Ask Emily: My Partner’s Penis Is Too Big!

peg standing in front of a large shadow
Dear Emily,

I recently started seeing a guy, and although his penis is magnificent and huge, it’s an even huger problem. I’m a petite woman, and so far, sex with him has been very painful. I’ve managed to get through it multiple times, but I’m always incredibly sore afterward.

Is there anything I can do to lessen the pain, or is the fact his penis is too big something I’ll have to get used to?



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Hi Penelope,

Sex is not something you should want to just “get through.” You should enjoy it as much as possible! Although people are usually worried about their penis being too small, more people actually inquire about how to enjoy a larger-than-average member. Thankfully there are ways to maneuver around any penis size for a pleasurable experience, not a painful one.


I’m guessing that this guy doesn’t want to hurt you. If he’s worth dating at all, he wants you to feel good during sex. Let him know that sex has been painful because he’s just so big. That way, you can work together on making things more enjoyable for the both of you (and it’ll stroke his ego a bit too).

Prepare with foreplay.

If you already engage in foreplay before you have sex, double up on it. The more time spent on you and your pleasure, the more aroused you’ll be, and the more your body will be ready to brave his beautiful penis. Even if wetness isn’t your issue, adding extra lubrication like super silky Uberlube to the action for more comfort never hurts.

Find the right position.

Penetration with a large penis is all about shallow thrusting. Avoid positions like doggy-style that involve super deep penetration, and might cause the penis to hit your cervix, potentially causing pain. Instead, opt for positions like the C.A.T. or Coital Alignment Technique. This position provides a more shallow penetration and also facilitates clitoral stimulation so you can make sure you feel good during sex with well-endowed partners.

Hope these tips help you have more pleasurable sex!



Learn more about getting past a large member in my article for Glamour’s Smitten column, “HOW TO MAKE SEX GREAT IF YOUR PARTNER’S PENIS IS TOO BIG