“The Most Common Fantasy in America (You’d Be Surprised)”

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In this Sex with Emily Q&A episode, Dr. Emily and producer Erica tackle listener questions about fantasies, relationships, and navigating sexual compatibility.

They explore cuckolding—one of America’s most common fantasies—discussing why partners want to watch their significant other with someone else, the importance of comprehensive pre-negotiation, and why “one and done” promises rarely hold true. A listener living with his ex-boyfriend learns why moving on sexually is so difficult when you’re still sharing space, and gets permission to stop pressuring himself during the healing process.

The conversation addresses adult baby/diaper fetishes, distinguishing between core erotic desires that are requirements versus nice-to-have fantasies, and explores creative solutions like working with specialized sex workers when partners aren’t compatible. Finally, they dissect a toxic relationship pattern where one partner constantly shifts between attraction and rejection, helping a listener recognize when it’s time to walk away.

Throughout, Dr. Emily emphasizes that early relationship sex fueled by new relationship energy doesn’t last forever, the importance of understanding your own pleasure rather than just servicing a partner’s wants, and why we need to stop dating people based on their potential to change.

Timestamps:
0:00 – Intro
1:25 – My Boyfriend Wants to Watch Me Have Sex with Another Man
6:02 – Why Cuckolding is One of America’s Most Common Fantasies
8:55 – How Do I Move On When I’m Still Living with My Ex?
14:59 – My Wife Thinks My Fetish is Demonic – Is This Marriage Over?
20:53 – He Says I’m Not Attractive Enough Anymore – What Do I Do?
23:29 – Red Flags: When Your Partner Wants You to Change Your Body
26:10 – Closing Thoughts: Stop Fighting for Approval, Start Honoring Your Needs

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