Dear Emily,

I decided that it’s time for me to find my G-spot! Based on your suggestions, I have been trying to pay attention to my body during sex, and I noticed that the spot that feels really good each time my boyfriend thrusts in and out is actually located on the BACK wall of my vagina. I know you always say that the G-spot is located on the FRONT wall, so what am I feeling? Could my G-spot be in the wrong (or a different) place? How can I find the right spot to reach a G-spot orgasm?

Thanks,

Loyal Listener Lauren

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Dear Lauren,

I love that I’ve inspired you to go deep and I’m happy to help you discover more pleasure points. A number of things could be going on back there. What I can tell you is that your G-spot did not migrate and your body isn’t backwards. But before we get into what you need to do to make the “O” magic happen, let’s dismantle some myths surrounding the G-spot. 

First of all, the G-spot is really more of a “G-area.” The inside of your vagina has a number of erogenous zones that, when stimulated, can elicit a pleasurable response. There’s the “A-spot,” which is located on the front vaginal wall behind the belly button. Then there’s the “O-spot,” which might be the spot you’re hitting, a spongy tissue on the back wall of the vagina. These two areas, plus the nerves in your cervix, create a collection of erogenous zones that, when stimulated, can lead to orgasm. 

Contrary to what most people think, vaginal intercourse is not the easiest way to uncover the mystery of the G-area. Think of it like a tiny little boutique located on a bustling shopping street; You might totally miss it unless you know what to look for.  So before you start playing around with different sex positions, I think you should begin this journey exploring solo. That way, you can do a little recon, learn the lay of the land, then come back and report your findings to your eager-to-please partner.

To help guide you towards your first orgasmic destination, here’s a little tutorial…

Where is it?

The central point of the G-area is located about 2 inches inside the vagina, perched on the front vaginal wall. Although size and location may vary from vagina to vagina, you will be able to locate the “main point” of the G-spot by its ridged texture (similar to that of a walnut). When you become aroused, this lump of tissue swells and becomes more sensitive to the touch. That’s why I recommend treating yourself to a clitoral orgasm or two before you start your search. When you have an orgasm, blood rushes to the genitals, making the G-spot even easier to find.

How do I find it?

The best way to locate the G-area is by exploring with your fingers. Start with your palm facing up, then curl your fingers up and gently stroke the top of the vaginal wall. When you find the slightly ridged area, you might gasp a little or react with surprise. That means you’re on the right track.

Once you’ve located the area, try stroking it with your index and middle finger using a come-hither motion. Play around with different amounts of pressure until you find what works, then stick with it. 

How long will it take?

A G-spot orgasm usually requires continuous stimulation, so it might not happen right away. Just keep stroking in a steady rhythm and keep in mind that great orgasms usually take time. And if you start to feel like you have to pee, that just means it’s probably working, so keep it up. 

If you find that your fingers just aren’t dextrous enough to give your G-spot the consistent stimulation that it needs, you can always bring a sex toy into play. The We-Vibe Nova 2 is designed for G-spot pleasure; it mimics the motion of your fingers to stroke that sweet spot until you reach your grand orgasmic destination. No finger cramps necessary.

For some, having a G-area orgasm is easier when you bring clitoral stimulation into the mix. Combining an unfamiliar sensation (internal stimulation) with a familiar one (external vibrations) can help to relax your body and distract your mind from those pesky questions: Is it working? Am I feeling anything?

While every body is unique, our anatomy more or less remains the same. With a commitment to deep exploration—whether solo or with a pal—there’s always something new to discover. The good news is, you’re on your way to mastering one of your major pleasure spots; now you just have to practice, practice, practice. 

xx,

Emily