” with it. You can just let it be. We all need to practice surrendering and accepting our feelings right now. So, I am not going to tell you “start feeling sexy!” because it’s not as easy as flipping a switch.
What I will tell you is that if you have the desire, even a small desire to feel sexy during these times, then creating space inside yourself (in particular your heart space and your sex gland space) is important.
Once you create space energetically and with intention (yes, I know that sounds woo woo, but bear with me), it can create a void that is able to be filled. And if your intention is to feel sexy, “sexy” is what can fill that container.
Clean is sexy AF.
Now that you have cleared your inner space for sex, it is time to clear your actual space for maximum sexy. Having an organized room is a sexy room–it’s a space that represents what comforts you and where you are vulnerable, so it totally affects how your partner and you interact.
Your bedroom should be uncluttered. If there is clutter, then it is time to Kon Mari the crap out of your bedroom! (Your bedroom should spark a lot of joy as well as spark your libido.) To feel sexy and to have great sex requires the type of space that doesn’t bother you. Take the time to really organize your bedroom.
Take out all unnecessary electronics, especially computers. The only “work” you want to be doing is bumpin’ and grindin’. If at all possible, remove cell phone chargers and have them (along with your cell phone) in another room. This can be difficult, I know. At the very least, try to keep all chords and electronics out of view. If you have your phone and computer with you, your brain will associate the bedroom as a place of work and stress–which totally kills the mood when trying to feel sexy. Think of your room as a place to rest and destress.
Take your bed from boring to brazen.
Choosing the right bed is important, not just for sleep but for sex. You want to spend within your budget, of course, but not skimp on quality and comfort. A great bed that you really want to slip into at night, as well as play on any time of the day with a partner, is the focal point of the room! You want to make sure the bed is raised and is situated properly in the room, not up against a window or facing a doorway, if possible.
Coming in a close second after finding the right bed is to adorn it in a way that fosters sexy time. Don’t just use any old bedding or even ones left over from your college days. Adult up and use your imagination! Using warm colors and good quality linens is the way to go. You could also invest in some satin sheets for a boost of a sexy feel.
Keep toys within reach, but discreetly stored.
Whether you have a nice vibrator, specialty toys, or even some whips and paddles, make sure you have a special spot for them. Their home should preferably be near the bed so that the action has some flow without interruption.
If you have a lot of toys, consider getting a trunk or a nice piece of furniture you can put near the bed. I think a chest at the end of the bed could work great for that. If you have privacy issues or have little ones around, make sure the chest has a lock!
Lighting is key.
Nothing says sexy more than bright lights on your face, right? Wrong. Your bedroom should have just the right mood for the sex you want. Lights that you can dim or even colored lighting can work well. Having some candles in the room is a nice boost to the lighting. Scented candles or even massage candles are a great touch and can bring some much-needed sexiness to the room.
Check yourself out.
Putting a mirror in your bedroom adds to many areas, like increasing light and allowing you to watch yourself during sexy time. It’s a great idea for the bold. You can make your own real-time porn!
Or just admire your form and style as you masturbate or have sex with a partner or partners. A mirror can add a sense of drama and intimacy, as well as allow you to see how good your lingerie looks while you are getting it on.
With whatever goes on in the outside world, your bedroom should be a respite from all the craziness going on. Keep it a sexy safe haven and enjoy.
Emily Anne is a bestselling author, sex coach and educator, who specializes in helping people expand their sexual horizons through BDSM and kink. When she’s not obsessively talking about sex, she’s hiking through the Hollywood Hills. Get some sexy education on her Instagram feed!