Having The Best Sex

Let’s be honest. Most women are not having great sex. Most women are not even having good sex. I’m not making this up. I’ve talked to thousands of women who know their sex life could be better…

A lot of women admit they haven’t had the best sex of their lives- yet. Women often place the blame on men. But the truth is women need to have a greater understanding of how their bodies respond to pleasure.

Many women are taught to passively receive pleasure during sex. Masturbation is misconstrued as something “boys” do, completely taboo for young women. This double standard prevents women from finding out how much pleasure their body is designed to feel. Women are sold a fairytale since adolescence that, ‘Someday my prince will come and so will I.’  (Translation: Your prince will ride in on a white horse and give you mind-blowing orgasms). The reality is that women need to take responsibility for their own orgasm. If women don’t understand their own bodies, how the hell are men supposed to know what to do?

Women must explore their sexuality on their own before having great sex with a partner. Light some candles and fill up the tub. Create a masturbation playlist (I have one) and start touching yourself. Get a great waterproof vibrator like the Je Joue Mimi or the Jimmyjane Form 2.

Explore your clitoris and find out what gets you where you need to be. Is the left side of your clitoris extra sensitive? Do you prefer indirect clitoral stimulation? Do you like circular or up-and-down motions on your cliitoris? I tell women all the time to discover what works for their body and share this information with the people they sleep with.

My friend committed to 30 nights of masturbating. It took her 20 days to have an orgasm.  She was like, “why the hell is this taking so long?” But now she’s one of the most multi-orgasmic women I know because she took the time to explore her body and didn’t give up. It’s your body and your sex life. You have to do the work.

When having sex you need to communicate with your partner what feels good and what turns you on. Some men are super clueless when it comes to sex and women aren’t helping them with silent dissatisfaction.

Men need to ask women what they like. Try mutual masturbation so you can both learn how each others bodies work. Hopefully he’ll be amazed, relieved and ready to please. “Oh, that’s where her clitoris is. That’s what she likes.” Then you can have great sex. Perhaps for the first time ever.

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