The clitoris has been a focal point of sexual attention for years, but only recently did scientists discover the actual size of the clit (many times larger than originally thought). It is one of the most sensitive body parts, having around 8,000 nerve endings (twice as much as a penis) and affecting another 15,000 in the pelvic region. All the more reason to touch it.

Solo clit stimulation

Taking your pleasure into your own hands is the name of the game here. Using your fingertips to feel around is an important first step to explore how sensitive your own clit is. Since around “50 to 75% of women need clitoral stimulation to achieve orgasm,” this little body part packs a big punch in terms of your sex life.

Lube It Up.

The first thing you should know, even if you are by yourself masturbating, is….lube is your clit’s best friend. If you have been rubbing without using lube, then you have been missing out. When you are by yourself and using glass or crystal (for example) dildos or toys, or don’t have to worry about condoms or silicone toys, using a blend of oils can be a wonderful way to self-lubricate. If you are doing some solo stimulating without toys, it is best to use water-based lube. You can even try an enhanced lube.

Really get to know your clit, try different pacing of strokes, different intensity of pressure, and take note of how each different stroke feels. 

Use A Toy.

You can also use toys to stimulate your clit. One, in particular, has a powerful way of acting upon your clit, the Womanizer. Its clitoral vibrator is equipped with “Pleasure Air Technology” which “encloses your clitoris without touching it whilst stimulating it via soft pressure waves.” It also prevents overstimulation and “habituation” (meaning when your body gets used to the feeling), so you can come as often as you want!

Tips for partnered clit stimulation 

If you are wanting some tips on partnered sex and clitoral stimulation, I highly recommend that you don’t skip the solo tips above – you really should get to know your clit first before doing partnered clit stim. Orgasm coach and founder of Owning Your O, Wendy Perkins recommends the following tips for when your partner is doing the stimulation:

• A good technique that works for many is to use two fingers, the first and middle fingers. Have one finger pad on each side of the clitoris/clitoral hood so the nub is between the fingers. Then move fingers in a small, counter-clockwise pattern. This will cover more surface area without overstimulating a highly sensitive clitoris and allows for a consistent rhythm for the brain to recognize a pattern.
• If the clit-owner tilts their pelvis into the partner’s hand, then they are looking for more pressure, if they tilt away then lighten up the pressure.
• Wendy also reiterates the use of lube – “not only will it help the fingers to glide easier around the clit, but it also heightens the sensation because the lube covers more surface area activating more of the sensory nerves on the vulva.”

Clit-friendly positions

On top

The clitoral owner can ride on top of their partner so they can grind their clit against their partner’s body.

Doggy style

Doggy style can provide a great opportunity for clit stim because of the ability to reach back to your clit and/or your partner to reach down and around to stimulate it.

Missionary

One of the most overlooked clit-friendly positions is missionary. One partner can angle their trajectory so that upon thrusting, their pelvic region can brush upwards, rubbing the clitoris while penetrating (with either penis, dildo, finger, whatever is being used for penetration). To get the most bang for your buck (lol) out of your partner stimulating your clit, try this variation from Wendy Perkins: place clit-owner on her back, leg up on the partner’s shoulder (so, for example, right female leg up on male’s left shoulder). In this position, the partner’s right hand is available to stimulate. The leg up also provides leverage for the base of the penis (or strap-on) to be giving pressure to the legs of the clitoris via the vulva (see diagram above). Missionary is also great for non-penetrative clit stim, just rubbing bodies together in that position can get some clit traction.

Reverse cowgirl

Another clit-friendly position, reverse cowgirl can be better for concentrated clit-stimulation rather than front-facing riding, in part because the clit-owner doesn’t think as much about what they look like and they don’t have to read the face of their partner, which can sometimes get them in their head. Now that you have some top clit tips, feel free to go “rub one out”! And enjoy!

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Emily Anne is a bestselling author, sex coach and educator, who specializes in helping people expand their sexual horizons through BDSM and kink. When she’s not obsessively talking about sex, she’s hiking through the Hollywood Hills. Get some sexy education on her Instagram feed!