Dear Emily,
I’m not with a partner at the moment but I masturbate regularly. I know how to make myself have an orgasm and after I do, I feel satisfied, but I want to go again. Trouble is, I have to take a break for about ten minutes because otherwise it will take me a very long time to orgasm again and I usually give up before then. I’ve always wanted to be able to have multiple orgasms (within a minute or two of each other) but I’ve never been able to. My question is, is there any way to train yourself to have multiple orgasms?
Love,
Anna
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Dear Anna,
I love a woman with goals! Especially goals that focus on your pleasure. While multiple orgasms might initially feel challenging, they’re totally possible. Follow these steps and you’ll be rolling in O’s in no time.
Practice patience.
Patience is one of your best tools when venturing out for multiple orgasms. Multiple O’s might not happen the first time you try, just like it took you some time to learn how to ride a bike. Acknowledging that it may take some time takes a bit of the pressure off.
Believe it or not, the biggest obstacle in achieving multiple orgasms is our brain. The more you focus on the orgasm, the less likely it could happen. Instead, take your time in exploring your body with your favorite masturbation techniques. After you finish your first orgasm, maybe implement a tried and true orgasm method and see if you can bring yourself to climax again. One to two minutes is a super quick refractory period (the amount of time in between orgasms), so I’d encourage you to be gentle on yourself if it takes a bit longer for that second orgasm to arrive. You never know what other erogenous zones you might stumble upon along the way.
Stay present.
One huge trick in achieving multiple orgasms is to stay connected to your body mentally and physically, even after the first orgasm. If you get overwhelmed or frustrated, you’ll likely shut down your body for more business. Instead, turn your focus to the sensations in your body and all the pleasure that you’re feeling.
One way to stay present and take yourself out of your head is to pay attention to your breath. Focus on each in and out breath and repeat. Breathing will relax your body and expand your pleasure potential. Deep breaths also flood your body with oxygen so your nervous system can do its job, increasing the amount of pleasure your brain can process.
Become cliterate.
The clitoris is the focal point of arousal for vulva-owners. The more you learn your way around your own pleasure points, the more pleasure you will feel—and the more likely you’ll be to experience multiple orgasms. After you reach your first orgasm, you might feel sensitive and need to pull back from direct touch.
Explore new techniques for stimulating yourself through indirect touches, like cupping or rubbing the area around the clitoris. Vary your position and the pressure and speed of your stroke. You probably only require a short break before the sensitivity goes away and you get back to your hot spot.
Feel the vibe.
A sex toy can come in handy here when you’re going for multiples, especially if you’re not 100% comfortable using just your hands. Start with a clitoral vibrator and try experimenting with what feels good as far as the positioning of the vibrator and the intensity level.
After you’ve knocked out your first orgasm, crank down the power and tease yourself for a bit; you can also use the vibrator to lightly trace over your nipples, your pelvic mound, and all over your body to find out what other areas respond to vibrations. Once you’ve had a chance to cool down, you can slowly crank up the power on your toy until you’re ready to go again.
It might take some time but stick with your exploration! Eventually, you’ll be amazed at how much pleasure your body will deliver.
xo,
Emily
