How to Give a Prostate Massage

Naked man holds his hands to small of his back in the sunlight shadows

No matter your sexual orientation, prostate massage feels absolutely amazing during partnered sex or solo play. Just ask someone who’s had a prostate orgasm.

More internal and full-body feeling than a penile orgasm, prostate orgasms can be achieved by inserting something – a finger, a penis or toy – into the anus. That’s because of the prostate’s unique location, and the role it plays in sexual pleasure.

What is the prostate?

A sensitive, walnut-shaped gland, whose primary function is producing the fluid that nourishes and transports sperm. 

Where is it located?

About two inches inside the anus, just below the bladder and surrounding the urethra. You can find it by inserting a clean, well-lubed finger inside the anus, pointing the finger towards the belly. If you like, you can use a latex or nitrile glove if it’s your first time exploring. 

Why are prostate orgasms so legendary?

They’re like G-spot orgasms for those with a penis. Penile orgasms feel great too, but prostate orgasms activate spasms in your pelvic floor that feel much deeper, radiating pleasure throughout your body. And get this: you do not have to be erect to experience one.

How do I give a prostate massage with a finger?

Whether you’re giving one to a partner or yourself, there are a few key steps to follow. Here’s how to prepare, how to locate the prostate with a finger, and stimulate it for sexual pleasure and orgasm:

  1. Trim nails, wash hands thoroughly.
  2. The receiver should also ensure they’ve had a normal bowel movement that day, for peace of mind. The likelihood of an “accident” happening is very low, because waste actually isn’t stored in this part of the rectum until evacuation. Still, if you’re receiving, this step will help you (and your sphincter muscles) relax.
  3. Put on latex/nitrile gloves if you like, and if there are any cuts on the finger, I especially recommend doing so. But, this is an optional step.
  4. Apply a lot of lube to both the anal opening, as well as the finger.
  5. Most people find prostate massage especially comfortable if there’s also penis stimulation, so feel free to start that at this juncture.
  6. Insert a finger – I recommend index finger – very slowly into the anus, so as to give the sensitive sphincter muscles time to relax. Try going up to just the first knuckle.
  7. Stay here, and as penis stimulation continues, try inserting up to the second knuckle (slowly).
  8. Listen for feedback from your partner or your own body, and if all is well, try going up to the third knuckle.
  9. If things still feel good, keep going with the finger until it’s fully inserted, feeling for a rounded lump. That’s the prostate! If you need help finding it, keep contact with the front wall on the rectum (that’s where the prostate is sitting).
  10. Now, gently apply pressure with the pad of your finger –not the tip – to register these exciting sensations. It should feel very good.
  11. Finally, gently massage the prostate in a circular or back-and-forth motion using the pad of the finger.

As thrilling as prostate orgasms are, know that it’s common for them to take longer to achieve than your run-of-the-mill penis orgasm, especially if it’s your first time. There’s a steady buildup of pleasure that explodes into quite the orgasm, but these nerve endings are tucked deep inside the body, deeper than those of the penis. Exercise patience, breathe deeply if you’re the receiver, and enjoy the slower increase of intensity as the body approaches climax.

How do I use a toy for prostate massage? 

Using prostate massage toys are an A+ way to start having prostate orgasms, because the vibration helps your sphincter muscles relax. The vibes also reach even deeper into your body than a finger can, so if you’re ready to exit the known universe with your orgasm, look no further.

While all kinds of prostate massage toys exist, I’m a particular fan of this one for a few reasons: 

  • It’s got a handle for one, providing an excellent grip: you can guide it exactly where you want to go. 
  • Additionally, the internal vibrating moves back and forth like a finger would, offering a more complex and sexy sensation than vibration alone. 
  • Finally, it’s got a vibrating external arm to massage your perineum, for indirect prostate stimulation. 

As far as a successful (and intense) prostate orgasm, it’s thought of everything. Kudos LELO Loki, no surprise it’s super popular. 

And there you have it! Everything you need to venture into prostate orgasms. Have fun lovers. 

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