Candles. Crystals. Meditation. Yoga. Prayer. Reading a new age, self-help book. All these things sound great, but how could they possibly be related to sex? You might be surprised. Let’s dive into the intersection between sex and spirituality.
For centuries, the Taoists and mystics, and other spiritual teachings have included sex as a spiritual practice. Things like tantra, meditation, spiritual sex, and “sex magic” have all explored the intersection between sexuality and spirituality.
Sex involves the interplay of energy, which inherently adds a spiritual element. You may not realize it, but you probably chose your life partners, friends-with-benefits, or casual encounters by sussing out their energy, whether it was conscious or not.
Knowing this, maybe it is time you did some “soul searching” about what sex means to your mind, body, and, well, soul. If you don’t really consider yourself a spiritual person or you think all of this is “woo woo,”—totally okay. Just try to keep an open mind and see if anything resonates with you.
What is “spirituality?”
What exactly does it mean to be spiritual? In modern times, spirituality tends to refer to not just participation in organized religion, but a broader feeling of being connected to “spirit” or “an encounter with one’s own inner dimension.” Basically, you can call it “spiritual” if you simply go inward and start noticing what is going on inside you.
In other words, start noticing your emotions, moods, thoughts, and experiences in and outside of the body. All of those things are happening when you have sex, so obviously there is a connection. In order to start getting down with your own sexy spiritual self, the first step is to really start to pay attention to your inner self.
Finding the Breath
If you find this confusing, you can simply start by noticing your breath. And asking yourself how you are feeling inside. Spirituality is really tapping into who you are. Sometimes that’s hard with the constant distractions in everyday life. That is why people like to meditate to quiet the mind.
The next time you’re having sex, take a second to notice you and your partner’s breath. Maybe even try to sync them! You might discover an even deeper connection than you imagined possible.
Sex as a Sacred Act
“It’s time we saw sex as the truly sacred art that it is. A deep meditation, a holy communion and a dance with the force of creation.” – Marcus Allen
That’s so deep! Some people believe sex is a sacred act, one that ties you to the cosmos and can affect your spiritual, mental, and even physical health. According to Psychology Today, sacredness “is a kind of awareness, not a function of ego, of the logical mind, but more of an intuitive or direct awareness of patterns running through everything around us.”
In order to combine a spiritual practice with sex, try creating a ritual the next time you decide to get down. You can try using crystals in your sex life, keeping them nearby to harness their energy. You can give yourself some silent affirmations before jumping into the act. Or you can just plain concentrate on whatever you believe to be the spiritual aspects of sex.
What makes sex sacred is focusing on your intent during sex. Practicing being present can make even the naughtiest sex sacred. And sacredness doesn’t mean “serious”—you can find sacredness in even the most playful sex. Some find that that the role-play in BDSM can be a spiritual act that can provide healing if done right.
Let’s take it up a notch. Have you ever thought about having sex on a galactic scale, as a way to connect to the cosmos and bring in things you want to manifest? Well, some believe this works! Get your groove on and manifesturbate your desires! Some people believe you can even cast spells with your orgasms.
I personally manifesturbate during breaks in my workday, using my Magic Wand. My day just flows better afterward, and I feel more open to new things.
“The beauty and wisdom of Tantra is that it enhances sexuality as a doorway to the ‘ecstatic mind of great bliss’. Truly, at the peak of orgasm, we pierce through the illusion of fragmentation and separation, and glimpse the unity and interconnectedness of all beings. And through the other–our partner–we fall in love with life.” – Margot Anand
In other words, we need some variety in our sex life, and going deeper is one way to do it! In her book Urban Tantra, Barbara Carrellas recognizes our need to find a “spiritual practice that embraces sexuality.” Tantra can provide that for people and bring a new dimension to sex. After all, Tantra in Sanskrit literally means “loom, weave, system.”
I am not an expert in Tantra, but I do know some core tenets to tantric sex. Mostly, you want to slow down the sex, prepare your mind, notice your own body and your partner’s body closely.
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Whether you decide to start a sex ritual, read a spiritual sexual book to learn more, or try orgasmic manifesting, just incorporating a little “spirit” into your sex can move mountains. Hey, getting naked and having great sex might just be your new religion.
Emily Anne is a bestselling author, sex coach and educator, who specializes in helping people expand their sexual horizons through BDSM and kink. When she’s not obsessively talking about sex, she’s hiking through the Hollywood Hills. Get some sexy education on her Instagram feed!