“Dear Emily, I keep hearing about blended orgasms, but what exactly are they? And how can I have one?”

I’m so glad you asked! Because if there’s one thing I’ve learned from 20 years of talking about sex, it’s that most of us have no idea how much pleasure our bodies are capable of experiencing.

A blended orgasm is when you combine two types of stimulation, usually external clitoral stimulation with internal G-spot stimulation, to experience an orgasm. And for some women, this combination can create an orgasm that feels deeper, fuller, or more intense than what they’re used to.

Now, does that mean a blended orgasm is somehow better than a clitoral orgasm? Absolutely not. I never want you to feel like there’s some sexual achievement you’re missing out on.

But I do want you to know what’s possible! Because the more you understand your body, the more ways you have to experience pleasure.

And there’s a particular way I like to recommend exploring blended orgasms.

How to Explore a Blended Orgasm

1. Get Really Aroused First

I know I talk about arousal all the time, but there’s a reason. So many people rush through it, and then wonder why sex doesn’t feel as good as they’d hoped.

Your body needs time to get turned on. As arousal builds, blood flow increases to your clitoris and surrounding tissues, making them more engorged and responsive to stimulation.

So spend some time getting into your body. Fantasize, touch yourself, use your favorite vibrator. Whatever helps you feel turned on.

And remember, the clitoris isn’t just that little external part you can see. It has an entire internal structure made up of erectile tissue, which is part of what makes exploring different kinds of stimulation so interesting.

2. Have a Clitoral Orgasm First

This is one of my favorite tips.

If you already know how to have a clitoral orgasm, start there. Use your fingers or your favorite vibrator, and get yourself really aroused.

Why do I recommend this? Because you’ve already increased blood flow and engaged the nerve pathways involved in pleasure. For some women, having a clitoral orgasm first makes their bodies more responsive to internal stimulation afterward.

Think of it as waking everything up.

Now, some women become super sensitive after an orgasm and want a break, while others are ready to keep going. If you’re in the second group, this can be a great time to explore.

And if you don’t orgasm first, that’s okay too. You can still experiment with blended stimulation.

3. Explore Your G-Spot

Once you’re aroused, you can start exploring internal stimulation.

The G-spot is a sensitive area along the front wall of the vagina, a few inches inside. Some women find pressure in this area really pleasurable, especially when they’re already turned on.

Try using a finger in a gentle come-hither motion, or explore with an internal vibrator like LELO’s MONA™ Twist, which is curved to help stimulate this area. LELO’s Twist line features medical-grade, fully waterproof silicone with ultra-soft sensorial ribs that distribute sensations across more nerve endings for an enhanced experience. 

I recommend using lube and experimenting with different kinds of pressure. You might prefer a slow, steady motion or a firmer touch.

And don’t expect G-spot stimulation to feel exactly like clitoral stimulation. For some women, it’s more of a deep, spreading sensation.

There isn’t one specific feeling you’re supposed to have. You’re figuring out what feels good to you.

4. Combine the Two Sensations

Now that you’ve explored what feels good externally and internally, try combining them.

You can stimulate your clitoris with a vibrator while using your fingers internally. Or you can use a dual-stimulation toy like LELO’s INA™ Twist, designed to stimulate the clitoris and G-spot area at the same time. 

With a bunch of intensity levels and multiple vibration patterns, you can play around with different sensations and see which combination works for you.

My advice is to start slowly. You don’t need to turn everything up to the highest setting. Sometimes the right amount of pressure and a consistent rhythm are much more important than intensity. And with LELO’s SmoothRise technology, you can gently transition through intensity levels for maximum comfort with no sudden jumps. 

And when something feels really good, stay with it! Don’t feel like you have to keep changing things.

You may notice the sensations start to blend together, or that your orgasm feels different from the clitoral orgasms you’re used to.

And if you don’t have a blended orgasm, don’t worry about it. You’ve still learned something new about your body.

5. Try It With a Partner

You can also bring a partner into the experience.

Try stimulating your clitoris with a vibrator during penetration, or have your partner use their fingers internally while you stimulate your clitoris.

LELO’s TIANI™ Twist is another option designed to add clitoral stimulation and shared vibrations during partnered sex.

And remember, communication is lubrication! Tell your partner what feels good. Show them where you like to be touched, how much pressure you want, and when you want them to keep doing exactly what they’re doing.

The more you explore your own body, the easier it becomes to share that information with someone else.

It’s About Pleasure, Not Pressure

One thing I really want you to remember is that orgasms aren’t something you need to collect or master.

We already put enough pressure on ourselves when it comes to sex. We worry about whether we’re having enough of it, whether we’re doing it right, and whether we’re having the orgasms we’re supposed to be having.

I don’t want blended orgasms to become another thing on that list.

I want you to be curious about your body.

Because here’s what happens to a lot of us: We discover a way to orgasm that works, and we stick with it. Which is great! But sometimes we stop experimenting altogether.

And there’s so much pleasure we may never discover if we don’t give ourselves permission to try something new.

So experiment with different kinds of touch. Give yourself more time to get aroused. See what happens when you combine sensations.

Maybe you’ll experience a blended orgasm. Maybe you’ll discover a new way you love being touched.

Either way, you’re getting to know your body better.

And that’s really what great sex is about.

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