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The vows of marriage state, “until death do us part,” that you love and accept each other for who you are, and that you respect that. However, does that mean we have to accept the ways they love us? When maybe… we want something else?
It can be hard to talk to our partners about the ways in which we want to be treated, held, touched. It’s not that they’ve loved you inadequately up until now, but you want them to know exactly what you need, and the only way to do that is to tell them. 
Unfortunately, your feedback may not always be perceived as eloquently as you intended. Sex Coach Pam Costa shares how you need to make your sex feedback sexy in her Down to There blog…

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Q: Dear Emily,

After being with a few guys, I’ve noticed that it doesn’t matter the size of a guy’s penis or where we’re having sex—whether it be the couch, floor, or bed—but if I’m on top of him, his penis is always slipping out! It’s usually when it’s getting good, and I probably get carried away, but my question is: Am I doing something wrong? And how do I stop it from slipping out?

Mandy, 27

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Q: DEAR EMILY,

My husband (age 33) and I have been married for two years, together
for three and a half. In the beginning sex was fun, passionate and frequent. Now it seems like my libido is non existent, and I’m perfectly happy having sex once or twice a week (or less). His libido is as high as ever; he wants it once or twice per day, and doesn’t really like masturbating (though he will when he’s desperate).

When we don’t have sex as often as he wants, he gets frustrated and very cranky, so I feel obliged to participate as frequently as possible, but sometimes I’m just plain tired or feel lazy. Sometimes I’ll just have sex with him even if I don’t want to, hoping that I can get aroused once we get going. Half the time this works and I orgasm, and the rest of the time I go through the motions that usually work, and nothing happens. It’s like I can’t get my brain into it no matter what! We have toys, we try new things and we do some foreplay (though I’m sure could always use more). This is extremely frustrating for both of us.

I used to be super horny in my teens and 20s, and now I could hardly care less. How can I get my brain to want more sex?Am I just getting old? (Just FYI: I did go off the pill about a year and half ago, if you think that’s a factor.)

Help!

-Jill, 36

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