The Sexiest Valentine’s Date Ideas (For Every Stage of Your Relationship)

A shirtless, attractive young man gently kisses the shoulder of his beautiful girlfriend in lingerie.

Valentine’s Day is not a one-size-fits-all holiday. It might be synonymous with flowers and chocolate, but when it comes to your relationship you have my permission to get inventive…and of course, sexy.

Here are my top Valentine’s Day date ideas for every stage of your relationship, whether it’s your spouse, your long-distance bae, or a more fluid arrangement. And while I’ve divided it up into stages, check out the whole list! You never know where you’ll find inspiration…

The Situationship

Casual hookup buddies. Exes who still hook up sometimes. Friends with benefits. Or simply an undefined relationship. Whatever you call it, you’ve got a special connection and it defies definition. Plan a date that celebrates your sexual compatibility.

viia hemp co high love gummies, calvin klein boxers, and fleur du mal thong on pink silk sheet background with white SWE lips logoSexy Scavenger Hunt 

…But it ends in bed with gorgeously wrapped undies or boxers. It starts with a sexy note (a la “I can’t wait to see where we end up tonight”), and if they’re 420-friendly, High Love gummies from VIIA Hemp Co*. to share. Sexy euphoria takes effect in about half an hour.


je joue amour + film strip on pink silk sheet background with white SWE lips logo“Netflix” and Chill

Watch something hot together: here are some of my faves. When you’re ready, give them the Je Joue Amour to play with right then and there. The perfect upgrade to foreplay, it’s got an adorable heart on top that flutters over nipples, neck, inner thighs…anywhere you’d like to tease.


higherdose sauna blanket, dame candle, and magic wand original on pink silk sheet background with white SWE lips logoSultry Spa Night

Invite them over, give them erotic massage with a Magic Wand massager and this amazing smelling, body-safe candle from Dame. For super extra credit, gift them an Infrared Sauna Blanket from HigherDOSE: it creates a deep, detoxifying sweat that increases blood flow, boosts mood, and gives glowing skin.


firmtech max pr ring on pink silk sheet background with white SWE lips logoKink Menu

Create a list of kinky delights — ideas here. Let them choose what they want, and take your time exploring together. Pro tip, give them a penis ring before you begin: it makes orgasms extra intense. This one from FirmTech* puts pressure on the urethra for a super powerful finish, only gift it if they can handle that much pleasure.


The Long-Term Lover

You’ve been together for years. You prioritize pleasure in the relationship (or you’re ready to start). Here are dates that honor your bond while upleveling your sex. 

Smart Sex and SWE YNM Guide on pink silk sheet background with white SWE lips logoCandlelit Dinner In

Go all out with their favorite, delicious meal, beautiful flowers, and candles everywhere. As an after-dinner treat, fill out my Yes! No! Maybe? Guide to get inspiration for your sex life. Even better, get a copy of Smart Sex and go through it together (hint: skip right to pg. 139 to go through my Sixty-Nine Questions to Ask Your Lover.)


custom viewfinder + womaness goldvibes on pink silk sheet background with white SWE lips logoRecreate Your First Date 

While you’re there, give them nostalgia to commemorate your relationship. This adorable Create Your Own Reel Viewer can be filled with photos of your relationship (or nudes if you’re feeling risque). Just upload photos of your choosing, and get your personalized reel in 7-10 business days. Wanna sex up your “first-date” makeout? Add Womaness Gold Vibes* to the mix: it’s small enough to throw in a pocket or purse.


promescent pleasure pack and LELO lily 3 on pink silk sheet background with white SWE lips logoBook an Airbnb 

Pull out all the stops and look for a place with a jacuzzi bath. Bathe together and run this waterproof vibe between their legs: the Lily 3 from LELO* was made for moments like these. When you’re ready to move things to the bed, the Pleasure Pack from Promescent is a lovely gift for both of you. Delay spray helps those with a penis last longer, warming arousal gel helps those with a vulva feel every touch more deeply.


masterclass on laptop on red silk sheet bon pink silk sheet background with white SWE lips logoLearn to Cook Together 

Calling all sapiosexuals: you get turned on by intelligence. Me too! Gift them a subscription to MasterClass, and turn Valentine’s into an at-home culinary adventure. Global cuisine, wine pairings, mixology: just pick your class from the Food section, buy ingredients from the class list, and whip up something delicious. 


The Long Distance Partner

You’re in one place, they’re in another. You’re already intentional about FaceTime catch-ups (and maybe FaceTime sex), but for Valentine’s you want to amp things up. Here’s how. 

we-vibe rave and wonderlust cards on pink silk sheet background with white SWE lips logoAsk Me Anything

Make Valentine’s FaceTime hot with these illustrated question cards from Wonderlust. Each one comes with a gorgeous illustration, and a sexy question to ask each other (“what are some of your favorite sexual memories of us?”) If you’ve got a vulva, you have my permission to bust out this revelation of a toy during the call: Rave, a G-spot vibrator from We-Vibe. It’s app-connected, so they can take control of your pleasure.


arcwave pow + plusOne rose on pink silk sheet background with white SWE lips logoMutual Masturbation

Send each other toys in advance for phone sex on V-Day. For those with a vulva, send this adorable rose vibe from plusOne, with teasing petals and a pulsing surface. For those with a penis, the Pow by Arcwave is one of my favorite strokers: it mimics oral sex by creating suction.


ohmibod blue motion nex|1 panty vibe and morgasm cbd arousal gel on pink silk sheet background with white SWE lips logoAll Day Tease 

Make your entire Valentine’s Day surprisingly sexy…from a distance. This panty vibe from Ohmibod is one that you can wear discreetly (it’s whisper quiet), and best of all, they can tease you from anywhere in the world with the app. Genius. Pair it with Morgasm*, a CBD-infused arousal gel, to make the tease extra intense.


le wand little pleasures collection on pink silk sheet background with white SWE lips logoThe Hot Unboxing

Mail them something super hot, and ask them to open it while you FaceTime. If your partner has a vulva, I can’t recommend Le Wand Little Pleasures enough. It’s gorgeous, it’s got two vibrators, and a textured attachment that will be fun to explore while you’re on the phone together. 


Throuples and Beyond

You’re three (or more) peas in a pod. Whether it’s on the newer side or you’re all settled in, your relationship is unconventional and you love it that way. Here are dates you can all enjoy together. 

rose petals and candles on pink silk sheet background with white SWE lips logoThe Perfect Picnic 

Lay out a cute blanket and yummy spread, then throw down rose petals and tea lights to make it dreamy. Amazon’s your friend here: this cute tea light and rose petal kit is budget-friendly and atmospheric.



playground o on the go kit and je joue naughty set on pink silk sheet background with white SWE lips logoStay At a Romantic B&B

Do it up! Are you a little kinky? Place the Je Joue Naughty Gift Set on the pillow: it’s got super sexy, beginner-friendly kink activities inside. Do they like sparkles? Playground’s O On the Go Kit features a crystal-embellished bullet vibe and Love Sesh lube for sexy slip.


cozy earth bamboo sheets + pajamas, b-vibe heart plug, and dame pillo on pink silk sheet background with white SWE lips logoHave a Staycation 

Rose petals in the bathtub, breakfast in bed, sex all weekend? Sounds amazing. Spoil them with Oprah’s Favorite Things-certified pajamas from Cozy Earth, and Cozy Earth bamboo sheets* to give the bed that crisp hotel feel. They get softer with every wash. When it’s time for lights out, bust out a sex pillow: Dame’s Pillo makes every position feel more amazing. Top things off with these heart-shaped anal plugs to give it that Valentine’s touch.

etsy picnic table on pink silk sheet background with white SWE lips logo


Go Stargazing

Pack this cute outdoor wine table with bubbly and snacks, then toast to your love under the stars. Bonus points…make a vibey playlist in advance.


Already have your date planned and just need a cute gift? Here are some classics with a twist: 


The Vesper by Crave. Looks like a cool necklace, but surprise…it’s a vibrator.


Gorgeous Valentine’s bouquet from Urban Stems. Or shop local with your neighborhood florist. Add a note: “you make me come…plete.”


Sensual Ruby Truffles by Delysia. Chocolate doesn’t need any help being sexy, but these are inspired by traditional aphrodisiacs. 


Pheromone Oil by Pure Instinct. Better than florals or musk: it’s sexual ambrosia.

Who says Valentine’s has to be cliche? Whether it’s a flirty walk in the park or an all-night sex marathon, there’s no law saying you can’t tinker with the formula. Break the rules, enjoy all the sex, try something new. 

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