As long as I’ve been doing Sex With Emily, blowjobs have enjoyed Top 5 status in advice-most-requested. And I get it! Oral sex of any kind can be intimidating.

The Internet is unhinged with blowjob tips, but I like to keep things pretty simple. The following tips will help you feel more confident going down, and more importantly they’ll maximize your pleasure as the giver. Let’s get started.

What is a blowjob?

The nice thing about this sex act is you can really make it your own. But your basic blowjob involves your mouth around the penis, moving up and down the shaft and the head. Here’s how to jazz things up.

Tease with your hands

Sometimes, going straight from kissing into oral sex can be super hot, in a “I just couldn’t wait to do this”-type way. But more often than not, a sexy lead-in is where it’s at.

While you’re making out, let your hands travel. Make your way to your partner’s thighs, then above their clothes, grazing your hand between their legs and feeling for their erection. If they’re not hard yet, it’s totally OK. That’s part of the process.

Stay here as long as you like, teasing above their clothes with squeezes, rubs, etc. before undoing their pants. (They might help you.) Once you’re inside, wrap your fingers around the shaft, and proceed to the next tip. 

Apply lube

Little-known fact with blowjobs: you can use lube! They even make handjobs better. 

While in teasing mode, apply lube to your hand and their shaft, spreading it along the penis. Pick the right lube for the job:

• Flavored: very fun for you, as it will make the eventual blowjob taste like dessert. 
• Water-based: a great choice if you’re using toys, because it won’t degrade silicone. 
• Oil-based: moisturizing and lovely-feeling, this one doubles as an arousal oil.
• Silicone-based: the longest-lasting type of lube.
• CBD-infused: this will help engorge the penis, helping their erection and making the penis more sensitive to the touch. Bonus, it will make their eventual orgasm more intense. 

With lube applied, play with different grips. You can go up and down along the shaft, graze your thumb over the head (the most sensitive part of the penis), or try a twisting motion. Some people with a penis enjoy having their testicles stimulated and the hand is a GREAT option to test that out, before using your mouth. Cup the testicles and ask if it feels good; if so, add light squeezes.

Onto the mouth 

At this point, you’ve provided lots of lovely stimulation with your hands. Time to bust out the big guns!

Take off their pants / underwear if they’re not removed already, and let the following ideas inspire your blowjob. These are meant to be pick-and-choose, so use what feels good and leave the rest.

Kiss their inner thighs

It’s tempting to dive right into the penis, but making them wait a little is fun too. Kiss, lick and caress their inner thighs as you make your way there. If you like, you can use your hands on the shaft while your mouth does its thing.

Lick the sides of the shaft

Because the head is the most sensitive piece of penis real estate, it’s nice to warm up the less-sensitive part in anticipation. Treat it like the most delicious ice cream cone, taking your time with each lick. 

Stimulate the head while using your hand

If you think of your hand as an extension of your mouth, your blowjob is going to be much easier on your jaw. Wrapping your lips and mouth around the head, apply gentle suction while your hand moves up and down the shaft, fingers wrapped around firmly. You can come back to this move anytime your jaw gets tired.

Whole mouth action

Wrap your lips over your teeth, and place the whole shaft in your mouth. (This ensures your teeth don’t accidentally rake the sides of their penis.) From there, you’ve got options:

Licking: wrap your tongue around the shaft as you move your mouth up and down the penis. 

Suction: this typically feels great on the penis, but you don’t have to do it continuously. Suck for a few moments, then relax while you continue to work the penis up and down with your mouth and/or hands. Repeat as many times as you like. 

Deep-throating: no, you don’t have to deep-throat. But if you do, relax your throat muscles, and slowly take the whole shaft deeper into your mouth, all the way to your comfortable edge. This does create a nice sensation on the head, but it’s really more about the theatrics (aka, light gagging on the penis). The very last thing you want though is for your partner to press or hold your head while deep-throating. That’s dangerous! So ensure you’ve got good communication and trust with your partner before you deep-throat. 

Additional pro tips

To make the blowjob unforgettable, don’t forget these:  

Enthusiasm. Truly, the most skillful blowjob in the world won’t mean much if the giver doesn’t seem to be enjoying themselves. Like all sex acts, blowjobs are ideally an erotic collaboration. Let them know you’re enjoying yourself with your moans and body language. 

Eye contact. Almost nothing hotter (and naughty-feeling) than making eye contact during oral sex. If that feels too vulnerable, you can always look up and smile while pleasuring them with your hand. (And giving your mouth a break.)

Toys. Everyone sleeps on toys during blowjobs, which is why you are about to blow someone’s mind. Keep a small bullet vibe on hand, and run it along their perineum on the low setting while you give them a blowjob. This provides indirect prostate stimulation, which will make their orgasm feel pretty incredible! I like this one due to its removable, textured silicone sleeve. The feeling of metal is “harder” on the skin than silicone, so the vibes feel more intense. 

If you really want to kick things up a notch though, give the recipient a vibrating penis ring to wear while you go down. The TOR 3 by LELO is absolutely ideal for this. It traps blood inside the penis creating a bigger, stiffer look. When it’s time for penetration, just press the button on top. It’ll vibrate right on your clitoris or anal opening, for more intense (mutual!) orgasms. 

Rhythm. As your partner is approaching orgasm, keep doing what you’re doing and maintain the same rhythm. That is the most conducive to orgasm.

Speaking of orgasm, it’s totally up to you whether you’d like to ingest their ejaculate or not. Both are fine! The most important thing is that you’ve decided in advance. So make a plan, keeping a towel nearby for cleanup.

And there you have it: your best blowjob! What tips would you add? Come find me on Instagram at @sexwithemily and let’s talk about it.

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