Let’s be honest: Valentine’s Day has a reputation. It’s the one day a year that comes with a full syllabus, flowers, dinner, sex, romance, all executed flawlessly or you’ve somehow “failed.” No pressure.
This year, we’re opting out of the performance and opting into something way more interesting: connection. The kind that actually feels good in your body, not the kind you stress about in your head.
This gift guide is for anyone who’s ever wondered why desire doesn’t magically turn on just because it’s February 14th. It’s filled with tools and experiences that support real intimacy.
Slowing down, getting curious, communicating better, and remembering that pleasure isn’t something you force, it’s something you create.
Whether you’re partnered, single, dating, or happily protecting your peace, these picks are about building sexual intelligence : knowing yourself, feeling safe in your body, and letting pleasure unfold without needing a five-star review at the end of the night.
Because the sexiest Valentine’s plan is not perfection, it’s actually enjoying yourself.
Okay enough chat! Let’s get to the good stuff!
Valentine’s Isn’t About Romance, It’s About Connection
Forget the checklist. This is about slowing down, tuning in, and choosing experiences that help you actually feel close, not just look like it.
Airbnb or a Weekend Getaway
New surroundings interrupt routine and wake up your senses in the best way. When your nervous system relaxes, connection feels easier and more natural. A change of scenery creates novelty, and novelty is one of the biggest drivers of desire.
Canyon Ranch
Give a gift that goes deeper than flowers or dinner plans. Canyon Ranch supports deep rest, nervous system regulation, and full-body wellness so intimacy feels natural, grounded, and alive. When the body feels cared for, connection and desire follow with ease.
Arya App (Couples or Friends)
Guided prompts help you talk about the things that actually matter, without it feeling heavy or awkward. These conversations build emotional safety, which is the foundation of satisfying intimacy. Emotional intimacy is still intimacy, and often the most powerful kind.
A Thoughtful Dinner Out
Choose a place where conversation flows and nobody’s rushing. Feeling relaxed together is way sexier than trying to impress. When you feel heard and seen, your body naturally opens up.
Your Relationship Status Is Not a Diagnosis
Valentine’s energy can bring up comparison, pressure, or a lot of “shoulds.” These picks support grounding, self-connection, and ease — no relationship label required. Intimacy starts with how you relate to yourself.
Bumble For Friends
lowers stress, builds emotional resilience, and creates a sense of safety in the body. That’s why prioritizing connection is such a powerful Valentine’s Day gift to yourself. When you feel safe, supported, and grounded, intimacy unfolds with far more ease.
Womanizer Duo 2
Designed for both solo and partnered pleasure, without pressure or performance. Dual stimulation lets arousal build organically, keeping the focus on connection rather than outcomes. When pleasure feels relaxed and effortless, intimacy becomes the experience itself.
Cyklar Fragrance or Body Products
Scent speaks directly to the nervous system and emotional brain, making it one of the simplest ways to feel grounded, sensual, and fully present. It invites you back into your body and into the moment. Feeling good in your own skin is one of the most intimate forms of self-connection, and the foundation of any deeper connection with someone else.
SmartSX (Free Month)
Guided reflection and expert insight to help you better understand your desire. It’s less about fixing anything and more about learning how your body and mind truly work together. Think of it as meaningful support for your sex life, not another thing to optimize, but a way to feel more connected, curious, and present.
Insight Timer
Insight Timer offers breathwork and meditation that help you slow down and soften out of your head. These practices support nervous system regulation, creating the safety that allows pleasure to unfold naturally. A regulated body makes space for deeper desire, presence, and connection.
Desire Is Created, Not Forced
Desire doesn’t bloom under pressure, deadlines, or expectations. It opens in moments of safety, relaxation, and feeling at home in your own skin. These tools help create the kind of environment where pleasure feels natural, connected, and ready to unfold.
CERE Enchantment Gel
This gel is the one everyone reaches for. Whether you’re using it solo or with a partner, this award-winning formula is designed to enhance arousal, warmth, and overall sensation. I love that this gel is developed by physicians and backed by research. It combines L-arginine and L-citrulline to support healthy blood flow and sensitivity, and chamomile to help soothe and relax the body. It’s soooo elegant, and body-safe, it’s a go-to essential for your V-Day (or any day!) ritual.
Fleur du Mal Sleepwear or Lingerie
Soft, luxurious pieces designed to feel good on your body first, and look beautiful second. When comfort comes first, confidence follows effortlessly. And confidence is one of the most attractive things you can wear.
VIIA Gummies
Plant-based gummies designed to support calm, mood, and stress balance. Since stress is one of the biggest blockers of desire, softening that edge makes a meaningful difference. When tension eases, there’s more space for pleasure, connection, and presence.
Common Confidential Massage Butter
Warm, intentional touch without an agenda invites the body to soften and relax. Massage creates presence, safety, and emotional closeness before anything else. When touch feels nurturing and unhurried, desire tends to arise naturally.
Make sure to use SEXWITHEMILY for 15% off!
Dame Massage Candle
A candle that melts into massage oil sets the mood without needing words. It creates a slow, sensual ritual the nervous system responds to immediately. Sometimes the most meaningful intimacy begins with taking your time.
The Foreplay Everyone Skips
Foreplay begins long before touch. It starts with feeling safe, seen, and emotionally connected. When curiosity replaces pressure, the body relaxes and intimacy feels natural, unforced, and deeply romantic.
Naughty Gift Sets
Playful kits designed to spark exploration without awkwardness or expectations. They introduce novelty and lightness, helping the nervous system stay open, curious, and connected. When play leads the way, pleasure feels more natural and less pressured.
Bellesa Ethical Porn Subscription
Erotic content grounded in consent, real pleasure, and diverse bodies. It encourages a healthier, more expansive relationship with desire and fantasy, without unrealistic scripts. What you engage with shapes how your body learns to feel, respond, and connect.
Conversation prompts designed to invite emotional closeness and gentle vulnerability. They help you discover new layers of each other in a way that feels safe, intimate, and engaging. Sometimes the most powerful foreplay is simply feeling truly seen and heard.
Your Nervous System Is Your Sex Organ
When the body is stressed, desire has a hard time showing up, no matter how strong the intention. A regulated nervous system creates the safety needed to feel present, open, and connected. These tools support the body first, so intimacy feels natural, not forced.
Normatec Elite Hips
Compression therapy that gently releases tension and supports circulation. When the body feels held, relaxed, and cared for, intimacy becomes easier to access. Sometimes the most powerful aphrodisiac is simply feeling deeply at ease in your own body.
Morning Lift Mushroom
A gentle way to support focus and energy without overstimulating your system. A steadier, calmer baseline makes it easier to stay present with yourself and with your partner. When balance comes first, desire feels more natural and sustainable.
Exercise
Movement helps release stress and increase feel-good brain chemistry. When your body feels alive, capable, and energized, it becomes more open to connection. Pleasure and movement have always been deeply intertwined.
Womaness Daily V Soothe
Designed to support vaginal comfort, hydration, and tissue health. When your body feels cared for and at ease, pleasure feels safer and more sustainable. Physical comfort is one of the quiet foundations of desire.
How to Ask for What You Want (Without Killing the Mood)
Clear communication creates emotional safety, and emotional safety is what deepens intimacy. When you can express your needs without fear or self-consciousness, the body naturally relaxes. Desire thrives in spaces where honesty feels loving, not risky.
Emily’s 1:1 Coaching
Personalized support around desire, communication, and confidence. This private space invites honest exploration without shame or pressure. When you feel truly understood, the way you show up in intimacy naturally begins to shift.
YNM List
A simple, intimate tool every couple can use to express needs, boundaries, curiosities, and desires. It turns uncertainty into clarity and opens space for honest, pressure-free conversations. When communication feels safe, connection naturally deepens.
OhMiBod Foxy Panty vibe
Discreet, wearable, and designed for playful connection. It creates shared moments that feel spontaneous, intimate, and fun rather than planned. When things feel light and exciting, the body stays more open to pleasure and closeness.
Bathmate- HydroXtreme
Designed to support confidence and heightened physical awareness. Feeling good in your body shapes how safe, open, and relaxed you feel in intimacy. When confidence is embodied, desire flows more naturally.
Promescent
Valentine’s Day is about connection, not pressure, and this supports exactly that. By reducing performance anxiety and increasing comfort, it helps the nervous system relax so intimacy feels present and shared. When pressure fades, couples can focus on closeness, pleasure, and enjoying each other in the moment.
Self-Pleasure Is a Relationship Skill
Knowing your body is one of the most loving things you can bring into a relationship. When you understand what feels good, what feels neutral, and what doesn’t work for you, sharing becomes easier and more honest. Pleasure literacy builds confidence, emotional safety, and deeper intimacy in every connection.
LELO TIANI 3
A beautifully designed wearable for couples that supports shared pleasure and subtle stimulation. It allows sensation and connection to build naturally, without interrupting the moment. When pleasure feels seamless, it’s easier to stay present, intimate, and emotionally connected.
Make sure to use code SWE20 for 20 % off!
Shop.sexwithemily.com Gift Card
A thoughtful way to let them choose what supports their pleasure, curiosity, and self-connection. Autonomy builds trust, and trust deepens intimacy. Giving choice is one of the most caring and quietly romantic gifts you can offer.
LELO F2S
Deep, resonant stimulation designed for consistent, satisfying pleasure. When pleasure feels accessible and dependable, confidence naturally grows. Feeling confident in your body changes how you show up in intimacy, with more presence, ease, and connection.
The Myth of the Perfect Valentine’s Night
There’s no gold star for doing it “right.” Real intimacy is relaxed, imperfect, and human, not scripted or cinematic. The most meaningful moments often happen when expectations soften and presence leads the way.
Lola Blankets
Weighted comfort designed to help the body feel safe, calm, and held. When the nervous system softens, closeness and connection come more naturally. Aftercare is part of intimacy, and one of the most loving gifts you can offer.
Beducated
Sex education designed to deepen real-life connection, not overwhelm it. Learning together builds confidence, curiosity, and trust while gently dissolving shame. Knowledge opens doors to more choice, more understanding, and more meaningful intimacy.
See a Movie and Get Dinner
A classic Valentine’s plan that centers on shared presence, not performance. Simple moments of togetherness often create the deepest connection. Sometimes intimacy is just enjoying each other’s company, exactly as you are.
A playful way to explore mood, sensation, and curiosity together. Not magic potions, but gentle invitations back into the body and the moment. Keeping things light and experimental helps desire feel open, flexible, and fun.
Mood-supporting drinks designed to enhance connection without alcohol or hangovers. They help you stay present, emotionally clear, and attuned to the moment. Intimacy tends to feel richer when awareness and presence stay intact.
An approachable, organic French red that’s smooth, velvety, and easy to love. Light-to-medium bodied with fresh, fruit-forward notes, it’s perfect for slow dinners or lingering conversations.
When Libidos Don’t Match
Different desire levels are a natural part of long-term connection. Intimacy doesn’t vanish just because timing or arousal doesn’t always align. These tools help couples stay emotionally close and connected, even as desire ebbs and flows.
Vyleesi
Low libido? No problem. You deserve a Valentine’s Day full of desire! Vylessi is the only FDA-approved peptide for low libido. Make sure to check them out at vyleesi.com!Vyleesi is a prescription medicine used to treat hypoactive (low) sexual desire disorder (HSDD) in women who have not gone through menopause, who have not had problems with low sexual desire in the past, and who have low sexual desire no matter the type of sexual activity, the situation, or the sexual partner. Women with HSDD have low sexual desire that is troubling to them. Their low sexual desire is not due to:
• a medical or mental health problem
• problems in the relationship
• medicine or other drug use
Vyleesi is not for the treatment of HSDD in women who have gone through menopause
or in men. Vyleesi is not for use to improve sexual performance. VYLEESI is not for use
in children.
Women should not use Vyleesi if they have:
• high blood pressure that is not controlled (uncontrolled hypertension)
• known heart (cardiovascular) disease
Most common adverse reactions are nausea, flushing, injection site reactions,
headache, and vomiting.
SWE Podcast: Lasting Longer & Low Libido
Honest conversations about sex, bodies, and relationships that invite understanding rather than judgment. Hearing real stories helps reduce shame and normalize difference. Feeling seen and understood is one of the most meaningful forms of intimacy.
SOLARAY Libido her Life Stages
Thoughtfully formulated to support energy, mood, and balance from the inside out. Desire is shaped by sleep, stress, hormones, and overall well-being. When you feel well in your body, wanting more comes naturally.
An arousal-supporting oil designed to enhance touch and emotional closeness. Sensory rituals help the body soften into a receptive, relaxed state. Sometimes the most meaningful connection begins with simple, intentional presence.
Pleasure Is a Wellness Practice
Pleasure isn’t indulgent. It’s an essential part of emotional and physical well-being. Supporting mood, confidence, nervous system balance, and self-trust, feeling good in your body is one of the most loving forms of care.
WISP OMG! Cream
Topical support for enhanced sensation and responsiveness. Simple, effective, and easy to integrate into intimacy. Small supports can make a big difference in comfort and pleasure.
GainsWaive
Science-backed support for blood flow and sexual function, designed to help the body respond more naturally to arousal. When physical response feels easier and more reliable, confidence follows. Feeling confident in your body creates space for deeper connection and more relaxed intimacy.
FirmTech
Wearable support designed for comfort, stamina, and confidence. It helps reduce self-monitoring and performance anxiety, so your body can stay present instead of stuck in your head. Less stress creates more room for sensation, connection, and genuine enjoyment.
Therasage
Infrared therapy supports deep relaxation, circulation, and nervous system balance. Rest and recovery are quiet but essential parts of intimacy, even if we don’t always name them that way. When the body feels calm and regulated, it becomes far more open to touch, closeness, and pleasure.
Build Your Ideal Date Nights
Connection lives in the details, not the drama. Thoughtful intention creates safety, and safety allows intimacy to deepen and last. These small rituals turn ordinary moments into meaningful ones by helping you slow down and truly be with each other.
Soft, plush towels designed for comfort and tender aftercare moments. They help the body stay relaxed and grounded instead of rushing back into daily mode. Feeling physically cared for deepens emotional closeness and connection.
A functional fragrance designed to support calm, focus, and emotional balance. Scent reaches the nervous system faster than thought, gently shifting mood and presence. The right fragrance can bring you back into your body and into the moment, instantly.
Flowers
Still undefeated for a reason. Flowers communicate care, attention, and thoughtfulness without needing a single word. Simple gestures often carry the most emotional weight.
At first glance, they look like a chic bracelet you’d wear out to dinner. Then you realize they’re also an invitation. The ICON Cuffs blend beauty and intimacy in a way that feels playful, intentional, and deeply connected. They’re a great Valentine’s gift because they create a moment, not just an accessory, one that invites trust, curiosity, and shared exploration long after the night is over.
Elegant, seamless fitted sheet and pillow covers made from ultra-smooth, liquid-velvet fabric that feels incredible on the skin. They’re safe for massage oils, fully machine washable, and designed to turn your bed into a space for relaxation, touch, and sensory connection. Think comfort first, pleasure second, and a bedroom that actually invites you to slow down and stay awhile.
Tools Don’t Fix Sex — They Support It
Thoughtfully chosen tools can deepen sensation, confidence, and presence in the body. They help create ease and curiosity, making pleasure feel more accessible and natural. When support meets emotional connection, intimacy becomes more playful, relaxed, and shared.
Magic Wand
A timeless favorite for deep, consistent stimulation. Reliable pleasure builds confidence and helps the body feel safe and supported in sensation. When you trust what feels good, it becomes easier to relax, stay present, and enjoy the moment together.
Penis Owner: We-Vibe Pivot Cock Ring
Wearable support designed to enhance shared pleasure and sustained connection. It helps sensation build naturally, without pressure or overthinking. When intimacy feels collaborative, presence and enjoyment come more easily.
Vulva Owner: Iroha+ Kushi Handheld Vibe
Gentle, thoughtfully designed stimulation for slow, mindful pleasure. Soft touch builds body awareness and deepens sensitivity. When you stay present in your body, pleasure feels more intimate, connected, and alive.
The Sexiest Gift Is Sleep
Rest supports hormones, mood, energy, and emotional balance. When the nervous system is regulated, the body becomes more open to pleasure and connection. Sleep isn’t just recovery, it’s the foundation for feeling present, receptive, and truly alive in intimacy.
Essentia Mattresses and Sheets
Supportive sleep designed for physical alignment and nervous system balance. Deep, quality rest improves emotional availability, mood, and resilience. A rested body feels more open, connected, and ready for intimacy.
Let me sleep Womaness
Sleep support designed for women’s bodies and natural hormonal rhythms. Better rest helps reduce stress, irritability, and emotional overwhelm. When the body feels truly rested, intimacy feels easier, softer, and more available.
Timeline Mitopure Gummies
Cellular energy support designed to enhance long-term vitality and recovery. Feeling energized from the inside shapes how you show up emotionally and physically in connection. When exhaustion fades, desire has room to return.
Lunya Vday
Luxury sleep sets that turn rest into a ritual of care. When you feel comfortable, soft, and relaxed in bed, attraction and intimacy feel more natural. Feeling good in bed counts, even when sleep is the goal.
Choose Connection Over Perfection
The most meaningful gift isn’t what you buy, it’s how you show up. Presence, curiosity, and genuine care create intimacy that lasts far beyond one day. Perfection is optional, but connection is what truly makes Valentine’s Day meaningful.
Pleasure Planner for the year
A way to prioritize intimacy with intention instead of leaving it to chance. Gentle consistency builds emotional safety, anticipation, and ease. Desire tends to grow wherever attention is lovingly placed.
Do a Vision Board for Your Relationship
Shared dreams bring emotional alignment and a sense of moving forward together. When you feel on the same team, trust deepens and attraction follows naturally. Emotional alignment makes physical intimacy feel easier, safer, and more connected.
Sex IQ quiz, read the article and take the quiz
Self-knowledge changes everything. Understanding your patterns helps you communicate more clearly and with less shame, which makes intimacy feel safer and more natural. When you know how your desire works, you stop guessing and start choosing connection on purpose.
This isn’t about labeling yourself or getting a “score,” it’s about building awareness. Awareness creates agency, and agency creates better sex.
Quality time with your partner, spending time together, no phones, walking in nature, cookware, go to a vintage store
Uninterrupted presence builds emotional safety and nervous system regulation in a way nothing else can. Walking, cooking, wandering, or just being together without distraction allows your body to relax and your attention to deepen. Real intimacy grows in these quiet, ordinary moments.
Putting the phone away sends a powerful message: you matter more than anything else right now. And feeling chosen is one of the most attractive feelings there is.
Before the chocolates melt and the candles get lit, here’s your gentle reminder: there is no “right” gift for Valentine’s Day. The best ones aren’t about price tags, trends, or getting it perfect. They’re about how something feels in the body and what it makes possible between you and your partner.
A gift can be an invitation. To slow down. To laugh. To touch with more intention. To feel seen. And sometimes, the most meaningful part isn’t the thing itself—it’s the conversation, the curiosity, and the permission to explore what you actually enjoy together.
So take what resonates. Leave the rest. And remember, connection doesn’t happen because you bought the right item. It happens when you show up with presence, playfulness, and a willingness to listen—to your partner and to yourself.
Whether you’re celebrating with someone, dating yourself, or somewhere in between, pleasure is allowed to be simple. Desire gets to be unrushed. And Valentine’s Day gets to feel good on your terms.
Happy Valentine’s Day.
You deserve connection that feels safe, real, and deeply satisfying.
