There’s a trendy new oral sex method that has many people singing from the rooftops. It’s called the Kivin Method, and today we are going to teach you all the juicy details…
Why Try The Kivin Method?
Both bloggers and sex therapists are all abuzz with this Kivin Method. Many are even claiming that it provides orgasms within 5-10 minutes for any vulva-owner. We believe it’s important not to be goal-oriented about sex having to lead to orgasm, and that faster isn’t necessarily better. However, the Kivin Method claims to increase the intensity of orgasms, and enhance overall pleasure, and we are down to support that!
Even if you are in a great oral sex routine already, and consistently experiencing pleasure and orgasms, it’s good to be receptive to experiencing pleasure in different ways. Vulva-owners have anatomy that is capable of multiple different types of orgasms and pleasure, so try something new today.
Every vulva-owner is vastly different in what, when, and how they enjoy receiving oral sex. So it’s important to note that what floats one person’s boat isn’t always going to float another. Because of that, it’s crucial that you utilize lots of communication when giving or receiving oral sex.
Let your partner know you’d like to try a new technique with them, and ask if they are comfortable with that, and ask for verbal feedback during and after.
How To Practice the Kivin Method
The Kivin Method has three key aspects to master that differ from the ‘traditional’ cunnilingus style; positioning, direction, and physical feedback. Let’s dive into each element so we can master the technique together.
With ‘traditional cunnilingus positioning’, we usually see the giver in between the receiver’s legs, facing towards their partner. Their nose points towards the belly button and their chin towards the booty. Hopefully, you’re with me so far, because this is where it gets a little…sideways.
With this method, the giver actually lays perpendicular to their partner, at a 90-degree angle, making somewhat of a capital ‘T’ with their bodies. So instead of looking upwards at the clit, you’re looking at it sideways.
You can experiment with coming in from either side of your partner’s body. Because most vulva-owners have one side of their clit that is more sensitive than the other, it’s a good idea to try both sides and ask them which was their fave.
You can tackle this positioning a few different ways. Choose what works best based on your physical comfort, as well as the receivers sensitivity preference. If the vulva owner enjoys being widely spread for maximum stimulation, suggest they pull their legs back for more intense stimulation. Some people prefer closed legs and the sensation of the labia massaging the sides of the clitoris. In that case, suggest they keep their legs down and open their legs enough for your tongue to get in and do its magic.
There are a few techniques to master with your hands for this move. With your left hand, place your index finger and thumb on either side of the clitoris to raise it and help keep it in place while you lick. Communicate verbally with your partner as to what finger positioning feels best for them, and adjust accordingly.
Some people who have tried this method claim that once the clitoris is aroused, they can feel two small bumps on either side of the clitoral hood, which feel like two small grains of rice. These are called “K points”. If you are able to feel them, sweep your tongue over the clitoral hood in between these two points.
Remember that the clitoral tissue swells when aroused, just as a penis does. So, if you’re unable to find them at first, stay curious and you might notice these bumps become more apparent during the experience. Of course, everyone’s genitals are unique, and some may not have detectable “K points”. Don’t worry too much if you can’t find them, it’s more important to listen to your partner’s verbal and physical feedback anyway.
Try a few different positions with your left hand, and remember that the changes your partner needs might be really subtle, so check with them and listen carefully to what feels good before you commit to one hand position. You may want to do a few licks during this time to help your partner determine what hand position feels best.
Tantalizing Tongue Work
Now that you’re in position, do some tongue warm-ups (just kidding…or am I?) and get licking! The trick with this snazzy move is that you’re licking horizontally (instead of the usual vertical direction) across the hood of the clit in a gentle up and down motion, much like you’d eat an ice cream cone. Delicious.
It’s crucial that you try a few different variants with your tongue to hone in on exactly what your partner likes before you get into a rhythm. The key with this method is to figure out the nuances that feel best on your partner and then STAY CONSISTENT. Don’t make me shout it out to the people in the back, listen up!
Frankly, this is usually pretty important to most vulva owners receiving any type of oral sex. Once you’re onto a good thing, stay with it. To figure out what works best, check out our clit touch styles.
Let’s Get Physical (Feedback)!
The suggestion for your right hand with the Kivin method is to place gentle pressure on the perineum (sometimes known as the taint). The perineum is a pleasure barometer and noticing the involuntary muscle contractions and spasms of the receiver will help you hone in on what feels best. No words necessary.
Some people find pressure on their perineum uncomfortable. This can easily be adjusted by experimenting with inserting a finger (or two) into the vaginal canal, or gentle massage of the exterior or interior of the anus. Either of these should give you similar feedback, so explore what works best for you.
Physical feedback can also be assessed by observing visually. Look for involuntary muscle movements in your partner’s stomach muscles, as well as notice their breathing patterns.
Of course, these physical feedback cues can be great, but it’s really important to ask for and listen to verbal directions and feedback also.
So is this “revolutionary new technique” really all that new or revolutionary? Probably not, since people have been performing sideways cunnilingus for (presumably) thousands of years. But, being able to name a technique gives us important language to use in communicating with partners.
This method also has a few tricks that help provide some valuable feedback about your partner’s arousal.
It’s fun to explore new things in your sex life, and to learn subtle tips and tricks that can improve your sexual satisfaction and your partners. Plus it’s wonderful to have concise language for communicating your preferences to sexual partners.
Isabella Frappier is an Australian ex-pat living in LA, who swapped gumtrees for palm trees. She’s a writer and a holistic Sexuality Doula, who specializes in body literacy, sexual sovereignty, and BDSM. She is also a host on the popular new Sex Magic Podcast. When she’s not busy championing her sex-positive agenda, she—oh wait—she’s always busy doing that. Follow her adventures on Instagram.