Ask Emily: How Can I Rock At “Woman On Top”?

woman on top close up of head with brown hair in face blue sky in background
Dear Emily,

I like to consider myself a fairly sexually educated woman, but I have NO idea what to do when it comes to being on top during sex. The few times I have tried it, I felt so awkward that it ended up killing the mood. Now I’m worried that my inexperience will be obvious to my next partner…Are there any tips you can give me to help me get better at girl-on-top?

Thank you! 


*  *  *

Dear Angie,

Believe me when I say that you are not the first sexy lady to feel uncomfortable during Woman-On-Top. So many women admit to feeling insecure in this position. Sometimes it’s because they are insecure about the way they look, or just because they don’t know what to do once they’ve saddled up.

If you’ve been avoiding the woman on top position until now, you have definitely been missing out on something really great. Not only is it one of the more orgasmic positions for women, it also puts you in full control! No more jackhammer sex, where your guy completely misses your clitoris and G-Spot because he is thrusting away like the energizer bunny.

When you’re on top, you have complete control of speed and range of motion. You get to make sure he is hitting all the right spots, and that he is going at a pace that feels good for you. Since he doesn’t have the ability to pound away at his desired turbo pace, it usually makes the sexual encounter last longer too. Basically, it’s a win-win sex situation!

If this is an insecurity thing, let me clear something up for you real fast: The guy you are having sex with is lying there naked underneath you because he is already attracted to you. He is just happy that he gets to have sex with you. Whatever you’re trying to cover up, is not even on his radar. All he sees is the sexy naked woman on top of him, about to make his dreams come true.

Don’t sweat the small stuff! If you’re uncertain because you don’t think you know what to do, remember there is no exact science to being on top. The best way to learn is to climb on and see what feels best for you.

First, assume the position.

Try straddling your partner, with your knees on either side of his hips. Slowly lower yourself and ease him inside you.

If he’s lying down, you can either lean over him with your breasts lightly pressed against his chest or sit up and place your hands on his chest for balance.

A fun variant is if you’re both sitting up, you can press yourself chest to chest, wrap your hands around your partner’s body or place them on the back of a chair, couch or bed to use as leverage. If you really want to give your man a show, lean away from him and arch your back to give him a look at the good stuff. Trust me, he and his penis will both appreciate the view.

Now get moving.

In this position, you have multiple options for optimal pleasure. You can lightly bounce up and down, but my recommendation is to grind back and forth.  This puts the perfect amount of pressure on your clitoris to result in a pretty powerful orgasm.

You can also experiment with the “swivel & screw” maneuver by moving your hips in a circular motion while he tilts his hips up slightly.

Confidence is key!

Remember, a lack of confidence is a major killer of women’s sex drive. No matter what you are doing while on top, your partner is most-likely loving every minute of it. You don’t have to be able to ride him like a porn star to ensure that everyone is having an amazing time. It’s all about what makes sex feel the best for you!

Sex is about letting go and having fun, so go for it!



Originally posted on Patti Knows, Millionaire Matchmaker Patti Stanger’s Website: “How to Rock At ‘Woman On Top”.