The 2021 Sex With Emily Holiday Gift Guide

When the holidays roll around, it can feel like a stop-drop-and-shop situation–but TBH, it’s not always intuitive what to get people. That goes double for sex-positive gifting: should I get them something sexy? What if it’s too sexy? Would my bestie appreciate a pillow that looks like boobs? (Gonna go ahead and say yes.)

That’s why I’ve curated my fave gift ideas all along the sex spectrum, from chocolate body paint to gold handcuffs, massage candles to sex swings. Shopping for your #1’s will be a blast this year, because there’s one thing all these gifts have in common: pleasure guaranteed.

For Sexy Self-Care

What time is it? Me Time. From sleep to solo sex, these gifts will delight anyone who prioritizes their pleasure:

Casa Clara Slippers

Let’s talk feet for a second. No, not foot fetishes. If your gift recipient loves coziness and style in equal measure, they will adore these sustainably sourced sheepskin slippers, which clearly say: “I enjoy being comfortable as well as adorable.” These darling slippers achieve both.

Dayo Women Lounge Bra

In bra-land, you usually get two choices: no underwire and zero support, or lots of underwire and lots of support (as well as red skin indentations where the wire cut in – ouch). Cue these underwire-free, support-full, CUTE Lounge Bra Bands, for breast-owners who want all the lewks and none of the constriction. What’s cool is you can treat this like a traditional bra, or as its own stand-alone top, because all of these shapes are on-trend baby. Be a breast friend and nab one. 

Me-Est Me

Who’s got “get to know myself” at the top of their New Year’s resolution? Because Me-Est Me is the journal for exactly that. An 88-page journal of prompts and exercises, this is a deep (and beautifully designed) tool for self-discovery.

Magic Wand

A personal massager they can use wherever they like (I recommend between the legs). Way more than your average vibe, Magic Wand is the ORIGINAL massage wand: invented in 1968, it was the first iconic personal massager to go mainstream. As the ultimate tried and true toy, it’s aces for their solo pleasure sesh.

Tenga Flip Masturbator

Because listen: some penis-owners wanna go “acoustic” when they masturbate (i.e., use their hands). But, some want the bells and whistles. The Tenga Flip sleeve-style masturbator is a great option for the latter, with a super-tight valve, strong vacuum sensation, and an open/close design for easy cleanup…for when Me Time gets a little sexy.

Osea Body Oil

Fair warning…it’s easy to get addicted to this stuff. OSEA’s Undaria Algae Body Oil is a seaweed-infused formula that goes on smooth (aka, not greasy) and smells insanely good, like citrusy lime and grapefruit. Rub it on right after your bath or shower, for the literal best self-massage ritual.

For Couple Connection

Right, this way for intimacy, interesting conversations, and super hot partner play:

MasterClass Subscription

Feed their curious mind with a gift they can love again and again, because this is education, after all. While we probably don’t have to tell you this, MasterClass is famous for marshaling icons of culture and turning them into your personal instructor. Think Annie Liebowitz on photography, Timbaland on beat-making—might we suggest Emily Morse, on Sex and Communication? A subscription is a killer way to learn things together, satisfy curiosity, and fuel a growth mindset.

Sexy Bonus: MasterClass is currently doing buy one, get one free! Shop here.

Love My Pulse

It’s the holidays, you’re having sex, and someone busts out the lube…freeze. No really, the lube is freezing, and you just went from hot and bothered to chilly and clenching, because your genitals were not prepared for this icy mess. If that sounds familiar to you, help is on the way in the form of this touchless lube warmer, which, btw, lights up in your choice of six colors. Part night-light, part magic lube transformer? We’ll take it. 

Esther Perel’s Where Should We Begin Game

Just when you think you know everything you’ll ever know about each other…think again. Where Should We Begin is a card game from relationship expert and author, Esther Perel—but not a game, in the traditional sense. These cards don’t help you win, they help you open up because each one contains an evocative prompt (“Share something that’s changed your worldview,” for example). Take ‘em on a date or play right at home, for conversations that bring you closer.

The Adventure Challenge – Couple Edition Book

We’re always hearing that novelty is the key to a spicy sex life, which is why I adore this kit so much: it takes care of the novelty for you! Complete with an adventure guide and camera to record your memories, it prompts you to try loads of new things together, both in and out of the bedroom. Laughter, learning, and a dash of awkwardness? Sounds like intimacy to me, and that’s exactly why I like this one for couples. 

So Tell Me About the Last Time You Had Sex by Ian Kerner

If you’ve written Santa asking for “a renewed sex life,” here’s just the thing. The author of the wildly popular She Comes First is back with a new page-turner:  So Tell Me About the Last Time You Had Sex: Laying Bare and Learning to Repair Our Love Lives. Inside, Ian Kerner—a compassionate sex therapist and “the man who made oral sex into an art form”—helps both of you tap into your erotic personalities, and realize your sexual potential.

JeJoue Gift Box

Hey now, heeeey now, this is what dreams are made of…oh pardon me, you caught me singing in ecstasy there–because this JeJoue box really is that dreamy. Wrapped inside the luxurious packaging are not one but TWO sex toys, designed for a vulva and a penis: JeJoue’s G-Spot Bullet, and their famous Mio. The latter is a vibrating cock ring that can be worn during penetration…aaand has a large clitoral stimulator, right there on the ring. See why I was singing? 

Sexy Bonus: Get 20% off everything (no minimum purchase necessary) HERE with the code Emily20

Promescent Delay Spray 

It’s 2021: let’s normalize delay spray. With over 6,000 nerve endings, the penis is the most sensitive part of the body, and penis owners who have even more nerve endings usually need something to help control orgasm. That’s why this gift is a game-changer: it restricts the flow of ions through nerve cells, so penis-owners can last longer in bed. Stress-free, long-lasting lovemaking: happy holidays, everybody. 

Sexy bonus: Save 15% at Promescent by clicking HERE and the discount will be applied automatically at checkout.

For Your Bestie

Gifts to make ‘em go, “seriously? What did I do to deserve an *amazing* friend like you?”

Lace by Tanaya Crystal Hook Earrings

There’s a Venn diagram in this world, where boho style (hoop earrings) meets glam proclivities (crystals). And this is a precious, rare overlap, for your precious, rare friend, who would absolutely rock this look. Elevates jeans and a t-shirt? Check. Pairs well with a cocktail dress? Also check. Hoop earrings are a staple of any wardrobe, but we like these for the bestie who wants to keep things low-key…but sparkly, too.

The Because BEWBS Pillow 

Emily’s famous boob pillow! You know you want it…you know they want it. Your BFF will be like “omg you know me too well,” then immediately display it for houseguests, Instagram, and your own adoring eyes. 

Sex With Emily Vesper Necklace

Who’s brave enough to wear a vibrator around their neck? (Spoiler: your friend.) Grab this necklace for your boldest bestie, and pick the engraved phrase they’d like most: “I Come First,” “Turn Me On,” and “Meditate. Masturbate. Manifest.” They’ll love it as a conversation-starter—and a pleasure-starter, because guess what? It really is a vibrator.

Jillian Dempsey Gold Sculpting Bar

It’s a vibrator…for their face! More specifically, it’s a 24K gold-plated vibrating bar to massage their complexion, leaving once-puffy skin lifted, contoured, and fresh. A must-have for no-makeup days, so they can simply wake up, face-vibe, and meet you for brunch. 

Winc Wine Membership

For folks who love to host, this hip wine club is perfection. And whether they’re rose all day or red for days, they can filter for preferences, including things like low sugar, natural wines, vegan and more. How about they invite you over to test-drive some bottles when their first shipment comes in? Win-win. 

Vulva Bag

We love vulva-themed products—so why not use one to store all your makeup, sex toys, or other goodies?! Not only can this super-cute vulva bag remind you of how beautiful and dynamic vulvas are, but it’s also lightweight, easy to clean, and an obvious conversation piece. 

For the Sexually Adventurous 

For folks who like to take a walk on the wild side: 

Bondage Tape

Their eyes will widen (with delight) once you bust out this stuff. Listen – we’re not here to tell you how to do your bondage, except to say that other kinds of tape might not deliver the experience you’re looking for. Duct tape (yikes), Scotch tape (lol), even sexy-looking black electrical tape all fall short – but this, my friends…THIS does the trick. It’s reusable PVC tape that sticks to itself, meaning a pain-free removal – but most importantly, you’ll look hot as hell tearing off a piece with your teeth. 

Sexy Bonus: Currently only sale for only $7.99. Shop here.

Subscription for Bellesa

An ethical porn subscription is, truly, the gift that keeps on giving. And Bellesa Plus is the standard-bearer for porn that forefronts female pleasure, with hot story-driven videos they can enjoy solo…or together, with you. 

Sexy Bonus: Click HERE to get up to 90% off an annual Bellesa Plus membership, and receive a $30 gift card for toys on right away.

Trinity Sex Swing from Good Vibrations 

Have you ever tried a sex swing? Because once you do, you’ll instantly know you are l-i-v-i-n-g. The Trinity Sex Swing allows for a variety of positions and comes with padded supports, as well as a torque bar—for when the sex gets even more athletic.

Kiki Montparnasse Gold Handcuffs

Is that a 14k gold bracelet you’re wearing, or are you just happy to see me? These clever handcuffs go on like jewelry and stay on for bondage. Perfect for the person who loves a bit of bling…and a bit of power play. 

b-Vibe Jewel Butt Plug

Anal orgasms: they’re on the pleasure menu! And for booty newbies, a butt plug is the perfect place to start, so why not get one that vibrates? Also, why not get one with a pretty little jewel on it? Because this sparkly number has both, for anal play that’s ridiculously cute.  

b-Vibe Anal Training Kit

Just like you wouldn’t pop into the splits without first stretching your hamstrings, your sphincter muscles need to be properly prepared for anal—and once they are, get ready for OMG anal orgasms. The Anal Training Kit from B-Vibe was designed for rookies and experts alike, making it an ideal gift for anyone who’s ready to expand their orgasmic horizons. 


For Your New Boo

Oh hey there, sexy new stranger! Hold my beer while I blow your mind.

Sexy Chocolate: Liberate Your Libido

Chocolate is known as one of the classic aphrodisiacs, but these bars actually deliver on that reputation. Why? Because they’re made with libido-boosting ingredients, like fenugreek, damiana, maca and tribulus. This is a gift that implies, “no big deal, I got you chocolate!” while also suggesting, “I’d love to eat it together and have sex and evaluate the results.” Research, don’cha know.

Urban Stems Flower Delivery

Who doesn’t love a cheerful bouquet of flowers? No one, that’s who. And flowers for brand-new boo’s are a great choice: romantic, flirty, and appropriately ephemeral for the “getting to know each other” phase. Urban Stems makes my fave bouquets, with modern, on-trend flowers and artful arrangements. 

Tri-Me Triple Pack Lube Set 

When your partner’s lookin’ like a snack, why not treat them like one? This is a gift that says, “I’m looking after your sexual health because we all need lube sometimes….slash, I wouldn’t mind licking this off you.” And these flavored lubes from System Jo take your oral next level since each Tri-Me Triple Pack comes with a variety of flavors: think creme brulee, mint chocolate, and salted caramel. (Mmmm.)

Maude Massage Candle

At first glance, a candle as a gift is sweet, safe…but at second glance, they’ll realize this isn’t just any candle. Au contraire: this is the kind you’d like to drip on their body. This one is body-safe (because it’s all fun and games until someone gets a third-degree burn) and smells freakin’ amazing. With amber, cedar leaf, lemongrass, tonka bean, and Medjool date, it’s perfect for giving their house—or their glistening skin—a little TLC. 

Weighted Blanket

When you’ve hit the spending-the-night-at-each-other’s-places stage, this one’s a winner. Weighted blankets are a thing right now, and for good reason: they feel like a hug! This one simulates the effects of deep-pressure touch, for a comforting night’s sleep. Because a well-rested boo is a sexy boo. 

​​Just Dessert Chocolate Body Paint

Getting back to the things-you’d-like-to-smear-on-their-body theme, this gift is more versatile than you think—because it’s French chocolate, after all. One could top their fresh fruit with it…one could also drizzle it on their partner’s gorgeous torso. It’s a world of options, really, so why not give ‘em a jar and explore the possibilities? 

For the Sex Toy Connoisseur

You didn’t think we’d do a gift guide without telling you some of our favorite toys of 2021, did you? Nab these for anyone who prioritizes their pleasure—and that includes you: 

Demi Wand from Bellesa

Demi Lovato and Bellesa have teamed up to create a one-of-a-kind wand vibrator that uses the most cutting-edge technology in sex tech. What do we mean by that? The Demi Wand charges in its case. (A case that’s compact enough to fit right in your purse, mind you.) No more disappointing self-pleasure sessions where you realize your toy has totally lost its charge—the Demi Wand is there for you, whenever you need it. Plus, 8 vibration intensities (no pattern modes) means there’s truly something for every body. Happy playing!

Sexy bonus: Join Emily’s Naughty List and click here for free gifts, sex toy gift cards & porn all month long.

Dame Arc

No sex toy list would be complete without a vibrator that targets the g-spot, which heads up, is the female prostate. Do you like squirting? Do you like helping people to squirt? Because g-spot stimulation sure does help! And for vulva owners, this toy hits all the sweet spots, since it comes with a clitoral stimulating ridge as well. Who says you can’t have it all?

Sexy Bonus: 10% off all products HERE with code SEXWITHEMILY

We-Vibe Date Night Set

It’s the he said/she said of sex toys, but in this case, you’ll both be saying OMG. Why? Because this clever set comes with a toy for a penis owner (the Pivot) and a vulva owner (the Nova 2), and both are waterproof (two words: hot tub). We’re big fans of mutual masturbation, making this set an ideal way to try it out, or, you can take turns wearing each toy during intercourse. Plus – you can control these using the We Connect app, for sexy stimulation from anywhere in the world.

Womanizer Products (Premium 2, Classic 2, and Starlet 3)

Womanizer makes some of the most lusted-after sex toys around, and after rigorous (wink wink) testing, these three are the standouts. If they’re new to Womanizer, tell them this is the brand famous for “Pleasure Air” technology: pulsating airwaves that simulate the feeling of oral sex. We like these because they all deliver effortless O’s, but at different price points: you’ve got your Starlet 3 (most affordable), your Premium 2 (the “Prada of sex toys”), and your Classic 2 right in the middle. 

We-Vibe Bond Remote Vibrating Penis Ring 

So naughty, so fun: this is the toy for penis-owners who like a special surprise in their day. A ring they can wear underneath their clothes, it’s a “teasing wearable” that fits around the base of their penis. Using We Vibe’s We-Connect app, you can deliver them a vibrating, ultra-silent buzz, from long-distance…and since it targets the perineum (that sensitive area between penis and anus), it’s a surprise they’ll definitely notice. 

ArcWave Ion 

Following in that same vein (…get it), this is a toy for penis-owners that also targets undiscovered nerve endings, and doses them with pleasure. That’s because it uses pulsing airwaves to stimulate the frenulum, a small piece of tissue on the underside of the penis, that has the same pleasure receptors as the clitoris. Masturbation, oral sex, and penetration are all fantastic…but NONE of them activate these receptors. So when I say “they’ve never had an orgasm like this,” trust – it’s not an exaggeration.

Dame Pom

What’s this: a flexible vibrator? How…? Where’s the motor…? Through a feat of engineering (and possibly magic), this toy has no internal body, yet somehow delivers near-silent rumbles at 5 intensity levels. Vulvas come in all shapes and sizes, as do clitorises, so I’m loving that you can bend this toy however you want, while vibrating, for totally targeted pleasure. 

Sexy Bonus: 10% off all products HERE with code SEXWITHEMILY

Je Joue Mimi

For vulva-owners who don’t just want another toy to play with, but a real experience during solo sex, this one win’s the gold star. Here’s a toy with ultra-low-frequency vibrations that transfer deep into the body, accessing hidden clitoral nerve endings. This is a gift for anyone who craves a totally new type of orgasm because it invites those once-lonely nerve endings to the party. 

Sexy Bonus: 20% off on everything (no minimum purchase necessary) HERE with code Emily20

For the Master Manifester

Light some candles, open some chakras, and get down with gifts from the divine: 

The Astrology of Love and Sex

Gone are the days of “what’s your sign, baby?” It’s 2021, and when it comes to astrology, we’ve all taken a collective shift: we’re ready for nuanced star reads that tell us our sexual compatibility, our relational styles, and more. If this sounds like your friend or lover (or…you), look no further than Annabel Gat, beloved VICE astrologer since 2015. Her gorgeous book is a compass for cosmic love, making it a useful companion for dating, relationship-building, and even casual hook-ups.

Use Your Planets Wisely by Dr. Jennifer Freed

“Oh, that’s so Virgo of you…” – know anyone who says this? Because they will fawn all over this book, written by a therapist who combines psychology and astrology. No matter our sign, we’re not just a Leo or just a Capricorn: we are the sum total of cosmic orchestration, and that affects how we communicate and show up in relationships. Leave it to the author, the wonderful Dr. Jennifer Freed, to write an astrology book that helps people not only understand their sign but their psyche.

Shope Geo Essential Crystal Collection

Who here likes to get a wee bit witchy? If that includes you (or your friend, or your lover), then this exquisitely packaged crystal set is a no-brainer. But these stones aren’t only gorgeous, they’re aligned to chakras, for targeted intention-setting. Let the crystal healing commence.  

Crystal Bliss by Devi Brown

Real talk: what exactly are crystals, and how can you work with them for better sex, sleep, and energy? Just flip open these pages, because this book tells you. An ideal read for folks who like to explore unique healing modalities, this guide offers a fresh approach to healing crystals with advice for selecting, preparing, and using these beautiful stones for meditation and energy healing.

Moon Juice Sex Dust

Make your next latte or hot chocolate a little lusty, by mixing in Moon Juice Sex Dust. An adaptogenic blend made with Shatavari, Shilajit, Epimedium, Schisandra, Cacao, and Maca, each spoonful supports healthy hormonal balance – for sexy times, anytime. 

House of Intuition Intention Candles

Manifest blessings at your next ceremony, with Intention Candles from House of Intuition. Each one is lovingly mixed to help you tap into your power — and witness it in the world. From lightly-scented zodiac blends dressed with crystals to specific intention blends (like the Obstacle Remover Magic Candle, Creativity Magic Candle, and Honor Your Ancestors Magic Candle), every candle is beautiful, sustainable, and the perfect offering to your spirit guides. 

For the Wellness Junkie

Are they a sucker for glowing skin, adaptogens, and cleaning everything? Look no further: 

Smart Jump Rope 

We all know jump rope: no-frills, leg-sculpting cardio. But now, the humble rope just got some fancy bells and whistles that your fitness friends will drool over. The Smart Jump Rope has Bluetooth connectivity and 23 LED’s to display your jump count in mid-air, making it a portable, yet highly advanced, piece of workout equipment. So long, cramped hotel gyms! 

Sakara Discovery Kit

Let’s be honest: packaged snacks from the store (or gas station) are less than inspiring. But for healthy folks who are constantly on the go, Sakara’s Discovery Kit really is a treasure trove: it’s a full-sized package of plant-based goodies, like a mix-and-go Protein + Greens pack. This is a gift that says – “you’re busy, you’re fabulous, I got you.” 

Womaness Products

PSA: menopause isn’t the end of sex (or sexiness). It’s a natural change, and woman-owned Womaness is a brand that offers supplements, sex toys, and topicals that make this life stage not only fun…but pretty hot, too. Slip them anything from this brand (I love the Daily V Soothe) to make them feel not only seen, but pampered.

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