Sex tapes, saucy videos, DIY porn…Whatever you’re calling it, the consensus is the same: homemade sex cinema can be very hot. But it can also be a minefield to navigate (practically and emotionally), so you’ll want to venture into this territory with tact and empathy. Here’s our go-to guide for how you can make a homemade sex tape.

Sex Tape 101

Making a sex tape might seem like a good idea at the time. You want to document how awesome you and your partner are at having sex. Heck, you want to watch yourself have sex while you are having sex, but before you hit record, freeze! Discuss with your partner how you plan to use the tape. For example, if one of you wants to share it on Facebook with 300 of your closest friends, you might want to put your big film debut on hold.

It’s also wise to delete the video after you watch it a few times. (You can always make more later!)  Even if you’re totally in love with your SO and think they’d never do anything to hurt you, a bad breakup can make the kindest person go a bit apeshit—so it’s good to make sure you’re on the same page about privacy.

The lesson here: if you both agree to delete the video after you watch it, you’re good to go. Press record, have sex, watch, delete, and repeat.

Set the stage.

Now that you’ve figured out the logistics, it’s time to get creative and have some fun! Do you want to tell a story or do you just want a video of you going at it? Will you be doing any roleplay? What props or costumes do you want in your film? Your video might involve lots of preparation or no preparation at all. It doesn’t have to be an elaborate production, it can be sexy to spontaneously suggest making a DIY porno with your partner. As long as you have a phone or laptop with video capabilities, you’re ready for action.

Here are some of the most crucial elements for your homemade sex tape:

Find your mood lighting.

Make sure you have enough lighting that you can see everything you want to see (breasts, butts, penis, etc.). Do some test shots before you get started. You can always bring lamps into the room to help build the ambiance. The better the lighting, the better the sex will look. Lighting can take your film from Kim K to Erika Lust status, so get that mood lighting going.

Get the lingerie ready.

Great films are all about building anticipation. Start out the video partially dressed and slowly (or quickly) undress for the camera. You might even want to do a striptease for your partner. Wear your cutest bra and panties—they don’t even have to be fancy.

Sometimes it’s even hotter if you wear plain boy shorts and a simple bra. Knee-high socks or thigh high stockings are also incredibly sexy and can draw attention to your beautiful legs if your partner is into that sort of thing.

Let go.

If you’re self-conscious about your body and your facial expressions, it’s going to show.  Focus more on how your body feels during sex and less on what your body looks like. Trust me, your O-face is going to look better if you’re not trying to fight it. If you need extra help getting into the mood, look for ways to help you relax and drop into your body.

Feel yourself.

Don’t be afraid to let loose. After all, your homemade sex tape is going to be a snooze-fest if your partner is going all out and you’re just laying there like a starfish. Switch up sex positions, moan when you feel good, and play with your partner’s body. Light some massage candles for atmosphere and action. Drop warm luxurious massage oil on your partner and rub them all over. Then switch.

Explore the dirty talk.

Throw in some saucy dialogue by describing what you’re feeling or what you want your partner to do to you. Play with power dynamics of domination and submission with some light bondage, perhaps. (Bondage tape is so easy to use and no fuss for the camera.)

Overall message? Don’t stress too much. If you get into the sex, this video is going to be hot—just so long as it stays private.