Let’s cut right to the chase: are you one for intimate, eye contact-filled, almost-no-physical-space-between-your-two-bodies sex? If that’s the case, allow me to introduce you to lotus: a sex position you may have tried before, even if you didn’t know its name.
I had Barbara Carellas of Urban Tantra on the show recently, who gave us the low-down on tantric sex and its benefits: deep partner connection, energy orgasms, full-body stimulation. And the most famous tantric position of all? The lotus. I love it so much, I devoted part of my Masterclass to it – and now, I’m gonna break it down for you.
What is the lotus position?
Lotus involves the penetrating partner sitting down, criss-cross applesauce, with the receiving partner seated in their lap – facing towards them chest-to-chest, legs straddling the torso. From here, either vaginal penetration or anal penetration can occur, through a penis, dildo, or fingers.
Why try it?
This position is tantric not necessarily due to its configuration, but because of the intimate energy, it fosters between partners. You can be slow and soulful, or vigorous and wild – all with relative hand freedom, not to mention a nice angle to nibble each other’s necks, or caress each other’s thighs.
Because it’s physically comfortable (with none of the safety precautions of, say, reverse cowgirl), this makes lotus versatile enough to match your mood. Do you feel like making love? Lotus is your friend. Do you want a quickie on a solid surface? Again – lotus! You can infuse this position with tons of romance and heat, given the super-close proximity.
What are the benefits?
Vulva owners love the lotus because it allows for generous clitoral stimulation: you can rub it on your partner’s torso, lean back and use a toy on it, or have the receiving partner press it with their fingers. There’s also a pretty sexy view happening here – so sexy, that if you’re a penis owner, a delay spray might be in order. Look no further than Promescent if you’re in the market; it helps those sensitive nerve endings in the penis chill out a bit, so orgasms can happen with more control.
Another rad benefit: it’s accessible! As in, it’s not exclusive to able bodies. Lotus can happen with one person in a wheelchair, with lots of room for the vulva or anal play.
How can I spice it up?
Not gonna lie – lotus is already pretty spicy! But many physical variations can happen here, making lotus easy to tailor to your most ideal sexual experience. You can try…
- Having the receiving partner brace their hands behind them, and lean back
- Conversely, embracing each other tight, heart-to-heart
- Turning it into a slow grind, with lots of deep penetration
- Having the receiving partner wrap their legs tight around the other person’s torso
- Having the penetrating partner grab the hips or butt of the other person
- Making out while you do it
- Mouth-on-nipple action
- Having the receiving partner drape their legs over the penetrating partner’s shoulders (note – this requires legit hamstring flexibility. But if you have a vulva and can pull it off, all the better to hit your G-Spot.) We call this “Draped Lotus.”
- Flipping around: the receiving partner switches their position, so their back is to their partner’s chest
As you can see, there are loooots of ways to innovate and make lotus your own.
Not many. The lotus (or the “yab-yum” as it’s called in Tantra) has been around for, literally, thousands of years. That being said, there are a few things you should know:
- The top partner is putting all of their body weight on the bottom partner, so bottom partners: speak up if that’s uncomfortable!
- It also requires the bottom partner to have pretty open hips. If you don’t, but would like to try lotus, consider practicing another lotus position: the one we find in yoga.
Can we get spiritual?
Absolutely! To tap into the tantric side of the lotus, introduce additional tantric principles during the position to enhance the intimacy and connection. You can try…
- Breathing deeply
- Gazing into each other’s eyes
- Staying mindful of your body’s pleasure
- Moving in slow, meaningful rhythms
These are just a few tantric principles that can help you make the most of this deeply intimate position.
Sound wonderful? Yeah, it does. Now go out and enjoy all the connection – and pleasure – lotus has to offer.