Masturbation can be a touchy subject in relationships. How exactly do you go about doing it when you’re having sex on a regular basis? Does masturbating mean that you aren’t that into your partner? Does it mean your partner doesn’t satisfy your needs? What if one partner does it all the time and the other has never even tried?
If masturbation is causing problems in your relationship, it’s probably due to a lack of understanding. Opinions and experience range immensely, and each new partner has a different take on the matter. There are some who get upset when their partner masturbates, seeing it as a form of cheating. Others don’t see masturbation as a problem, but still never talk about it with each other. Sometimes only one partner has an issue with it.
The thing is, it doesn’t matter who you’re with or your relationship status. Masturbation is for everyone. It isn’t a problem, it’s just a way of making yourself feel absolutely wonderful. So if you’re partner’s name and masturbation rarely are within three words of each other, it’s time to purchase them a ticket to Self-Love City, and here are 7 reasons why.
1. It keeps you in touch with yourself.
Remember that masturbation is firstly about your sexual relationship with yourself. Every relationship is better if you take if you put time and effort into yourself. If your partner doesn’t see it that way, let them know that it has absolutely nothing to do with them. You masturbate as a way to bond with yourself, relieve tension on your own terms, and because it’s fun!
Reassure your partner that you love them (and sex with them), but you also love yourself. Also encourage them to do it as well—it will help them to realize how much pleasure and personal intimacy improve your sexual wellbeing.
2. It’s great for a quickie.
Just because we’re horny, doesn’t mean we always have the stamina or mindset for a romp in the sheets with a partner. Plus, partnered sex takes effort, compromise, and connection. Masturbation allows you to feel pleasure without having to do the same prep for sex. Sometimes, all you need is a little alone time to decompress and play with yourself.
3. Masturbation is orgasm training.
Masturbation is more than just self-pleasure for the sake of pleasure. It’s actually a pleasure lesson in disguise. The more that you masturbate and self-explore, the more you learn about your body, what turns you on and how you like to be touched.
Especially if you or your partner have trouble in the orgasm department, masturbation can help you find your way to climax. It can even help you last longer by ways of muscle memory! Isn’t science awesome?
4. You figure out your fantasies.
Ever been asked what your fantasy is, and find yourself speechless? It’s an important question, and if you’ve never masturbated, you might now know. The more time you spend getting intimate with yourself, the more comfortable you’ll be letting your mind tap into your fantasies. Think about it: You’re entirely alone in your own head, where no one can judge you, allowing yourself to use the full extent of your imagination.
You may never feel comfortable sharing these thoughts out loud, and that’s okay! You can bring these fantasies into the bedroom and keep them completely in your mind. Just the thought of your fantasy can help you achieve your orgasm faster than without, so why not give it the good ol’ college try?
5. It feels good to treat yourself.
Masturbation is fun! There’s an entire industry specializing in toys and tools that cater to making your one-on-one sessions exciting. Many products even help you with multiple orgasms as an end-goal. Getting a sex toy really amps up your self-love game—and they can always be used during sex as well.
Whether you get yourself a Womanizer or go classic with a Magic Wand Plus, you can’t go wrong with more stimulation and sensation. Treat yourself to a toy and see how intense your orgasms can actually be!
6. Who doesn’t need to relax?
Everyone experiences stress, and while there are many ways to cope, there’s nothing quite like an orgasm to help your worries fall back into the dark pit from where they came. Sex isn’t always going to be available to you, and let’s face it, it might be one of the issues contributing to your strenuous life.
Masturbation is one of the best stress relievers because you can knock out an orgasm (or two, or five), get some of that joy juice—serotonin—released into your brain, and you don’t even have to spend any money! What a win.
7. You can do it together.
Although masturbation is usually a solitary activity, it doesn’t have to be. Mutual masturbation is incredibly hot and—bonus—it’s informative! Watching your partner masturbate is essentially a step-by-step tutorial of how they liked to be touched, and how you can ensure an orgasm the next time around.
Plus, seeing them get off will turn you on and you being turned on will turn them on, and you will continue down this amazing pleasure spiral until you’ve passed out from orgasmic exhaustion.
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Relationship masturbation has so many benefits, this list could go on forever. But ultimately, knowing the road map to your own body and pleasure can help you and your partner know more about the ins and outs of your body and desire. I mean, with a whole month to honor it, if you’ve never tried it, it’s time to start getting down…on yourself!