While orgasms certainly aren’t the “point” of sex, you have to admit – they’re a pretty nice bonus. 

As the most pleasurable muscle contractions out there, they also give you tons of health benefits. Each time you climax, your body releases a cocktail of chemicals that boost your mood, help you sleep, and reduce your stress. Orgasms: cheers to your health.™️ 

Here’s the thing about your orgasm, though. The intensity of it relies on the tone and strength of your pelvic floor, a hammock-shaped muscle group located at the base of your core. It structurally supports your bladder and – for those with a vulva – your reproductive organs, and it’s the muscle group responsible for all those delicious contractions. You know the pulsing sensation you feel when you orgasm? That’s your pelvic floor. 

But when the pelvic floor weakens, you’re left with lackluster orgasms. What happened to all those explosive contractions? 

The most common causes of a weak pelvic floor

Here are some of the reasons pelvic floor tone declines:

• Age – the pelvic floor naturally weakens over time
• Pregnancy and childbirth
• Prolonged sitting on a daily basis
• Obesity

Here’s the good news though. Just like every muscle, you can train your pelvic floor, and get it back to an orgasmic powerhouse. 

Kegel training benefits 

After doing pelvic floor training, many people describe their orgasms as more full-bodied, and more intense. These orgasms radiate pleasure from the inside out, with longer, deeper contractions that are truly mind-blowing. 

Plus! You have more control over urination, aka: no more peeing when you sneeze. Your underwear thanks you. 

How to strengthen your orgasm muscle

Kegel exercises are a free, easy way to tone your pelvic floor. Squeeze like you’re stopping the flow of urine, hold for 10 seconds, release, and repeat: that’s a Kegel, and you can do them in sets of 10, a few times a day. Try to fully and consciously relax the muscle when you release it, so you’re not just repeatedly tensing it. 

(On that note: if you have vaginismus or chronic pelvic floor tension, kegels aren’t advisable. Kegel exercises do the opposite of what’s necessary for pain-free penetrative sex. So if finger, toy, or penis insertion is tight and painful for you, seek out a pelvic floor specialist – and hold off on the Kegels. What you need is pelvic floor relaxation.) 

Kegels are a good start, but if you’re ready for orgasms so strong they knock your socks off, you might want to consider a Kegel trainer. 

These are insertable tools that go inside the vagina, so you can squeeze and contract your pelvic floor against a pressure point. After a few weeks of training, you can look forward to orgasms that generate waves of pleasure all over the body. That’s because they even stimulate more of your sexual nerve endings, resulting in a legendary pleasure release. 

Intrigued? Here are my four favorite Kegel trainers. 

The Woo Trainer

Glass Yoni Egg Set

Price: $31

Lemme guess – you’ve heard of yoni eggs. Now let’s talk about how to use them safely. 

These particular yoni eggs are made with glass, which is key. Glass is a non-porous surface, so bacteria can’t take up residence inside them. As opposed to jade or onyx yoni eggs – both semi-porous – glass won’t house bacteria, provided you wash them before and after use. 

After washing, slick yourself and your yoni eggs with lube, and take a few, deep breaths. Lay down in a comfortable position, then mindfully insert one of the smaller ends to a comfortable depth. Squeeze your muscles and release, doing the Kegel set I outlined above. You want to feel that stopping-the-flow-of-urine sensation, so hold the squeeze for 10 seconds before you release. 

As for how long to keep your yoni egg in: 10 squeeze-and-releases, for 3 sets maximum. You can do this all lying down, and try not to go over 10 to 15 minutes in your session. The pelvic floor muscle needs time to rest, and you don’t want to overly fatigue it. Remove your egg, and finish your session with a few deep, cleansing breaths.

The Weights Trainer

Je Joue Ami Kegel Set

Price: $59

Fun fact: a set of these is purchased every 15 minutes! Probably because they give you awesome O’s. 

Notice that there are three insertion balls here: they’re progressively weighted, going from a soft weight single ball to hard and heavy double balls. 

• Light weight single ball: easier to hold in place, because it’s girthy and light.
• Medium weight double ball: more challenging to hold in place, because it’s slimmer and heavier.
• Heavy weight double ball: most difficult to hold in place, because it’s slim and heavy.

You can start out these exercises as outlined above (3 sets of 10 squeeze-and-release), but as you get more confident, you can try walking around with one of your weighted balls in. As your pelvic floor gets stronger, you’ll be able to handle more movement, even with the slim, heavy weight.

These are so great because they tell you pretty immediately how strong your pelvic floor is getting! Also love the finger loop for easy removal.

The Sex Toy-Plus-Trainer

LELO Beads Plus Kegel Set

Price: $99

Also called “love balls” or “jiggle balls,” these are LELO’s version of ben wa balls. 

Ben wa balls have been around for ages, and these offer a more customizable approach to your Kegel training. With the LELO Beads, same rules apply: start by lying down, mindfully inserting (use lots of lube), and doing your 3 sets of 10 squeeze-and-release. Just like Je Joue Ami, you can walk around with them in place once you feel more confident.

These have a dual purpose though: you can use them for solo play! Insert the beads inside, and masturbate with an external toy, like a bullet vibe. When you orgasm, your pelvic floor will squeeze and contract against the beads – which feels really, really good. 

The Smart Trainer

Lovelife Krush Smart Kegel Exercisers

Price: $129

This trainer is equipped with built-in sensor technology, and connects to an app, so you can actually see how strong your pelvic floor muscles are getting. Once inside, Krush measures the pressure, control, endurance and grip of your PC muscle.

This trainer is the closest thing to a real-life Kegel coach. The app gives you voice-guided training and workouts, tracks your progress, and rewards your progress. It’s super satisfying to see where you start at baseline, and how strong your muscles get over time. Plus it’s waterproof – you can do it in the bath! 

Want more? Get on the list for SmartSX, my *new* membership (coming September 10, 2024)! We’ll be sharing our wins around orgasms and Kegel training, our discoveries, and learning from experts. Pelvic floor health is just one of the many topics the SmartSX community is exploring, and it’s fun because you get to chat with real people – who are learning and growing, just like you.