For anyone not familiar with her, I gotta say – my mom is epic. She’s joined me on the show a few times before and we’ve covered an array of topics including…her sex tape. Susan: you’re a real one.
So who better to talk to about sex, sexuality and aging? We’re all going to get older someday (or are currently enjoying sexy senior status), so I hope these conversations with Susan help you know what you can expect – and look forward to – from your sex life in your golden years. Plus, she’s hilarious, so if anything you’ll be highly entertained.
You can enjoy our episode in audio/video form that comes out this week, but I picked out the highlights of our conversation for your reading pleasure.
“How did hormone fluctuations affect you and your sex life as you got older?”
Mom told me that the transition into menopause wasn’t too tough for her, until she hit her 70s. “I lost interest in sex. My body changed,” she said. “I used to be really proud of my legs and then whenever I stopped, the skin would keep moving.”
My mom comes from a generation where there weren’t really any solutions for women going through menopause. Nothing to help skin tone (aka “moving” skin) or their sex drive. I showed her what I’m into right now – Solaray’s her life STAGES line of doctor-formulated supplements – and she said, “I would have loved to have something like that.”
I’m currently taking a few of her life STAGES formulas, the Libido supplement and the Menopause supplement, and they’ve helped dramatically. Night sweats – gone – natural lubrication – sooo much better – and she said she wanted to get her gym friends some of this stuff.*
Gym friends, if you’re reading! The Libido supplement’s star ingredient is ashwagandha, clinically proven to help sex drive. A 2023 review in healthy women found that consuming ashwagandha root extract positively impacts sexual function. Plus, it helps boost your mood and calm occasional stress, two things that absolutely affect your libido.*
The Menopause supplement contains scientifically backed saffron and orange extract to help with body composition, weight and sleep changes, and for me it’s just made this time feel a HELL of a lot more comfortable.*
“Did you find that different times of the month affected your sex drive?”
“Totally,” she said, which makes sense – for women, arousal tends to peak closest to ovulation. Speaking of cycles, period sex isn’t nearly as taboo as it used to be but Susan told me that the period itself was horrible for her. “They didn’t have ibuprofen when I was coming up and getting my period,” she said. “You just used a hot towel! I was like a prairie woman trying to deal with this stuff.”
Thank God we have ibuprofen now? And another shoutout to her life STAGES, specifically the PMS & Menstrual formula for anticipating what women need each month and providing solid support. It’s anchored by chasteberry and saffron to help brighten your mood and ease menstrual discomfort like breast tenderness.* Look up the research on chasteberry and saffron – it’s pretty fascinating – and this formula nails it.
“Do you think men sit around and talk to each other about sex?”
Susan said absolutely not. At least not men in her generation. “Golf swings yes, sex life no,” she said.
But she said her heart goes out to men because it’s harder to get an erection as they get older, and often they feel like they have no one to talk to about it. They can listen to the show though!
It’s funny, because when Viagra came out in 1998, it was a sea change for men dealing with this issue. The problem is, even though it helped them get erections suddenly, the communication wasn’t always there with their partners to co-create equally fulfilling sex lives. “That’s why I tell people to listen to your show, you’re always talking about communication,” said Susan. Thanks Mom.
And by the way, if you’re a man dealing with unpredictable erections right now, here’s an article that will help.
Have you ever been in a situationship before?
“Yes!” she said, and honestly it sounded pretty fun. “I knew I wasn’t going to marry the guy, but it was fun while it lasted,” she said. Healthy attitude right there.
Situationships are more in the zeitgeist now, and my personal opinion is that if everyone’s clear with their expectations and are on the same page, great! But just in case you need some support there, here’s a Best Of show we did recently on conscious, casual sex.
What are your red flags?
“My two big ones are communication, and being cheap,” she said. Good to know your non-negotiables!
The golden rule of sex and communication is: your sex life improves in direct proportion to your communication skills. Most people think they’re already good communicators, but if you’ve ever felt yourself get tongue-tied in bed, or don’t quite know how to ask for what you want, or feel like boundaries are tough…
Come join us in SmartSX! It’s a members-only app for community and sex coaching. I created this as a safe space for folks who know that sex is important to them, and want to develop skills in every area. Partner communication, sexual technique, figuring out your turn ons, and how to be an amazing lover.
We do AMA’s, live coaching, guest workshops with my favorite sexperts, and learn every day how to improve our sex lives. I think you’ll love it here.
And for natural relief and support during menstruation, perimenopause, menopause, postmenopause, OR to help your sex drive, check out her life STAGES by Solaray. Take their quiz to figure out which formula is right for you!
*Results may vary; these statements represent my experience on the products. These statements have not been evaluated by the FDA. These products are not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease.
