How to Use a Massage Candle in Bed

hands holding massage candle in the dark

A lit candle in the bedroom is useful to create a sexy and dramatic mood for getting it on. But did you also know that a massage candle can be the best sex toy you never thought of?

Unlike regular candles, massage candles are specially made with skin-safe oils so that they burn at a lower temperature than regular candles (which can cause damage). Massage candles are a triple threat, serving as mood lighting, massage oil, and sensation play.

How to Use Your Massage Candle

Light the candle and let it burn for a few minutes to warm up the wax. While you’re waiting, you can do other things, like make out or find other ways to sex up your environment. When you’re ready, blow out the candle and allow the oil to cool. Make sure you don’t place the candle on the bed, as it might tip over and make an oily mess. Place it on a bedside table or somewhere close by the bed.

Build anticipation.

A great way to create mystery with your partner is to start with a darkened room. Have other candles lit, and start the seduction by inviting your partner to lie on the bed for a massage.

You can even ramp up the seduction and “danger” by blindfolding them and leading them to the bed. Utilize sounds and smells for some sensation play. Let them hear you light the candle and then blow it out. Build suspense as you wait for the candle wax to cool.

When you’re ready, ightly drip the massage oil on your partner’s back and then rub in with your hands. Throw in some dirty talk and your partner is bound to start squirming. 

Get into some sensual massage.

Once you have set the mood with the candle light, and prepped your candle for use as a massage oil, it is time to do some sensual play and massage!

You don’t have to be a professional massage therapist to give a great foreplay massage! Use this time to really get to know your partner’s body and focus on their (and your) pleasure.

Start slowly.

There are many areas of the body that when massaged can amp up arousal. I suggest you start with the lower back, just above the waist, which is near the kidneys.  Rub gently in circles and check-in with your partner to see how they are feeling. Feedback is important.

You can work your way onto the lower parts of the body and then back up. This massage can be the end-goal of the night or this could be a lovely warm-up to some steamy hot sex.

Take it to the next level.

If you are planning on moving on to getting it on, turn over your partner and make your way to their erogenous zones and then genital area. Caution: don’t pour hot oil on or near genitals. You also don’t want to cause unhealthy bacteria, so steer clear of using the oil too near the vulva/vagina area. Remember that this is a build-up and if you feel rushed, just slow it back down.

If you blindfolded your partner, now is a good time to take it off and let them see you massaging them as part of the foreplay. You can even surprise them by wearing new sexy lingerie.

Incorporate other toys, such as a good vibrator or topical arousal oil such as Foria. Use your hands on their body, continuing with the massage, but don’t forget you can still use your mouth! Some good sexy oral in conjunction with the sensual massage is a great way to drive your partner wild! You could even use some flavored lube.

If you are both ready, allow the sensual aspects to escalate into penetration or whatever type of sex you desire. The best thing about these candles? They last a few sessions—so you can set aside and keep it in mind for your next playtime.

Emily Anne is a bestselling author, sex coach, and educator, who specializes in helping people expand their sexual horizons through BDSM and kink. When she’s not obsessively talking about sex, she’s hiking through the Hollywood Hills. Get some sexy education on her Instagram feed.