Threesomes are one of the most popular sex fantasies on the planet, and for good reason. Tons of touch…tons of attention…tons of novelty. 

But turning a threesome from a fantasy into a reality requires preparation. On the emotions front, I go into the essential pre-threesome conversations, how to handle challenging feelings, and how to find a third all right here.

It also requires position prep! Compared to partner sex, threesome sex isn’t always intuitive. It’s helpful to see set-ups for a ​​ménage à trois. And while you can hop on ethical porn sites to get inspiration, consider this your guide to foundational threesome sex positions. 

Grab your lube and gather your lovers…let’s get into it. 

Three-Play

Just like foreplay, but with three people. Essentially it’s a group makeout, where you explore each other’s bodies with hands and mouths…no penetration just yet. 

This is an amazing time to explore mutual masturbation, touching yourselves while you touch each other. Toys work beautifully here, either to stimulate yourselves or your lovers. A small, versatile bullet like the Magic Wand Micro helps blood rush to the genitals, while a full-on Magic Wand Plus allows you to try out erotic massage on each other as you warm up to the act. Options!  

Daisy Chain

Working oral into the mix, this is the sex version of Human Centipede. Everyone’s going down on each other, and everyone returns the favor. Coming full circle.  

The Coach

If your crew likes kink and roleplay, this one’s for you. Two people are engaged in penetration, while the third person (the “coach”) calls the shots. If you’re the third, you can work praise kink into it with phrases like good, just like that or you’re doing such a good job. 

If you’re a more Dom “coach,” you can make that part of your character. Think phrases like:

• Do it exactly as I show you
• Watch me do it the right way
• Don’t stop until I say so

This is a good time to mention consent. As with all kink, make sure all parties have signed on to this type of play before engaging in it. 

Doggy & Kitty

In this position, one person sits on the edge of the bed, while receiving oral from a partner. Simultaneously, the oral-giving partner is getting penetrated from behind, doggy style. Teamwork makes the dream work! 

Two For One

Once again, everyone’s got a job – and everyone’s getting pleasure. One partner lays down flat on their back, and enjoys penetrative sex. Meanwhile, another partner is face-sitting them and receiving oral. 

Eiffel Tower

This one is similar to Doggy & Kitty, but the middle is on all fours. While they give oral to one partner, they get penetrated from behind, doggy style. High five! Pleasure is reaching new heights. 

Double Penetration

I’m including double penetration here as a foundational threesome position, but DO KNOW that this is quite advanced. Especially for the receiver, who has a vulva.

In this position, the partner with a vulva is on top, having penetrative sex. At the same time, another partner is penetrating their anus from behind. Communicate a lot before trying this position: it’s a common fantasy for those with a vulva, but everyone needs to move slowly as you get into it.

More pro tips: use ample lube, particularly for anal penetration. This position tends to work best if only one partner thrusts, while the other remains still – much more pleasurable for the receiver. Finally, no double dipping! Aka, no going from anal penetration to vaginal penetration. Either save this one for the grand finale, or wash your penis/toy thoroughly if you penetrated anally. 

PS: if you’re brand new to anal, here’s an article on how to train for it. 

Not ready to dive right into a threesome? Cue.. The Fantasy Threesome

This is a great way to start transitioning fantasy into reality. In this position, it’s still just two people…but you’re using props, and imagining a third together. 

Blindfold your partner, and use your mouth and fingers strategically to create the illusion of another person. Lube is your co-pilot: it’s going to help you pull off this creative roleplay, and there are a couple ways to do it:

• Apply lube to your finger to create the sensation of another tongue. While you’re going down on your partner, run the finger over their nipples or neck, to mimic licking.
• Lube up both of your hands, and get in a 69 position – you on top. If your partner has a penis, press your hands around it (so that it feels like a vagina), while they go down on you.

Don’t be afraid to talk to each other while this is happening, narrating what’s going on with all “three” of you. 

Which position are you dying to try? Come find me on Instagram @sexwithemily and tell me your fave.

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