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Role-Play

Getting bored with your typical sex routine? There’s a laundry list of ways you can mix it up, one of which is Role-Play. Role-playing is easy, fun, and lets you explore realities that are imaginary or sometimes even taboo. As humans, we role-play more often than we realize. Doing it in a sexual way allows us to expand our comfort zones, discover fantasies, and marry our mental arousal with our physical.

If you’re new to the game of grown-up pretending, here are some tips and ideas to make role-play your way to great sex. 

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Tantric Sex

You’ve likely heard the phrase “tantric sex,” but do you actually know what it means? Derived from the Sanskrit word for “woven together,” tantric sex is a practice with roots dating back over 5,000 years. It’s a practice that has been in existence since literally the beginning of time—the concepts of tantra were created by Hindu people and Buddhists as early as the beginning of the first millennium A.D. 

Tantra sexology is used as a metaphor for weaving together humanity and the divine in order to create a sacred sexual practice that teaches slow, non-orgasmic sexual intercourse. Sexual partners who try tantric sex often end up cultivating a greater sense of pleasure and a way of “dissolving into each other” at the end of their practice—making it a great way to bring couples together. 

Why Should I Give Tantric Sex A Try? 

The work of tantra pays off. Tantric sex experts believe that being intentional with the time you put into your sexual practice will result in a feeling of extreme bliss and enlightenment. The tantric practice promotes self-awareness and intentional action that can enhance your sexual experiences. It can also teach you balance and connection that will help you to build greater intimacy with your partner while cultivating a deeper awareness of your own body.

During sex, we too often lose sight of what we want out of the experience and do not question if we’re really enjoying ourselves or not. But tantra allows us to become fully present in the sexual moment, which can help us to feel new sensations in their entirety. If you struggle to let go of stress from the outside world during sex and concentrate on what is happening at the moment, it may be beneficial to give tantra a try.

How To Perform Tantric Sex

Since tantric sex is not goal-oriented, the trick to having an incredible and authentic tantric experience is to focus on making foreplay enjoyable until the experience ends naturally. The experience usually starts with eye contact and matching each other’s breathing. 

Tantra is all about keeping the energy flowing continuously through your body, so try to release any tension you feel that you may be holding before you begin your practice. Most tantra experts also recommend changing up your environment during your practice and not staying on a bed while performing tantric sex, as this may trigger the sleep button in your brain. 

Try lying down on the floor with your partner instead. Take your time leisurely exploring their body and touching each other. Experiment with a variety of touches—from firm massage to gentle strokes. Most importantly, take time to focus on your breathing. If your mind begins to wander during this practice, simply focus on inhaling and exhaling in time with your partner in order to recenter your mind and body. 

If you still find you can’t last beyond ten minutes, don’t give up, and don’t be too hard on yourself! Tantric sex takes time to master because of our deeply ingrained, Western views of how sex should be. 

The key here is to let go of expectation and focus on the journey rather than an end goal. We have been trained to expect sex to have a beginning, middle, and end. With practice, you can begin to let go of this mindset and stop focusing your energy on an obvious conclusion. This will also allow for you to be able to control your body so that you can further delay climax and experience more intense orgasms—talk about a win-win situation. 

If you’re interested in trying out tantric sex practices with your partner, start an open dialogue and share why you find it interesting. The act of tantric sex is extremely rewarding and a beautiful opportunity to get further in touch with your own sexual nature, bringing you closer to both your partner and yourself. 

Sami Harris is a freelance writer and social media consultant born and raised in Orange County, California. She is currently the written editor for Jawbreaker Zine, has bylines in Pure Nowhere, Clover Letter, Adolescent Content, Uniquely Aligned, Also Cool Mag, Lithium Magazine, Always In A Funk, and Odyssey Online, and work forthcoming in Sumou Mag and Polemical Zine.

foreplay bedroom blog sex with emilyWhen you think of foreplay, do you think touching, kissing, massaging? And do you think that happens in the bedroom as simply a perfunctory “warmup” for the big deed? Like, say, 10 minutes worth?

Well, think again. Foreplay isn’t just for the bedroom. In fact, it can be a geographically diverse series of events! It should even start wayyyy before sex.

This article will help you prime yourself and your partner for a sexy night. Here are some things you can do to make the leading up to sex (almost) as good as the sex itself.

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hand job blog sex with emilyGiven the current global health situation, if you’ve got a partner at home, chances are you’ve got tons of time on your hands to have sex. Oral and intercourse are awesome, but we can forget that there’s fun to be had with just a hand job.

Hand jobs are great for many reasons. They’re an erotic way to feel in control as you make your lover orgasm. They’re fun and easy to do in different locations, and they also have a sexy nostalgia to them.

Now let’s kick it old school and get down with some handsy basics. 

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Valentine's blog sex with emilyRight after the New Year’s parties but before all of the President’s Day mattress deals sits the notorious occasion of Valentine’s Day. 

A festival of love, affection… And often totally freaking out about what to do, where to go and how to act with one another.

An entire holiday dedicated to love? That’s something we at SWE, can get down with. So here’s a mix of our favorite V-Day-themed blogs and podcasts.

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Dear Emily,habit blog sex with emily

I’m very open-minded sexually, but I have a hard time accepting my boyfriend’s porn habit.

We have a great sex life and try new things, but he still watches porn. I can’t help wondering…aren’t I enough? Is he comparing me to these women? Is that how he wants me to act? It isn’t fair for me to ask him to stop, so how can I get used to it? Please help!

Janine, 27, Iowa

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candle blog sex with emilyA lit candle in the bedroom is useful to create a sexy and dramatic mood for getting it on. But did you also know that a massage candle can be the best sex toy you never thought of?

As Hanukkah is approaching, get in the holiday spirit by not only lighting the Menorah, but also lighting up your bedroom play with a sensual massage and some “candle play”.

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