Dominance isn’t just about taking control – it’s about setting the tone for erotic play. Stepping into a dominant role can heighten desire, amplify anticipation, and create a powerful energy exchange between partners. At its core, dominance is about confidence and intentionality: you decide the pace, the depth, and the direction. Done right, it isn’t about power over someone – it’s about power shared, where one person leads so both can surrender to the moment.
Whether you’re naturally commanding or just curious to experiment, dominant positions offer a way to embody authority and unlock a new kind of intimacy. And yes – adding the right toy can take it to a whole new level.
How to Incorporate Dominance into the Bedroom
Start with communication: ask your partner how they feel about you taking control, what their boundaries are, and what dynamics turn them on. Dominance can show up in subtle ways (like giving instructions or using eye contact) or through bold gestures (pinning hands, changing angles, or introducing toys). Think of positions not just as physical setups, but as opportunities to embody presence and command.
Dominant Positions (+ Toys That Make Them Even Hotter)
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Cowgirl/Cowboy
Classic, yes – but when you’re riding your partner, you’re the one dictating the rhythm, pressure, and depth. You can grind, bounce, or tease with long pauses. The power is all yours.
Toy pairing: LELO Tor 3* – this sleek vibrating penis ring adds intensity for both partners, amplifying your every move.
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Face-Down Rear Entry
With your partner on hands and knees, you set the pace from behind. The angle gives you leverage and visual dominance, plus the ability to press them down or pull them closer.
Toy pairing: LELO Enigma DoubleSonic*– a dual-action sonic massager that can be used on the receiver during penetration for a blended climax experience.
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Chair Straddle
Have your partner sit on a sturdy chair while you straddle them, facing forward. You control the motion while also restricting their movement (bonus points if their hands are bound to the chair).
Toy pairing: LELO Sona 3 Cruise* – perfect for clitoral stimulation while you stay in command, hands free to steady yourself or hold their face for eye contact.
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The Pin Down (Missionary with a Twist)
Lie your partner on their back and pin their wrists above their head while straddling them. The physical restraint shifts the energy instantly: you’re in charge, they’re at your mercy.
Toy pairing: LELO F2S*– give your partner a taste of submission with this high-tech male masturbator while you set the pace, deciding when they get release.
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Standing Takeover
Have your partner bend forward against a wall, table, or counter while you take them from behind. This upright position is raw, fast, and makes it clear who’s running the show.
Toy pairing: LELO Hugo 2* – a prostate massager that can be worn hands-free, leaving you fully in charge of rhythm while they ride waves of deep stimulation.
Dominance in the bedroom is about intention, energy, and choice. Positions that put you in command can make sex more adventurous, more connected, and more intensely pleasurable. Add a toy to the mix, and you don’t just take control – you redefine it.
Step Into Control
If you’re curious about stepping into a dominant role but not sure where to start, check out my guide on How to Become More Dominant in Bed. And if you want to master the art of verbal dominance, How to Talk Like a Dom for Better Sex has you covered.
*Want to try these positions with the perfect toy pairing? Use code EMILY15 at lelo.com for 15% off — a stackable discount just for you.
