I refer to 69ing as sex for multitaskers. If you love receiving oral sex while giving it, that’s beautiful. It’s the have-your-cake-and-eat-it-too of oral, especially if you’re using cake-flavored lube. 

But sometimes you prefer oral sex with a more defined giver, and a more defined receiver. You want to stay in your lane. You want to focus all your attention on just the one thing, without you or your partner having to hold a plank. 

You want, my friends, the 68 position.

What is the 68 sex position?

This position generally works best if the receiving partner has a vulva. If your partner has a penis, it’s not optimal for pleasuring the shaft. But it’s still a nice position for pleasuring the perineum – the sensitive strip of skin between the genitals and the anus – as well as the testicles. 

The giving partner lies flat on their back, while the receiving partner lays on top of them, stomach facing upwards. The receiving partner’s genitals should line up with the giving partner’s mouth, like the image above. 

Why try 68?

It’s an unabashedly relaxing position for the receiver. They still have their hands free too to explore other parts of their body. They can:

• Caress their own chest or breasts
• Squeeze their nipples (or use vibrating nipple clamps)
• Use a bullet sex toy (I like this one) on their genitals to add even more stimulation 

Many givers also like the 68 sex position because it feels less distracting to them than 69. They can fully focus on giving pleasure to their partner without getting caught up in sensations on their own genitals. 

Finally, people love 68 sex position because the hand placement of the giver feels erotic and somewhat kinky. They can grab their partner’s hips to pull them in closer, applying different pressure with their hands to create a hot vibe. 

How can I spice up the 68 sex position?

The giving partner can apply all kinds of lubes to the receiver to make the pleasure extra fantastic. For example:

• A lickable warming oil to increase the heat
• A CBD-arousal gel to make the genitals extra sensitive 

There are also lots of hand variations the giver can provide, in this luxurious oral sex sesh. They can caress their partner’s thighs, stomach, and chest/breasts while they do their thing. For those of us who get super turned on by hearing our partner’s pleased reactions, 68 is where it’s at. 

This position can also be easily modified for analingus! But givers: make sure you don’t go from analingus back to cunnilingus. To prevent infection it’s advisable to keep the oral action in the booty only (if you’re going for analingus), and not repeatedly switch back and forth. 

Any drawbacks to 68?

No drawbacks per se, but there are definitely some things to keep in mind. 

• Receivers: this is a gloriously relaxing oral sex position, but you should still be mindful of your weight on theirs. Talk to each other to find comfortable positioning. You can support more of your weight by pushing down into your forearms.
• Depending on your heights, the receiver’s head might be resting right on top of the giver’s genitals. Talk to each other to ensure this feels comfortable, not ouchy. 
• Givers: to avoid straining your neck, put a pillow underneath your head to prop you up as you lick/suck your partner. A sex pillow works great for this: it has a firmer inner core than regular pillows, and won’t deflate as you’re doing your thing. 

Talk to real people trying the 68 sex position 

I could talk about sex positions all day long, but sometimes it helps to hear from people just like you who are trying new things in bed. That’s why I’m so excited about SmartSX, my new community app where you can talk about your 68 adventures – and so much more!

Each week, we explore new sex lessons and techniques – guided by a hot monthly theme. You can log in any time to connect with your people, post wins and shoutouts, ask questions, and read what other community members are trying. Plus live workshops and AMA’s, with me and other sexperts! 

Safe space, great vibes, sex-curious people who want to become better lovers, and have better sex. Get on the email list here and be the first to know when it drops.