Trust vs. Lust

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Trust: it’s the glue of relationships, even the more casual ones. Can I trust that this person is safe? That they aren’t going to hurt me? Can I trust myself, that I’ll know how to navigate this situation? These are the questions we all ask ourselves, even if it’s subconscious. Our bodies and brains regularly scan for danger, but when you’re wearing rose-colored glasses, sometimes the red flags just look like flags.

So on today’s Ask Emily show, I take your questions on trust and safety, because as we know, safety is the precursor to hot sex. So what happens when you’re having mind-blowing sex with a partner, but catch them chatting with sex workers online? What happens when you’ve been love-bombed, by someone who isn’t what they seem? Or maybe you’ve had past relationship trauma, and don’t trust new partners to take it slow with you? We get into all of it. Finally: do you trust yourself to facilitate a hookup? Do you trust that you can help a partner heal from sex-negative messaging? These are the questions I’m exploring today, and trust ME: by the end, you’ll walk away with some great tools for sticky situations.

Show Notes:
Episode: First Date First Orgasm First Threesome
Find out about EMDR therapy at
Book: For Yourself By Lonnie Barbach