In my opinion, oral sex is always a welcome proposition. But if your partner has a vulva, you can increase their pleasure with a rather amazing technique. It’s called the Kivin Method, and I’m going to teach you exactly how to do it.
What is the Kivin Method?
Oral sex on a vulva, but instead of coming at them straight-on and between their legs, you’re coming at them from the side. It looks like this:
As you can see, your bodies are forming a right angle. And that one adjustment has some surprising advantages.
Why Try the Kivin Method?
This position allows you to better access your partner’s “K points:” two small bumps on either side of the clitoral hood. When the K points are licked and pleasured, it feels really good to some.
Also, this position allows for a different flavor of connection. As the giver, it might be a little easier to turn your head and make eye contact with your partner while going down on them. This is also a great position for adding a finger or a toy…and watching their face while you do so.
How Do I Try the Kivin Method?
Lay perpendicular to your partner, facedown. Have them lift up their knee closest to you, then get into position with your mouth above their genitals. Their leg should be draped over your shoulder at this point.
Unlike regular oral sex, you’ll be looking at the clitoris sideways, rather than looking at it from directly above. So tease all around this area before you dive in: kisses on their inner thighs, their mons pubis, their labia. When you’re both ready, you can start focusing on the clitoris.
Using one hand, place your index finger and thumb on either side of the clitoris to raise it and help keep it in place. Start to gently lick. This is when some people start detecting K points, which feel like two small grains of rice. No worries though if you can’t find them – like I said, not every person with a vulva has detectable K points. Way more important to pay attention to your partner, and see if they’re enjoying themselves. Are they breathing heavily? Moaning? Stay present, and respond to their energy.
How Do I Use My Tongue During the Kivin Method?
You’re licking horizontally here, so treat it like an ice cream cone. Gentle licks mixed with more passionate ones, noting their body language and excitement.
You can also get creative, making circles with your tongue around the clitoris, flicking it with your tongue, or gently adding sucking. Collaboration is one of the 5 pillars of sex IQ, so this is a great time for both of you to work together on what feels best.
What Do I Do with My Hands During the Kivin Method?
Use your free hand to reach up and rub their breast or chest: extra credit for gently squeezing their nipple.
You can also use a hand to brace their hip down (which feels a little Dom-y and exciting) or squeeze their inner thigh. If you’ve got a partner who likes to be dominated, pushing-down action might work really well.
Finally, this is a great time to insert a finger. After you’ve been pleasuring them with your mouth for a little while, gently push one finger inside, and see how they like it. Ask them if they’d like more, and if you need lube for your fingers, you know I got you.
Should I Add Toys During the Kivin Method?
For someone with a vulva, sex toys always increase stimulation. This position is already super exciting, but if you want to make things even more intense, here are the toys I recommend.
Bullet vibes: for shallow penetration play. Sooo lovely while you’re going down on them.
Finger vibe: to tease their nipples during the act.
Flexible vibe: to run along their perineum (stretch of skin between vaginal opening and anus) while you do your thing: this area indirectly stimulates the G-spot.
Ready to give your partner a twist on oral? The Kivin Method is a fresh alternative. Try it, and see if you don’t love the new view.
