In this Sex with Emily episode, Dr. Emily’s first guest in the new studio is psychologist Dr. Scott Lyons, author of Addicted to Drama: Healing Dependency on Crisis and Chaos in Yourself and Others.
Dr. Lyons reveals how drama addiction isn’t just obvious chaos, it’s overscheduling, inability to tolerate stillness, and sabotaging intimacy when vulnerability feels threatening. He explains the biology: drama provides energy, numbs pain, and creates sensation that makes us feel alive.
Listener questions address a 21-year-old spiraling after her boyfriend called an actress sexy, and a 30-year-old wanting kinkier sex but getting triggered.
Dr. Lyons and Dr. Emily emphasize distinguishing sensation-seeking from authentic connection, coming back to the body when triggered, and recognizing how childhood patterns shape adult sexuality and relationships.
Timestamps:
0:00 – Intro
3:32 – The Hidden Signs of Drama Addiction You Might Be Missing
9:24 – How Trauma Lives in Your Body and Shapes Your Behavior
13:36 – Why Drama Shows Up in Your Relationships and Sex Life
15:37 – Why Do I Feel Terrible When My Partner Comments on Other People?
27:35 – The Currency of Love: How Childhood Chaos Affects Adult Relationships
33:48 – I Want Freaky Sex But My Body Keeps Freezing Up
42:52 – Understanding Dissociation and Finding Your Way Back Home
50:00 – How Drama Addiction Blocks True Sexual Pleasure and Intimacy
52:32 – Five Quickie Questions with Dr. Scott Lyons
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