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magic wand

Even in the “hookup culture,” the stigma still remains when it comes to casual sex. On today’s show, Emily’s here to reframe the way we think about casual sex– whether you are all for it, hesitant, or it just isn’t your thing.

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Everyone has a different definition when it comes to “great sex.” What constitutes it? What makes it kinky, or what keeps it vanilla? The variety of answers go on and on. On today’s show, Emily is helping listeners like you figure out what great sex means to them and how to talk to their partners about it!

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I’ve been hearing about this Magic Wand for well over a decade now. Unfortunately, I was sexually stunted all through my 20’s, meaning I didn’t even buy my first vibrator until my mid 30’s. Mostly because the patriarchy still isn’t 100% on board with women’s pleasure. It doesn’t want sexually empowered lionesses who put our own needs, especially orgasms, first. No, women like us are a serious threat to the power structure and, therefore, have been slut-shamed into oblivion.

This kind of cultural brainwashing, plus my Southern upbringing, resulted in me being a sexual prude for a long ass time. A prude too ashamed to masturbate, even in college, despite the fact my friends were having threesomes by then. The fact I’d never been with a man who’d given me those fireworks-style orgasms probably had something to do with it, too. Either way, ignorance and shame turned me into a sexual Debbie Downer who just assumed orgasms weren’t in the cards for me.

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Q: Dear Emily,

I have been having sex with my girlfriend for eight months now, and was a virgin before her. Although she’s a lot more experienced than me sexually, she has never been in a same-sex relationship before, and we are figuring everything out together. The sex that we have is amazing, but up until now we’ve gone solo equipment-wise. We’re now looking to bring some toys into the bedroom, and I’m looking for ideas.

You talk about different toys that you enjoy on your show, but it’s mostly in reference to masturbation. Do you have any recommendations for a lesbian couple? We both really enjoy external stimulation, but are open to anything! Love the show and thanks for the help!

Elizabeth, 23

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Pat yourselves on the backs, lovers; so many of you are kicking your bad habits to the curb and making better choices for a better sex life! On today’s Quickie, Emily shares even more of the Spring Cleaning responses she loved so much, and (drum roll, please!) reveals the contest winner! Who’s adding a Magic Wand to their sex toy collection? Find out!

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When it comes to sex and the way we do it, the possibilities are virtually endless. But many couples can find themselves in the auto-loop cycle of makeout, missionary, mission complete. While reaching climax is certainly an end goal when it comes to sex, it doesn’t have to be the sole purpose of every sexual encounter you have with your partner. Sex is like a sundae; ice cream by itself is a tasty treat, but there are lots and lots of toppings you can add to make it even better.

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