Ah, multiple orgasms. A feat that comes as easy to some as it feels impossible to others. We’ve all heard about this masterful sex skill, but is it a talent you’re born with or something we can train ourselves to achieve?
Luckily, it’s the latter! And we’re here with an arsenal of tips to help you take the reins and experience this supremely sexy deed for yourself.
The Lowdown on Going to O-Town
What’s the real deal behind multiple orgasms in the first place? As we learned in the scholarly source that is Mean Girls, the limit does not exist. This goes for calculus, our self-restraint at bottomless brunch, and the number of orgasms one’s body can theoretically achieve—specifically when it comes to vulva-owners.
Of course, it’s not that penis-owners can’t have multiple o’s, but refractory periods are no joke. This gap of time between ejaculation and the physiological ability to have another orgasm is something vulva-owners don’t really have to deal with, which means they all have the potential to seize consecutive climaxes. (In theory, anyway.)
Biology aside, the best part about having multiple orgasms is that it’s just as enjoyable to reach with a partner as it is by yourself. After all, what’s hotter than seeing your boo going, and going…and going?
Different Types of Multiples
Before diving into the scoop on how to do it, it’s also important to understand that all multi-o experiences are not like the other. Surprisingly enough, it can happen in several different ways.
Some people experience “sequential” orgasms, which means each one takes place two to 10 minutes apart, feeling almost like a roller coaster of pleasure. On the other hand, there are “serial” orgasms, which fire off back to back and can sometimes be perceived as one long climax.
5 Tips for Multiple Orgasms
1. Slow Down
First thing’s first, one of the best (yet most basic) pieces of advice is to take things slow. As always, sex is a marathon, not a sprint. By actually paying attention to each and every sensation you incite while warming up, you get all the more aroused. Plus, you learn what works best, too.
Let’s remember, many vulva-owners need about 18 minutes of foreplay to cross the finish in general. So, pump the brakes and know it’s not a race against the clock. Since multiple orgasms can’t happen without investing some time, try drawing out the foreplay before even hitting the bedroom to get those sexy gears really turning.
2. Don’t expect them overnight.
As with a lot of sexual acts, multiple orgasms aren’t something to be instantaneously mastered. Despite having the biological ability to do so, everyone’s bodies still operate very differently. For some, it’s a cinch, whereas for others it takes tons of practice. This leads to our next tip.
3. Be patient and practice.
The only way to get better at achieving orgasms is to have more of them. This means getting to know your body and becoming one with what turns it on.
Whether you’re looking to master multiples with a partner or on your own, masturbation is the best study strategy. And to take the experimentation even further, don’t be afraid to mix and match the use of different motions, erogenous zones, calming products, lubes, and toys as well. Each of these elements can bring on night-and-day differences in stimulation, so taking each for a first-hand spin is the only way to know what works for you personally.
Another one of the most important yet often overlooked factors for orgasm is breath. Sounds simple, right? Without even realizing it, forgetting to breathe is amazingly easy in the heat of the moment. For some reason, it’s actually an extremely common tendency.
Deep, centered breathing boosts blood circulation (i.e. a cornerstone to the orgasmic build), and it’s essential to keep doing in order to not undermine your climax—as well as the second, or third, or fourth one to follow.
5. Get Out Of Your Head
If you leave this blog with only one takeaway, here is the biggest hack to having multiple orgasms: don’t think about having multiple orgasms.
Whenever the sexy mood strikes, a major step to making the most of it is to get in the sensual zone. Don’t think about what you look like. Don’t over-think what you’re doing or wonder if you’re taking too long. And most definitely not worrying about whether or not you’ll be able to pull through after that first leg-thumping culmination. As I’m sure we all know, it doesn’t take much to unintentionally psyche yourself out of the moment, no matter how turned on you started.
If you’re someone who has a hard time slowing your brain down, consider easing into things with a sexy wind-down routine beforehand. Perhaps with some meditation, listening to music, watching a sensual show or movie, even cannabis if that’s your thing. If the multiples happen, great! If not, that’s okay, too. And if the serials strike and you’re not even sure—seriously, don’t sweat it.
Sex isn’t about the numbers. In fact, the numbers almost always never matter one bit. All that matters is that you enjoy the ride, grow more in tune with your sensual side and have fun continuing to Lewis & Clark your way through the great, wide world of pleasure.
Alex Anderson is an LA-based lifestyle designer proactively raging against the cultural grain. By day she works in television production, and by night enjoys writing, sewing and seeking guidance from the stars. She also finally has an all-black kitty named “Cher.” You can follow her alt-lifestyle blog MSFT Living and on Instagram.