Whether you’re questioning who you’re attracted to or wondering why someone incredible on paper leaves you feeling nothing below the waist, you’re not alone. In this episode, I unpack the messy, confusing space between wanting someone and wanting to build a life with them—and why those two things don’t always line up.
From a woman who’s always identified as straight but can’t stop fantasizing about women, to a listener who’s been getting nothing but one-arm hugs after six dates, I get into the questions most people are too afraid to ask out loud. I also share what the science actually says about attraction—including why your post-gym crush might not be as real as it feels, and what your birth control could be doing to your “type.”
In this episode, you’ll learn:
• Why putting a label on your sexuality might be the last thing you need to do right now—and what to try instead
• The conversation that can save you months (or years) of wondering where you stand with someone who won’t make a move
• What to do when you and your partner are both waiting for the other person to take control in bed
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• Sex With Emily Guides: https://sexwithemily.com/guides/ – Explore pleasure, deepen connections, and enhance intimacy using these Sex With Emily downloadable guides.
• The only sex book you’ll ever need: Smart Sex: How to Boost Your Sex IQ and Own Your Pleasure
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Timestamps:
0:00 – Introduction
1:56 – The science of sexual attraction
5:01 – You can want someone without wanting to date them
6:12 – Surprising facts about who you’re attracted to (and why)
9:19 – “Am I bisexual or do I just think women are hot?”
10:50 – The one-arm hug situation
15:25 – When your partner’s meds killed your sex life
20:40 – 19 years married and ready to give up
25:31 – How to rekindle the spark after years together
