Have you ever wanted to last longer in bed? Ever get into the groove and then prematurely get to your destination? Just looking for a more intense orgasm? Then edging might be for you. Here are some tips and tricks to not only work on your stamina but to practice the art of edging, AKA keeping yourself at bay before the fireworks.
What is edging?
Sex can sometimes be like reading a good book. As you get to the end of it, you want to slow down and savor the final pages. Edging is the practice of coming close to orgasming but then stopping the body from doing so. Some people edge to prolong sexual activity. People with penises might edge to train themselves to control their ejaculation. Others still edge to achieve a more powerful and intense orgasm in the end. Everyone edges differently, but anyway you slice it, bringing yourself to the brink of an orgasm and backing off is a common and effective sexual exercise.
Step one of your edging journey is figuring out where your limit is. Either with a sexual partner or solo, take yourself to ‘the edge’ of orgasm and ask yourself what it feels like. What does your body do? What happens when you stop stimulation? There’s a whole other peak of orgasms waiting for you on the other side of the edge.
If you’re by yourself through this quarantine, you might be running out of interesting workouts to stay fit. So why not celebrate Masturbation May and exercise your orgasming abilities by edging? Simply masturbate in whatever way tickles your fancy, but just before you feel like going to blow, stop stimulating yourself! I know, it sounds torturous, but trust me it’s worth it, you only need to stop for a short period of time. Take a few minutes to check your emails, post something on Instagram, whatever you can do to take your mind off your recently cut off climax. After a little while, resume masturbation, but stop again before orgasming. Do this a few times and take inventory of how it makes you feel. Once you finally do allow yourself to come, you’ll be surprised at the power and intensity of the orgasm.
If you’re edging for orgasm training, remember that practice makes perfect. Just like how the human body can’t simply run a marathon on a whim, it’s also important to work up stamina. Set yourself a goal to masturbate for five minutes, ten minutes, half an hour. By making the action into a daily practice, you’ll condition your mind to release right on schedule vs. in an especially hot moment.
Edge with a partner.
Beyond the wonderful benefits of masturbatory edging, it can also be a fun tool to incorporate into sex with your partner. You can both visit the edge together.
If you want to get kinky in the bedroom, use edging as orgasm denial! It’s a perfect component for a BDSM dynamic. The dominant partner can take complete control over the submissive’s sexual pleasure and orgasm. Establish consent, then if you’re a dom, make your sub beg for their orgasm and deny it over and over again. If you’re engaging in an s/D relationship from afar, you can deliver edging assignments and rules via text and trade hot pics to prove your allegiance.
Tips for Tiptoeing the Edge
The most simple thing you can do to keep yourself from climaxing is just to breathe. By sending more blood circulation through deep breaths throughout your body, it’s like slowly opening a soda to let some pressure off. Activating and controlling your breath is the first step to controlling the rest of your body, all the way down to your genitals. Take some time, calm your mind, let your heart rate settle, and continue.
If you have a penis, one method you can use to edge is the pinch. If you feel yourself physically close to coming, firmly pinch the head of the penis and take a deep breath. Maintain the pinch for about half a minute. This resets the brain’s stimuli and helps lengthen sexual activity. Then get back at it and do it all over again.
Having a healthy diet and lifestyle is proven to enhance sexual stamina. Eat foods high in protein, vitamin-rich fruits and vegetables and stay away from processed foods. A side benefit to this is that your sexual juices will taste way more flavorful. Smoking and junk food are proven to lead to both impotence and premature ejaculation – a heartbreaking and oftentimes sex-ending combination. Cardio strength means more oxygen to ALL your appendages, which means better, longer, faster, stronger in the bedroom.
Start at Round 2
Sometimes, you just need to get the first O out of the way. After the cool-down period, your body will be less sensitive to the initial race to the finish line, and you’ll be able to edge you and your partner more effectively. Think of sex as an activity as a whole, not just a period to the end of a sentence.
A World Of Pure Imagination
Lastly, after your body is in physical shape for the task, work on controlling your mental boner. During hot heavy times, instead of focusing on NOT coming, focus on putting your attention somewhere else. Think the daily news, what your to-do list is, how your parents are doing. It might sound like the opposite of sexy, but the physical stimulation will be more than enough to keep you marching toward the finish line while easing the foot off the gas.
Above all else, know that coming without warning happens – and it only means that your partner did a great job. Don’t dwell on the quickness of your orgasm as a sexual deficiency. Follow these steps to help you get to a place where you are enjoying the ride you’re taking your partner on. Happy Edging!
Lumi Park is a writer, foodie, and Capricorn, from the cornfields of Ohio. He once won a NYC bartending award, a Brooklyn-wide comic book Trivia Bowl, and went to nationals two years in a year for the sport of jump roping. He is oddly not competitive.