Beyond the Body Count: Reframing Sexual History in Dating

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This week on Sex With Emily, we’re tackling one of the most harmful and outdated questions in modern dating: “What’s your body count?” In conversation with holistic psychologist and trauma expert Dr. Scott Lyons, we explore the troubling origins of this term, once used to count military casualties, and how it’s been repurposed to judge sexual history, often unfairly targeting women. We unpack the double standards rooted in purity culture, the insecurities this question provokes, and the shame it can breed in both high and low numbers. More importantly, we discuss why the number of sexual partners has nothing to do with sexual skill, emotional readiness, or compatibility.

#intimacy #love #relationships

Timestamps:

00:00:00 – Body Count: A Sex-Positive Discussion

00:03:00 – Judging Past Relationships

05:51 – Body Count & Insecurities

08:24 – Why Judging is Wrong

10:46:38 – Historical Shame Roots

13:22 – Societal Shame & Body Count

15:47 – Regrets & Sexual Experiences

18:13 – Reframing the Conversation

22:44:04 – Ditching the Question

25:38 – Addressing Relationship Insecurities

37:53 – Pleasure, Goodbyes & Outro

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