How To Have A Solo Date Night

woman having a solo date in a porcelain tup with a glass of wine in her hand

When thinking about dating and relationships, there’s a lot of focus on your partner. But it’s important to remember to take care of yourself, as well! What better way to take care of yourself, than to take yourself on a solo date?

There are a million reasons why you might be unable to go out on a date. Even if you live with a significant other, a little me time is always a good idea, especially if you’re feeling cooped up. So make a night of it, and take yourself on a solo date.

Here are some tips and ideas for making the most of your me-time!

Setting The Scene


Spending time with yourself means carving out some private time! Turn off your phone, let important people know that you’re going off the grid, and ask your family or roommates for some private time and private space. If you live in a small space with others, asking in advance and scheduling some time alone is a great plan.


Light some candles, burn some incense and play some soothing music to change up your space with some ambience. It’s time to relax that sexy body of yours, and atmosphere is everything. Setting the tone for your night is just as important as carving out some time for you, so draw those blinds, pull out those candles, and get down with yourself! You deserve it.


Easier said than done, I know. A big part of relaxing your mind is relaxing your body, so take the time to work on those sore muscles. Give yourself a massage, do some relaxing yoga, or stretch it out. Get out the arinica and tiger balm if you need extra help: both are great aids for relaxing muscles. Pro-tip: If you have a magic wand, try ACTUALLY using it as a back massager! You never would have thought it, but it actually works great on other parts of your body.

Solo Date Activities

Treat yourself.

Do something nice for yourself! Go out and buy some flowers, splurge on ice cream, maybe just get a nicer brand of pasta than you usually buy. If you’re strapped for cash, up-cycle what you already have. Make yourself a nice robe out of an old sweater, wrap yourself in your nicest towel, pour that glass of wine, or take some extra time when preparing your dinner. Remember that spending time focusing on you, is a treat in and of itself. Anything you can do to make the night special is welcome.

Do your favorite thing.

Whether it’s reading a book, going for a walk, watching trash tv, or having a wine and paint night, tonight’s the night to do something you truly enjoy. Taking yourself on a date means that you and only you get to decide what’s on the agenda. So have no shame and do what makes you happy. If you’re at a loss for ideas, think about what you would want to do on a date with another person, and go do it solo! Wining and dining yourself is always a great idea, especially in the comfort of your own home.

Have a spa night.

My favorite solo date night is to have a solo spa night. It’s free, relaxing and if you don’t have a lot of private space, you can always lock that bathroom door. Draw yourself a warm bath or a hot shower and pamper that hot bod. Use your fanciest soap, take time with that loofa, and pull out that bath bomb if you’ve got it. You can even make a super cheap sugar scrub from scratch if you don’t have anything special. If you want to take it to the next level, look up a youtube tutorial and do a self pedicure or manicure. Cover yourself in lotion. Put on that sheet mask. This is your night to pamper your favorite person: you!


Take some time to check in with you, by writing down your feelings. If you’re at a loss for words, try writing a list of all the things you like about yourself, or a love note addressed to you. It may sound hokey, but putting some positivity and self love in writing is a great way to affirm all the things you like about your hot date. 


A solo date should always end in some solo love. Whether you went out into the world, or stayed at home for a relaxing night in, take some time to pleasure yourself and your hot bod. Try out your favorite toys, use lots of lube and get out that extra special vibrator, because tonight’s the night you pull out all the stops. Honestly, just masturbating for hours is a perfectly respectable solo date!

 *   *   *

We might not always put ourselves first, but taking time for you is as important now as ever. The more you care for and pamper yourself, the more energy you have to care for others, so take yourself on a solo date and pull out all the stops! You’ll thank yourself later. 


Tessa Skara is a writer and comedian. She is bravely bicoastal. She loves all things queer, including, but not limited to sex. Follow her on Instagram @tessafuckinskara.