Let’s be real. Stressful workdays, at-home responsibilities, or the addition of little ones can take a serious toll on sexy time in general, let alone at the end of a long day.
That’s why we need to be intentional about infusing intimacy into our lives and relationships. And what better way to begin than ensuring every day has a *happy ending* of sorts.
Try these tips to transform your sleepy PM rituals into a sexy bedtime routine you’ll countdown to each day.
1.) Set the mood.
Take a look at your bedroom. Do you instantly tense up, or does it bring a sense of calm? When it comes to your bedroom, it helps to see it as a relaxing retreat, not just a designated space for sleep.
By designing your space to foster intimacy, you and your partner can co-create a sanctuary that fosters togetherness. Consider these room-boosting moves for nighttime and beyond.
Clear the clutter.
Pausing to push piles of yesterday’s clothes off the bed or catching sight of a nagging stack of bills can be an instant mood killer. Tidy up your bedroom so it’s free of distractions and primed for pleasure.
Freshen up your bed.
You know that gloriously uninhibited feeling of slipping into bed at a chic boutique hotel? That’s the vibe we’re going for here.
Switch your space into vacation mode with little details that do a lot, like clean sheets, stylish linens, and alluring fragrances that arouse the senses. Splurge on a seductive massage candle from Je Joue in libido-lifting scents like sexy Ylang Ylang Mandarin and velvety Jasmine Lily.
Designate your bedroom a no-phone zone.
Responding to your pinging phone during an intimate encounter? No way, babe. I may even go as far as to call this a deal breaker — at least for the night.
Instead of competing with the apps and notifications that take enough of your attention during the day, come to a mutual agreement with your partner that phones stay silent and out of the bedroom at night. By swapping out screen time for good old fashioned face time, you set healthy boundaries that give you the closeness you crave.
Create a sexy playlist.
Compile a mix of songs that turn you on. Better yet, get your partner in the fun by making it a shared playlist, so they can add their favorite slow jams and sultry songs, too. Or have technology do the work for you.. “Hey Alexa, play a lowkey sexy playlist.”
2.) Turn nighttime prep into a couple’s affair.
Start with a shower where you lather each other up and relish in one another’s touch. Make it a massage if you’re feeling it. After that, prep for bed together. Brushing your teeth side-by-side can be playful, hell, brush your partner’s hair for them. That gentle stroke of a brush or comb can be a total turn-on.
To further set the mood before you head to the bedroom, you can try a couple of VIIA Hemp Co.’s High Love THC Libido Gummies**. Haven’t mixed CBD and THC with your love life yet? Level up your libido with these little mood makers. High Love pairs aphrodisiac herbs with 5mg of THC to boost your libido, blood flow, and pleasure all at once.
3.) Upgrade your PM wardrobe (or pare it way down).
If your go-to cozy clothes are looking a little too cozy, consider investing in sexy undies to slip on underneath your favorite sweats or liven up weekday foreplay with unexpected lingerie.
Not looking for new additions? No problem. Dare I say, encouraged. Instead, slide into bed wearing nothing at all and see where that look takes you.
4.) Hop into bed with a sexy to-do or two.
While there’s no need for a formal itinerary, having an idea of sensual activities you enjoy (and new ones you’ve been wanting to try) can’t hurt. Here are a few to get you started:
Give your partner a sensual massage.
Or have them take the lead. Light up your bedside table with a sultry massage candle. I love this one from LELO. The deliciously-scented wax from drips perfectly onto your hands and your partner’s body.
Before you pour it on your partner, be sure to blow out the candle and do a temperature check on your hands. Once the temp’s good, knead your partner’s body with your hands at varying intensities until you decide whether you want to turn them on or bring them to the finish line.
Lay back and enjoy some erotic entertainment.
From listening to audio erotica to watching a sexy movie, you and your partner can get revved up and even inspired by sexy stories that give you time to relax into bed together. Prefer to fully unplug? Pick up a collection of erotica short stories before heading to the bedroom and take turns reading pages to one another.
Destress and connect by pleasuring one another.
Whether you opt for oral, go solo side-by-side in a mutual masturbation session, end the night with sex, or go for a marathon makeout session, physical touch is the best way to punctuate your day, because it brings you and your partner together, no matter how much work sucked or you’re dreading an obligatory event the next day.
When we say, “How about tomorrow?” too many tomorrows in a row, we’re cheating ourselves out of life’s most meaningful moments. That’s why folding pleasure into your nighttime routine is so important.
Explore your fantasies through role-play.
Consider shaking up your typical bedtime behavior with role-play that invites you to go beyond what you normally do. Start slowly by simply changing your name or go all out and pick up a costume.
No matter how you go about role-play, remember my mantra: communication is lubrication. Talk about it. Brainstorm characters and scenarios and set boundaries that ensure everyone’s comfortable. On the fence? Here’s a little help from my beginner’s guide to role-play.
5.) Dedicate the morning to Y-O-U.
Wanna know the secret to pleasing your partner? Start your day by pleasing yourself. (AKA self-care.)
A healthy relationship requires you and your partner to love and care for yourselves individually so that when you come together, you’re pouring out that passion from a full cup. So how about taking up the sexiest morning routine ever for your irresistible self?
6.) Keep it going, and keep it fresh. You (both) deserve it.
The best way to end the day won’t just happen. You need to make it happen. That’s where a routine comes into play.
Tired tonight? Totally get it! Rather than pass on pleasure altogether, swap the lingerie for nothing at all and pare down your sexy time to something sensual but lowkey.
And don’t forget, you’ve got a partner to help keep it fresh. Want to try something new? Send them a mid-day text with inspiration for later or ask them to pitch their hottest idea. Guaranteed their response will get you excited for later on, no matter what your work day brings.
For more ways to spice up your weekdays, sign up for my newsletter to get sexy tips sent right to your inbox.
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***Lelo Flickering Massage Candle & Je Joue Massage Candle are available on shop.sexwithemily.com, now offering free shipping on orders over $69.
