Let’s talk about penises. As you probably know, penises are incredibly vulnerable to sensation—for better or worse. We’re focusing on the “better” as we share 10 penis sex tips designed to make your partner’s (or your own) nether regions feel amazing.
Keep in mind that this list is by no means comprehensive, nor will every tip work for every penis. The trick is to find ideas that work for you and the penis-owner in your life. And when trying new things, remember to ask for consent and check-in with your partner as you explore together.
Now then…who’s ready to play?
1. Play with penis rings.
It’s a common misconception that toys are purely for vulva-owners. I have good news for you: there are tons of toys out there, specifically designed for penis play. A nice entry-level option is the penis ring. When placed at the base of the penis, it applies pressure to the surrounding area, causing the blood vessels to constrict or tighten. This allows blood flow to leave the penis more slowly, AKA—longer and harder erections. (Oh, boy!)
There are even some penis rings out there that come with a “vibration” element, which can provide an added dose of pleasure for both the wearer and a vulva-owning partner. We’re especially fond of the Mio from Je Joue. the unique motor creates ultra-low-frequency vibrations, which feel like they travel further into the body than those from some other “buzzy” vibrating toys.
2. Practice edging.
It’s not unusual for penis-owners to occasionally experience bouts of “finishing too quickly,” or premature ejaculation. But—and this is a big but—there are things you can do to elongate playtime.
One way to keep the sexy times going is to practice edging. While playing with a penis, get your partner close to finishing—but don’t go all the way. Think of it as a 1-10 scale: if 10 is explosive orgasm, and 1 is asleep, you want to take them to a 7 or 8 level, then bring them back down to a 4 or 5…only to rev them back up again, to another tantalizing edge.
Keep this up for as long as they can handle it. Not only does it make the final finish that much hotter, but it can also help increase your partner’s stamina.
3. Utilize a delay spray.
Another idea is to bring in reinforcements, because listen – penises are sensitive, and that’s ok. But by applying a topical “delay spray,” penis-owners develop more control over their orgasms and aren’t so at the mercy of their nervous system. Here’s the deal: the penis is full of nerve endings (fun!), especially at the top where the glans and the frenulum are located. When the spray is applied to the penis, it helps those nerve endings be a little less reactive. One popular option is Promescent’s Delay Spray, which is absorbed into the nerve cells just below the skin, and basically slows down how quickly your nerve endings tell your body to orgasm. More fun for everyone!
4. Take away their hands.
Have you ever heard the phrase “forced receiving”? Despite the name, it’s a consensual act (very important), where you restrain your partner so that you can take your sweet time pleasuring them—and, it’s one of our favorite penis sex tips.
This can be especially electric if the penis owner in your life is more often the “dominant” one in bed — but when you force your partner (literally, because of the restraints) to receive, you’re giving them delicious physical sensations…while enjoying your position of power. (And hey, chances are, it’s hot for them to experience submission.)
To restrain your partner, you can use something around the house (like a bathrobe tie), or you can invest in some legit bondage tools. Beginners might consider bondage tape from Good Vibrations. It only sticks to itself, so it’s an easy and safe way to make sure your partner stays nice and restrained. More advanced folks might like to explore SportSheet’s Under-the-Bed Restraint Systems. It turns any bed into a bondage playground, and has loops for your partner’s arms and legs. They won’t be going anywhere.
5. Bring in the booty.
Not all penis-owners like things in their butt, but many do! Because penis owners have prostates, their anuses are filled with sensitive nerve endings, making it a fun place to explore (if both parties are consenting.) This can be done with a finger or a toy—just make sure you use lots of lube and follow the anal play essentials.
If butt stuff isn’t for you and your partner, there are still other ways to get your partner’s booty in the game. The next time you’re in missionary, grab your partner’s butt cheeks and pull them in deeper. Almost everyone wants to feel wanted (especially during sex) and grabbing your partner’s butt is a way to say, “I want all of you.”
6. Explore other erogenous zones.
Speaking of the butt, don’t forget about your partner’s myriad other erogenous zones! Often when we’re pleasuring a penis, we go straight for the shaft—which is totally fine, but there are so many other parts of the body that deserve attention. Some penis-owners love having their inner thighs teased, while others love their nipples toyed with right before orgasm. Some might like to be blindfolded and enjoy the anticipation of where your hand or mouth might travel on their body.
Remember that everyone has different erogenous zones. You can ask your partner what they like, or experiment, to learn how they respond.
7. Have a ball.
Now that we’re talking erogenous zones, let’s talk testicles. For many penis-owners, these are highly sensitive, highly pleasurable parts to play with—but, it’s not always intuitive how to approach them. Here’s a short menu of ideas to try:
- Cup them, and move your hands over them gently
- Blow on them, while providing oral sex
- Lick each softly, possibly sucking one into your mouth
The keyword here is “gentle,” as going at them too aggressively—or, twisting—can be super painful, even resulting in injury. As long as you’re checking in, and trying out one or each of these ideas slowly, these oft-neglected penis companions can yield tons of pleasure.
8. Turn up (or turn down) the heat.
Temperature play is a great way to bring some diversity to your sex game, awaken new sensations, and make the whole encounter more surprising (in a good way).
The next time you go down on your partner, try sipping on some hot water or tea right before getting started. Alternatively, you can suck on some ice and bring cooler sensations into the bedroom. Temperature play also isn’t limited to the genitals—trace an ice cube across your partner’s body, or use a hot wax massage candle. Remember: there’s no right or wrong here (unless your heat methods are scalding, so be safe). You’re simply giving your partner’s penis novel feelings to enjoy, which can heighten overall excitement.
9. Make oral into dessert with flavored lube.
For some folks, flavored lube triggers memories of shady sex shops or overly-sweet oral sex experiences. But trust us when we say that’s not the case for all flavored lubes. In fact, these days, some are downright delicious—and make for an incredible penis sex tip.
Like anything in life, you’ve got to go for quality products in order to yield maximum success. Take System Jo for example; one of our go-to sexual accessories, System Jo’s lubes actually taste good. (Like, we might want to put them on ice cream, they taste so good.) Flavors include everything from Tiramisu to Creme Brulee to Mint Chocolate Chip, and they seriously taste just like the sweet treats they’re trying to replicate. Simply slather it on, and enjoy a dessert that’s yummy for both of you. Just remember that flavored lube is only intended for oral, so to keep things easy-breezy and infection-free, leave it out of any orifices.
10. Give them a show.
From tactile to taste, we’ve discussed lots of sensory methods for penis sex tips. Now, let’s focus on the visuals.
Mutual masturbation is a psychologically hot way to turn on a penis-owner, even if it seems – at first – somewhat indirect. Why? Because watching a partner touch themselves is both super intimate, and, a way for each of you to show off your inner voyeur (and exhibitionist).
We also love role play, as it allows each of you to dabble with power… but also? As far as visuals go, role play is a nice excuse to dress up. Just remember that role play is a spectrum, and you don’t have to jump into furry territory right off the bat. If role play is new for you, ask the penis owner in your life what would excite them to see — even if it’s just a suggestive pair of stockings.
That should be enough to get you started. Now go have fun with your favorite penis-owner. (And share this with a friend who might enjoy learning some new tips.)
Tolly Moseley is a writer and content contributor for Sex With Emily. She is a storyteller and board member for Bedpost Confessions, has written for The Atlantic and Salon, and loves listening to all the sex podcasts. When she’s not writing, she’s doing aerial.