Raise your hand if you check any of the following when dating someone new.
- astrological sign
- Venmo history
Just kidding about that last one (kind of), but here’s one more metric to add to your research: their favorite sex position.
Honing in on their go-to sex moves isn’t the Magic 8 ball for what kind of person they are. But it can provide some useful data…and that goes for you and your preferred positions, too.
So let’s have some fun, and talk about what each of these positions might tell us. What’s your flavor of love (-making)? And what’s theirs? Read on for clues.
What it is: Face-to-face, one person on top, one person on bottom. The classic.
What it says about you: You just looove familiarity. Or intimacy. Or both! In a 2021 sex survey spearheaded by Sex With Emily fan fave Dr. Evan Goldstein, 21% of folks who identified as straight or bisexual said that missionary was their favorite position. So it’s popular, but probably because we’ve seen it a lot.
If Missionary is your #1 position, it could also be a sign that you’re intimidated to try something new…but once you do, you might find that the sheer novelty of it arouses your brain in a sexy way.
Reverse Cowgirl (or Cowboy)
What it is: One person on bottom, the other on top, but turned around backwards.
What it says about you: That you enjoy a nice booty view (if you’re on bottom), that you enjoy showing off the booty (if you’re on top), and possibly…that you find it easier to let go erotically-speaking, if you’re not face-to-face. Nothing wrong with that! But if you miss the connection, a few over-the-shoulder glances go a long way.
For all the hype about reverse cowgirl/boy, only 7% of straight couples in the same survey said it was their fave – and for bi and gay/lesbian couples, this position didn’t even crack the top 5. So if you like this one, you also may be a bit of a maverick.
What it is: Receiving partner on all fours, facing away from their partner; giving partner thrusting from behind.
What it says about you: That you enjoy deep penetration (to hit the prostate or g-spot), and that you enjoy a little power play, you kinky minx.
Doggy style suggests sub/dom dynamics that are super stimulating, so if that speaks to you, you’re not alone! It’s the #1 fave sex position for straight couples, and the #2 fave position for bi and gay/lesbian couples. So if you’re into this one, join the club: turns out, most of us are doggy style fans.
What it is: You’re both sitting, facing each other; the receiving partner is sitting in the giver’s lap.
What it says about you: That you’re OK with intimacy and eye contact, for one. Your eyeballs are really close! But it also provides deep stimulation that probably feels really good. It’s slightly more athletic than horizontal positions, and if you’re a vulva owner who likes to touch herself while it’s happening, you either know what you need to achieve orgasm (clitoral stimulation), or, you’ve got an exhibitionist streak.
What it is: You’re lying on your sides, with the receiver facing away from their partner, and the giver penetrating from behind.
What it says about you: That you like to be comfy, babee. Spooning is a cuddly position, and allows both people to lie down. Which could also mean you’re tired? (No shame.) In fact, kudos to you for finding a position that’s simultaneously sexy and restful. This move is also a popular choice for pregnant bodies, because a) as we’ve established, restful and b) allows room for the tummy. Win win.
Girl/Boy On Top
What it is: Exactly what it sounds like: missionary, but the top person is sitting up. Think “forward cowgirl/boy.”
What it says about you: If you’re on bottom, you like that show. And who wouldn’t? Watching your partner control the pace and depth of their pleasure is hot as hell. If you’re on top, it means you’re confident taking charge, that you’re happy to provide a visual, and that you probably don’t fake orgasms. Why? Because in this position, it’s pretty easy to tell if you’re doing that. And the wonderful news is, there’s lots of room here to involve fingers or toys for added stimulation. Invite them to the party.
Fave sex moves can’t tell us everything – but they do give us hints, about the energy we crave in bed, the type of person we want to be. We can take any behavior and give it an erotic charge, but when we examine our sexual habits, we can start to understand why we return to certain ones.
So which move on this list speaks to you? Next time you take your positions…see if you can approach them in an even deeper way.