Few things have gained mythical sex status like the G-spot. You’d think we were going on an actual quest by the way we describe its coordinates: “Go two to three inches inside the vagina, find the front wall, feel for a spongy patch of skin.” These directions, while helpful, miss the bigger picture. Pleasure isn’t just about pinpointing a spot—it’s about understanding an area.
Welcome to the G-area.
Contrary to the name, the G-spot is more than just a single “spot” and actually encompasses a broader erogenous region that’s part of the internal clitoral network. This area is packed with nerve endings and has the potential to unlock everything from deep internal orgasms to squirting, but it requires a deeper anatomical understanding—particularly of the clitoris.
The key to G-area pleasure lies in understanding female erections.
That’s right: the clitoris gets erect.
We do not see these erections because they happen internally. And contrary to what you may have heard about the clitoris, it’s so much more than the small nub you can see on the outside. That is just one part of it, the glans clitoris.
When you’re aroused, this large organ actually swells on the inside. I find that when you’re really dropped into your body and present, you can feel it.
Blood flow shoots up when we’re turned on, engorging our genitals and making them more sensitive to the touch. This changes the size and accessibility of the G-spot.
It takes about 40 minutes on average for the clitoris to become fully erect. Yet because the scientific community has only studied female sexuality in earnest for the past few decades, many of us might think 40 minutes is an overly long time. That’s because contemporary sexuality research has used the male body as its lens since the 1800s, and this has skewed our expectations of what sex should look like and how we should pursue pleasure.
Stimulating the G-area means changing your perspective on sex.
Because clitorises get erect slowly and steadily, diving right into the vulva (your lover’s or your own) is not the move for G-area stimulation. This is why women report flinching or tensing up if their partner inserts fingers too soon during foreplay. It’s not that they don’t like that activity, they just might not be ready. Similar to someone with a flaccid penis: they might enjoy handjobs, they’re just not ready yet.
So think about slow, steady forms of stimulation that increase arousal. Things like:
- Teasing and flirting
- Kissing and dirty talk
- Making out and caressing their body over their clothes
- Nipple play over clothes or bra
- Teasing them above their underwear
The most important thing is connecting energetically with your partner, whether you’re flirting over dinner or making out on the couch. This is the kind of approach that allows enough time for the clitoris to become erect, and for the person to become turned on organically, from the inside. You want them to be so aroused they’re begging for more, and once they are, here are five ways to pleasure the G-area specifically.
(Btw, you can do all of these with a partner or on yourself as a sexy solo.)
1. Use a rumbly toy on the glans clitoris
Ultra low frequency vibrations have the ability to travel deep inside the body. That’s why vibrators made with these types of motors feel different than older, “buzzier” models that were really made to stimulate nerve endings closer to the surface of the skin. Je Joue was the brand that pioneered this technology and works with the Gynecological Association to study female anatomy; I like the Hera Flex because it offers both external and internal vibration options and has a flexible, fully customizable shaft that bends to suit all different body types.
The shorter arm of the toy can be slicked with lube and applied directly to the clitoris. Trust me, the vibes are amazing. But you can also feel them traveling deeper, to points inside the internal clitoral network. If you’re applying this to a partner, work it into foreplay and ask them what setting and pressure they like.
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2. Explore vibrations internally
As discussed, the G-area changes size once the clitoris is fully erect and the person is aroused. A good way to test for arousal is by looking at the glans clitoris. During arousal the clitoral hood pulls back and the external nub becomes engorged, making it more visible.
The straight, phallic dildos and G-area toys of yesteryear didn’t do a great job servicing vulvas. But today’s G-area toys curve to follow the contours of the vagina. Even better with the Hera Flex is the vibration function, which starts at a very low setting – and that’s good for the G-area. Going hard all at once can numb the nerve endings inside, so allow for a slow build-up of intensity. If you’re doing this with a partner, you can try this during a mutual masturbation session.
3. Give a G-area massage
This can happen during masturbation or erotic massage. After taking time to stimulate every erogenous zone you can think of, insert just one finger and slowly pulse. Generally aim for about 2 to 3 inches on the inside, on the front wall.
From there, experiment with rubbing in a circular motion. Then move the pad of the finger up and down with pressure. I recommend lube and stimulating another erogenous zone simultaneously when you’re giving a G-area massage, like caressing the sides of the waist or rubbing the inner thighs.
4. Try for dual stimulation
You can also pleasure two spots together: the glans clitoris and the G-area. This is the tried-and-true method for the coveted blended orgasm.
Slick the toy, like the Hera Flex, with lube before mindfully inserting the larger arm. Turning on the toy at a low setting, it’s important to breathe deeply and sink into the sensations with full focus. Dual stimulation is a lot to take (in a good way!) so it’s OK to stop and take breaks, especially if the nerve endings feel like they’re numbing out.
5. Have sex in modified doggy style
Rear entry positions like doggy style amplify G-area stimulation because the vagina is in a tilted angle. There’s also still plenty of room for the receiving partner to simultaneously use a toy on their glans clitoris.
Lots of women report the best orgasms of their lives happening when they’re being penetrated by a partner, but using a toy on the outside. To try this technique, apply lube to the toy, and get it into a good position prior to insertion.
If you’ve been following along with these steps, then the Hera Flex is still a great option here. Flip it so that the longer insertion arm is vibrating on the glans clitoris during penetration. While the penis stimulates the G-area from the outside, the toy will send vibrations up from the inside. The resulting orgasm is powerful!
I hope these ideas inspire you for your next sex sesh! Which ones do you love, and which ones are new to you? Come find me on Instagram @sexwithemily and let’s talk.
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