Raise your hand if you like to have orgasms. Pretty much everyone, right? Orgasms are great for many reasons; they help lower stress, increase feel-good hormones, and clear your head. One of the best ways to clear a bad mood is with a round of self-pleasure.
That said, we believe that there’s always room for improvement—particularly when it comes to sex. There are lots of techniques that you can implement to help you maximize your orgasms. Let’s get started.
Explore your body.
One of the first steps to having better orgasms is the simplest: get to know your body. Take the time to explore your genitals and erogenous zones to discover how it works and how you can experience more pleasure. Be curious by experimenting with different types of toys (more on that below). and different hand motions. We often expect our partners to know our bodies better than we do—but that can’t be the case. It’s imperative that you learn what you like so that you can repeat—either with a partner or solo.
Explore new positions.
We often associate positions with partnered sex, but that isn’t always the case. Exploring positions is something you can do solo or with a partner, and it’s a great way to learn new ways to maximize your orgasms. If you always lay on your back, try one session on your stomach. Experiment with sitting up or using pillows or playing in the shower.
Of course, you can always experiment with different positions with a significant other, too! It’s easy to get stuck in the same-position routine, but mixing it up just might open up some pleasure doors you never knew existed.
Breathe into your orgasms.
Have you ever found yourself holding your breath as you masturbate? That could be working against you. Connecting to your breath is one of the best ways to cum harder and faster. Try taking deep breaths before and during touching yourself. Feel your breath go down all the way to your pelvic bowl where your genitals are.
Breathing also increases mindfulness, which can help those who experience anxiety during sex. Simply take a deep breath to hone in on (and amplify) those pleasurable feelings.
Vibe, vibe, vibe.
If you’re a vulva-owner who isn’t using a vibrator, you’re missing out. Lots of folks are afraid to use vibrators because they’re afraid that they’ll lead to numbing, but that’s totally not the case. Using a vibrator just offers new ways for you to experience pleasure. The Magic Wand is always a great option, as wand-style vibrators cover a lot of surface area and provide super-strong vibrations. For a wider selection, spend some time perusing the offerings from our friends over at Good Vibrations.
A stronger pelvic floor.
Your pelvic floor is basically your orgasm muscle. For vulva-owners, one of the best ways to build up your pelvic floor muscle is through kegels, though we’re also obsessed with the Yarlap, a device that literally does your kegels for you. To do them the old fashioned way, follow these simple steps.
- Find the PC muscle. A classic way to find your pelvic floor muscle is top stop urination in midstream. Practice repeating this action when you’re not peeing to see if you can feel the muscle working.
- Perfect your technique. Squeeze for three seconds at a time, then relax for a count of three.
- Stay focused. For best results, try to focus on tightening only your pelvic floor muscles and avoid squeezing the muscles in your abdomen, thighs or buttocks. Remember to breathe!
- Repeat. Aim for at least three sets of 10 to 15 repetitions a day.
Remember that there is no way wrong way to orgasm. As long as you and any partners are consenting and feeling safe, feel free to explore your pleasure freely.
Emily Anne is a bestselling author, sex coach and educator, who specializes in helping people expand their sexual horizons through BDSM and kink. When she’s not obsessively talking about sex, she’s hiking through the Hollywood Hills.